Ambience

me

me

dance, like no one is watching

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Unseen

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I looked for something

I sought it out

For now its unseen

For now there’s doubt

Under the bed

Behind the shade

Still like the dead

The noise did fade

I looked for someone

I sought them out

They are still unseen

They knock about

I see the wind blow

I feel the cold

I sense a faint glow

I’m getting old

The spirits come calling

They are unseen

They move like falling

They welcome me

 

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10 ways to a better Workout Plan you’ll keep and love!

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I remember getting into a friend’s car one afternoon to catch a ride to work. In the floorboard was a gallon jug of water. I thought it was such an odd place for this, unless her car was overheating and so I asked her why she had it in her car.

She told me that she made a plan to drink a full gallon of water every day and if it wasn’t right in front of her, she knew she’d never drink it. She told me if she kept it in the refrigerator, it would stay there. She would forget about it, or it would become a chore to get up and go get it. So she kept this jug of water with her all day, no matter where she was.

Even in all of it’s simplicity, that was a great plan!

Many of us make promises to ourselves to do better and to be better. We want to be fit and healthy, smarter, prettier, more handsome, etc. We make these expectations for ourselves and then along the way they lose their appeal and become either inconvenient, or forgotten. How can we maintain that enthusiasm? How can we make those goals we want to reach attainable and present? We are all quite capable of making this work for ourselves!

We simply need to have a plan that isn’t a spreadsheet or an app. We need a plan that is as simple as a gallon jug of water. Here are ten simple ways to make a plan and have fun sticking to it:   Continue reading

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What you can do when your mother-in-law Hates you

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A few years back I realized that my loyalty and undying love and affections were not only misguided, but being wasted on my mother-in-law. While I was busy shining in the fact that I loved her and she loved me, she was telling people how much she hated me. I had absolutely no idea.

“I don’t like my son’s wife.” 

People that spent a lot of time with her tried to tell me that this was something she did on a regular basis, but I never believed them. I would listen to them as they described how she spread the word and what she said about me, then I would file it away as gossip and never think about it again. I never told her that they were telling me how much she hated me. I didn’t want to give her any reasons to get mad at them for saying something to me. I figured it was best left unsaid. Why cause drama?

Anyway, I could ignore all of this easily because every day my mother-in-law stopped by my house to say hello and to tell me how much she loved me. So why would I believe that she hated me? It was so much easier to believe in the love.

It wasn’t just that either.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

when you see the Narcissist’s Mask slip *gasp!*

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The first time I saw it happen, I second guessed myself that it was probably an optical illusion. I ended up cheating myself out of that AHA! moment of knowing that I have finally mastered the art of seeing a mask slip right when it’s happening.

When it happens and that mask slips, you can see the dark hole just beyond the surface of someone that has totally forgotten the story they spun just for you, by letting you hear the exact same story they had spun for someone else, as if you never existed. Then everything they ever said to you that had any impact at all, comes into that questioning light. Was any of it real? Did you mean anything of substance that you’ve ever said to me?

All of it had nothing to do with you, but it was everything to the masquerader, the person wearing the mask. That story was their ticket to the undivided attention and glory worship that made you feel like you were their super special friend…even though you weren’t. At that one moment when they had you completely sucked into their vortex, you were simply food for a narcissist. You were there just to mirror back to them how awesome you think they are because that’s how awesome they need to believe they are.

The best way to get that is to find those folks that have plenty of it to share. Those People Pleasers, those Givers, those ones.

I know all of this sounds so confusing and I think an example of what it might feel like is in order.  Continue reading

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Is that a reliable source?

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I don’t take anyone’s Word for it anymore.

And why should I?

Why should you?

In an uneven, out of balance world filled to the brim with liars and false prophets, people out to make a buck while climbing the social ladder or the career mountain, why would anyone trust what someone says to them anymore? Some folks are simply intrigued by whether or not they can make you believe them!

So what keeps all of us from becoming cynical, jaded and isolated?   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Nice-Nasty

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I grew up hearing this endearment. I always thought everyone knew what the term meant, but folks have no idea what it means and have never even heard the saying. Well, allow me to add a little something to your genteel vocabulary.

Urban Dictionary says this about nice-nasty:
“nice-nasty
1. A person who is always fresh in public but has a nasty house.
2. A person who pretends to be nice but will talk about you in your face and you not even notice it until they walk away.
3. A person who will “politely” put you in your place if you get wrong with them.
4. A person that is nice to you in your presence but will talk about you behind your back.
1. She is fine but her house stinks. She’s nice-nasty.
2. She just talked so bad to you and you didn’t even catch it! She was so nice-nasty with it. LOL”

I am pretty sure this is a Southern term, but I could be wrong there. I know I heard this used all the time by the grown-ups in my house. One thing it was used for with me was my perpetual snotty nose. I had bad allergies in the winter, still do. I’m allergic to cedar and all things evergreen, so I suffer immensely during the colder months. My nose always dripped like a leaky faucet.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Just thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments