the Secrets we Keep

When I first started recovering from years of mental and verbal abuse, I loathed talking about it. Who wants to admit they were stupid enough to fall victim to an abuser? It’s humiliating to endure the voice in your own head condemning you for allowing it to continue to happen for so many years without doing anything to stop it. In fact, you encouraged it by apologizing for stuff that wasn’t your fault and going back again and again to beg the abuser to stay in your life. Who needs that as a legacy, right? So I didn’t talk about it and not talking about it meant the only help I was getting was whatever I could dig up in secret.

Then one day the right person encouraged me to start telling my story, and I did. Once I got started it was like a long dormant volcano erupting. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote and I published all of it on a blog for public consumption. I figured that I wasn’t the only one suffering at the hands of a malignant narcissist, and boy was I right! There are millions of you guys out there and all of you have a story that reads almost exactly like mine did.   Continue reading

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Have you ever experienced Instant Karma?

We all know about Karma.

Karma is that faith in knowing that what goes around eventually comes back around in some way to show you the error of your ways if they’re bad, or to give back something good if you’re putting love out into the world. It’s cause and effect.

Karma can not be rushed, it happens in an organic and timely manner and you might not always get to see or feel the results, but they are there. Karma means you can rest. You don’t have to fight or worry or seek because Karma will make sure that whatever you have coming to you will reach it’s destination.

There’s also a little something I like to call Instant Karma. This is Karma that comes back around quickly and if you are the tiniest bit self-aware you’ll feel it when it happens to you. If you aren’t self-aware then there’s probably going to be a much bigger karmic explosion in your life later on.   Continue reading

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What’s up with the TIP jars everywhere?!

Tip jars in the wild

Everyone knows, well everyone but the folks that live in Italy, that you are supposed to tip your server in a restaurant. The term Tips means “to insure proper service” and in the United States the tip makes up the majority of what the server is actually paid. The standard wage for waitstaff here is $5.09 per hour. In some places in Europe the waitstaff is paid the same as everyone else, and sometimes better than most minimum wage earners here in the USA. This is all common knowledge.

What has also become common here is something called “the TIP jar” and these jars are popping up everywhere. I see them in places where to me it doesn’t even make sense to have one, like in the chain sandwich store Subway.

What exactly am I tipping here for?   Continue reading

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7 ways to WALK AWAY from Narcissistic Abuse

I would say it’s interesting watching a narcissist do battle with the person they are intent on abusing, if it wasn’t such a waste of time and energy. That’s the only way you can look at the person so hellbent on twisting the facts of what really happened and why and how the person they picked to abuse that day simply cut their losses and left.    Continue reading

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Discovering Twelve 28 Kitchen

Located in a quaint shopping center in Penn Valley, CA is a hidden gem of a restaurant. From the eclectic re-purposed decor to the wildflower bouquets, every single item in this establishment has been met with absolute love for what they are trying to do here. This place is called Twelve 28 Kitchen and it is divine!

I arrived right as they were opening that evening and was seated right away. Beverages were discussed and chosen. This place offers a large selection of local craft beers and wine to pair with every dish you order and they have some of the most exotic names I’ve ever heard.   Continue reading

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Riding the rails! From Virginia to California on Amtrak

A dream of mine has been to ride the train from the East coast to the West coast and back again. I recently got to fulfill that Bucket List wish and traveled from Norfolk, VA to Sacramento, CA and returned to Norfolk on the train a few days later. It was everything I dreamed it would be and more. Stay with me while I share with you everything you’ll need to know, from soup to nuts, about how to plan your trip and what to expect on the way.

The first thing you need to do is to book your travel!   Continue reading

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We all have better things to talk about

 

I cannot tell you the number of times I would sit down in a therapy session and start out by sharing the latest bit of mean petty crap someone had been saying about me and how hurt I was when I heard it. In the beginning this happened every single session I attended. My therapist would sit and quietly listen to me and then she would give me the best advice. She said

“The next time someone comes to you and starts telling you what they heard about you, just put up your hand and shake your head no and tell them you’re not interested in what they heard or who said it.” 

I remember hearing her tell me this and wondering how in the world I would ever be able to do that. It seemed like an impossible task made to sound so simple!

Why was that so hard for me to do?   Continue reading

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