Their List of Your Flaws

Photo: Jonas Svidras @ STEP.CAMERA

I’ve never been the sort of person that can set out to destroy someone simply because they point out one thing I’ve done wrong. I tend to stick to the subject and deal with that one issue rather than hit back with a litany of previously unspoken faults that person has done wrong, as if this justifies having done something wrong at all. I don’t understand people that can throw back these numbered and bullet pointed lists of your numerous transgressions when they’ve said nothing about them before. Do they just save them up for a rainy day?

I was gardening a few weeks ago and cut back a climbing rose bush that is clearly on my property. I had been in the yard with a helper working slowly since that morning. My helper was using power tools so we weren’t that quiet and it was pretty obvious what our objective was. Hours later when we were just finishing up the neighbor comes out to the rose bush where I’m standing and starts to complain about what we have done “to his yard”.  Continue reading

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What do your Mornings look like?

Some mornings when I’m staring back at myself in the bathroom mirror brushing my teeth I can hear that Paul McCartney song in my head:

“Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair
Wraps a towel around her as she’s heading for the bedroom chair
It’s just another day
Slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes
Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat
It’s just another day
At the office where the papers grow she takes a break
Drinks another coffee and she finds it hard to stay awake
It’s just another day
Do do do do do do, it’s just another day…”

Except for the part about feeling sad and waiting on the man of her dreams, this song kind of says it all when it comes to having a morning routine. This kind lady’s routine seems a bit overwhelming at times but she seems to be hanging in there.  Continue reading

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A Healthy Routine can Change your Life: Bedtimes for Adults

When the word “routine” comes to mind I think of marching bands or dancers, activities that can not survive unless they are mapped out or performed with some kind of thought and precision. Even a mosh pit has an undulating routine to it. Routines allow great big groups of people to do one thing together nicely, or they allow one person to stay focused and balanced in life. That last one is the one I want to explore with you today; how to have a healthy bedtime routine.  Continue reading

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Finding a Great Therapist and healing the Hurt

I want to start out by telling you how fantastic my therapist was by telling you how bad someone treated me.

I had experienced an explosion of toxic behavior from someone I had thought was a dear friend. What I believed would be worked out to cause our friendship to become stronger ended up exposing this person for the truly disturbed individual they had always been. I had no idea what had been lurking below the surface and it spun me in circles trying to catch my breath while she seemed to immensely enjoy the ride she was taking me on.  Continue reading

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Holding that Grudge is Killing you

I have heard that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies and I believe this is true. Holding a grudge and continuing to poke insults and jabs at the person you feel wronged you is indeed poisonous, toxic behavior and the people supporting your grudge are cheering you on while you commit mental suicide.

What does holding a grudge mean? A grudge against someone is holding onto resentment. You continue to stoke those fires of anger and hatred inside your heart and it spills over into your outside life eventually. Holding tight to bitter feelings will make you an ugly and abysmal person over a period of time.

Whether you poke fun and make jokes about your grudge or you outright spew venom, you are still guilty of holding a grudge. 

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it’s not not about them…but they think it is

mirror, mirror

When someone connects to anything I write and finds hope in an otherwise hopeless situation then I am elated to share in their joy of discovery. But there is that small percentage that think everything is about them and they don’t like it. They read something I write and see the worst of themselves and rather than looking inward and hopefully grow up a little, they point the finger at me and call me names.

I cannot and will not take responsibility when someone out there takes ownership of an observation I make and then becomes offended by it. That is on them, not me. 

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what your PUBLIC profile says about you

I have never felt the need to make my personal Facebook or any other personal social media profile public. Making your profile public means that anyone can see what you’ve posted and sometimes they don’t even need to be on Facebook to see it.

I think unless you’re trying to earn a living, a public profile is an uncomfortable amount of personal information to put out there for general consumption.

Why do I feel this way? I think way too much personal information gets bandied about and it’s starting to hurt people. It’s become easier every day to socially engineer a person simply based on what they share on social media. I’m not alone in this belief.

There are many problems with a personal public profile but I think the biggest issue is not only are they exposing themselves, they are exposing every one of their friends that comment on their public profile. If you have an unpopular opinion or make an off-color remark on a public profile, everyone can see it, search for your name and find it then they can punish you for it by unfriending you or perhaps not hiring you for that job you really wanted. Is it worth it?

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