I looked for you at the event. I wanted to thank you. You were the biggest reason I rocked my Burn so hard this year.
You were also the person that finally made me realize that I was not a part of the team. I was just the fringe and a burden. I resented it at first, but then I made peace with it. I was never a member of the group out there or at home. You only loved me because you loved my husband. I’m not saying I’m unlovable, because I surely am. But I am aware that I had nothing in common with many of the others and would never fit in. That’s okay though, not everyone fits into every place.
I do fit in another group, or more like a team. We worked as a team and we played as a team. There was no drama. There were no fights. Even today there is a lot of love, support and understanding among us all. I hope you felt that in your own circle this year too. It’s an awesome feeling.
Encircled in happiness I set out to learn everything I could learn about an event that has the power to change lives, and I changed mine.
I know it was never your intention for me to bail, but you did me a favor. I knew I was unhappy there and you gave me a reason to leave.
I focused on the friends in my life that have always let me know that I mattered to them. I reaped a joyful bounty.
I miss you sometimes, but then I remind myself that you were sent to me as a lesson and perhaps we were never meant to be friends. Perhaps one day we both will experience the peace of coexistence. It’s a lovely thought. I think I’ll keep it close to my heart and move on now.
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