My boyfriend and I were heading out for two well-deserved weeks of vacation and were in desperate need of a house sitter. We needed someone to take care of our pets and keep an eye on things while we were away. Rather than hire an expensive and impersonal house sitter we decided to offer our home to a couple of our friends. We wish now that we had just written the check.
This couple we knew had just taken in his brother, wife and their two kids because they had ended up homeless for a bit. Their tiny home was burgeoning with life. In fact, it was crowded and the lack of privacy was driving my friends crazy. We thought having our nice, cozy home all to themselves for two whole weeks would be a welcome vacation for them. They were so grateful and moved right in.
Now my girlfriend worked crazy hours. Sometimes she was in the office for 12 to 14 hours a day. Her husband didn’t work at all so he spent a lot of alone-time in our home. He evidently used his time unwisely and decided to find out all kinds of interesting tidbits about us. The minute I arrived home from our journey I grabbed the remote control and headed over to the VCR. I was a rabid Real World fan and had set the machine to tape the two episodes I’d miss while away. I was excited to sit down on the sofa and hit Rewind and then Play.
Imagine me sitting impatiently while the VCR whined to a stop. I vigorously hit the Play button and I see on the screen…the final 5 minutes of this week’s episode. What? I Rewind again and the tape stops in seconds. I hit Play again. Still I see the last 5 minutes of this week’s episode. What happened to last week? And what happened to the rest of this week?
As I sit there pondering the television screen goes blue. I’m still pondering when the room fills with very bad disco music and onscreen are 2 people going at each other, naked. Yes folks, it was a porn tape!
My jaw drops, but I can’t stop looking. Deep down I keep hoping this is perhaps a Real World episode and then it dawns on me. I KNOW this tape! I’ve seen it before! And I know exactly where I had it hidden!
In order for this particular tape to be in my VCR playing at this very moment, someone had to really dig and plunder to find it. I had this tape hidden away in my lingerie drawer underneath everything. They weren’t something I had watched more than once and probably should have been tossed out, but I had squirreled it away.
Can you imagine? My friend’s husband pawing through my lingerie? Gross!
I was so disgusted. I felt violated, betrayed, dirty. And none of those feelings were in any way related to what was playing on the screen. Those feelings go beyond any porn tape.
This was a couple we loved like family. The husband was a self-proclaimed guru whose favorite saying was “Love is the answer.”
Exactly what kind of *love* was he expressing when he invaded my privacy?
I never confronted him, but I did tell some of my friends that also used his house-sitting services. Since then his wife has divorced him and I have shared my experience with her. She wasn’t surprised.I destroyed the tape and I never let a friend house sit for me again.
My advice to you is to know the person you allow into your personal space. It’s not enough to just be friends. Obviously, even a friend can step beyond the boundary of decency. Perhaps this person was not ever a friend. I’ll never know.
Write the check. Hire a bonded and licensed house-sitter. You’ll be glad you did.
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