Contrary to what most of you might think, I have dated. This advice is offered unsolicited to any woman out there having troubles finding the right mate. It might not snare a man for you, but it will sure give you the insight to know the real one when he comes along. Now let’s explore some of the different kinds of men out there.
Note: I offer advice based on my experiences with the male gender, however you can use my advice with any gender you choose. I’m pretty sure it all works the same way, no matter who you are. I am not a licensed *anything* just a gal with some wisdom to share.
I call this post Love the One You’re With Just the Way They Are. Enjoy! I had a boyfriend for eight years that issued some pretty strong wake up calls that I was too young and stupid to heed while we were together. Here’s a classic;
I was making a Carnation instant breakfast one morning and he comes trotting into the kitchen just as I was tearing the top from the packet and snatches it out of my hands, “One of these is like eating a whole egg. Do you really want to eat a whole egg right now? Are you that hungry? Do you need to eat a whole egg right now?” I want you to know I seriously thought about my answer to the question, did I want an egg right then? Well no, I wanted that packet of instant breakfast to mix into my glass of milk.
Yes, I was hungry, in fact practically starving! Bathing suit season was coming fast upon us and my boyfriend, the surfer, had already begun spring training for his girlfriend. Every year for eight years I endured hungry seasons…spring and summer. I had to do at least 500 sit-ups every night before bed, he held my feet and counted, and instead of using the car for errands I was given a brand new pair of sneakers and told that “walking does a body good”. I was so painfully thin most years that my friends swore I had an eating disorder and wanted to do an intervention. And once he deduced which friends these were, I was no longer allowed to hang out with them.
I was dating an Image Nazi. I had to look good in my bikini on the beach.
Can you imagine spending your whole life under the influence of a control freak?
Ladies, heed the warning signs! If the guy you’re dating has no qualms contradicting your eating habits he’s just inches away from taking full control of every other facet of your life. It’s just a matter of time before he’s telling you how to dress and who your friends can be. Once you’re isolated it’s hard to get out! Dump him!
Find someone that wants to be with you just the way you are and any other way you might want to be. Acceptance and allowing another human being to be who they are is the first step to relationship happiness. Love isn’t about how a person looks or how a person makes you look, it’s about loving someone unconditionally just because you can.
The coin has a flipside too ladies. If you’re with someone right now and you police every morsel he consumes, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. If he has high blood pressure or he’s borderline diabetic that’s one thing, but if you’re doing it just because *you* think he’s unattractive…well, then you have some issues of your own to work out.
Besides if a man wants you to be healthy and slim he’d do what my husband does. My husband lets me decide when I’m ready to make a change and then he supports me. I have a membership at the Y and occasionally he’ll ask how that’s going for me and I give him an update. If we’re in a restaurant and I order a burger and he orders a salad sometimes I’ll change my order, but he’s never made a remark or gave me a look, I do it because I *can* change it. His only interest is that I feel good in my skin…skin he loves.
Later I’ll explore the guy that gets angry because you won’t have sex on the first date. Now there’s a winner. My objective is to give all of my single girlfriends that are out there looking for someone to love the tools to find someone that will treat them like the goddesses they are.