what I’ve been missing

by Madeline Laughs

I woke up early this morning. I’m still recovering from my last plane flight and have a slight chest cold which wakes me coughing and sniffling. I stroll into the living room, careful to pull the bedroom door closed so I don’t wake my husband when I turn on the lights.

I pick up my latest book. I just finished the one I started on the plane ride home and have voraciously started another one. I’m cold so I put on a sweatshirt that has been laying on the couch. I then reach down to grab my lovely pink Ugg slippers. They’re adorable and have a nice pink fringe at the top and keep my feet toasty. I’ve even worn them to the dentist office on occasion when I’ve rolled out of bed just long enough to brush my teeth before driving the mile to his office. He thinks they’re adorable too. So I’m bent over grabbing my slipper… 

And then I see them…

They have elluded me since the day I flew to Kentucky for work…the fukkers. And now, not even 2 days since I return and they decide to make an appearance. I even took precautions to make sure they didn’t disappear and still they had a mind of their own and took a trip far away from me. They have caused me great pain my entire trip. They caused my shoes to blister my heels. They have made my fashionable skirts less than cute. They have made me wonder if I ever really owned them in the first place.

Yet here they are.

I’m talking about a full-on comeback too. Not just a peepshow. There they are in all their glory. Mocking me. Making me feel like I could strangle them without a bit of remorse.

They are….MY ANKLES!!!

Yes, this is a valid travel concern for some of us.

Swollen ankles.

It only affects me on long flights, but after suffering from this affliction to the distraction of everything else I feel it’s only right to broach the subject. Flying leaves me sporting elephant stumps for legs. How sexy is that?

Knowing this is my cross to bear I start days in advance of my flight drinking large buckets of water to be assured of adequate hydration. I also make the call to the doctor who phones in the wonder drug diuretic and gives me the sound advice…pay attention people to this because it’s vital…DO NOT TAKE A DIURETIC THE DAY YOU FLY!!! Diuretics thicken the blood and that’s what makes you eliminate all of the excess water. If you use this during your flight you run a greater risk of developing a blood clot and that could kill you.

Nothing worked for me this time.

I strolled around the plane on numerous occasions. I drank tons of water during my flight and took my diuretic the day after my flight and still my ankles stayed under wraps.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m so happy to see them. I’ve missed them! I’m so thrilled they’ve returned I may photograph them and display them on my page so all can see that I do indeed have lovely ankles.

My grandfather told me that the sign of a good woman was a full bottom lip and skinny ankles. Today…I have both.

I am a good woman.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to what I’ve been missing

  1. Regyna Longlank says:

    Yeah, having cankles sucks. I had that at the end of my pregnancy and it was really awful. I would sit there at the end of the day with my feet up and watch them pulsate, after a while the swelling would go down but I felt like I’d never get my body back. It changes you, to have to carry all that extra weight around, to know what it’s like. It’s hard just to walk up a set of stairs, there’s no room for your lungs to inflate and you’re always out of breath. I can’t imagine having to deal with that every time you fly with all the travel you do, that is harsh. I have a friend who ended up with really bad varicose veins from flying a lot and all the swelling, she ended up having to have surgery to increase circulation or something. I think it did help, but the process seemed very painful. I don’t understand why they can’t control cabin pressure better than that.

    Like

  2. Michi says:

    I had NO IDEA flying could do this to someone! Hopefully people that take diuretics remember the blood clot factor.

    Like

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