I woke up early this morning. I’m still recovering from my last plane flight and have a slight chest cold which wakes me coughing and sniffling. I stroll into the living room, careful to pull the bedroom door closed so I don’t wake my husband when I turn on the lights.
I pick up my latest book. I just finished the one I started on the plane ride home and have voraciously started another one. I’m cold so I put on a sweatshirt that has been laying on the couch. I then reach down to grab my lovely pink Ugg slippers. They’re adorable and have a nice pink fringe at the top and keep my feet toasty. I’ve even worn them to the dentist office on occasion when I’ve rolled out of bed just long enough to brush my teeth before driving the mile to his office. He thinks they’re adorable too. So I’m bent over grabbing my slipper…
And then I see them…
They have eluded me since the day I flew to Kentucky for work…the fukkers. And now, not even 2 days since I return and they decide to make an appearance. I even took precautions to make sure they didn’t disappear and still they had a mind of their own and took a trip far away from me. They have caused me great pain my entire trip. They caused my shoes to blister my heels. They have made my fashionable skirts less than cute. They have made me wonder if I ever really owned them in the first place.
Yet here they are.
I’m talking about a full-on comeback too. Not just a peepshow. There they are in all their glory. Mocking me. Making me feel like I could strangle them without a bit of remorse.
They are….MY ANKLES!!!
Yes, this is a valid travel concern for some of us.
It only affects me on long flights, but after suffering from this affliction to the distraction of everything else I feel it’s only right to broach the subject. Flying leaves me sporting elephant stumps for legs. How sexy is that?
Knowing this is my cross to bear I start days in advance of my flight drinking large buckets of water to be assured of adequate hydration. I also make the call to the doctor who phones in the wonder drug diuretic and gives me the sound advice…pay attention people to this because it’s vital…DO NOT TAKE A DIURETIC THE DAY YOU FLY!!! Diuretics thicken the blood and that’s what makes you eliminate all of the excess water. If you use this during your flight you run a greater risk of developing a blood clot and that could kill you.
Nothing worked for me this time.
I strolled around the plane on numerous occasions. I drank tons of water during my flight and took my diuretic the day after my flight and still my ankles stayed under wraps.
Don’t get me wrong…I’m so happy to see them. I’ve missed them! I’m so thrilled they’ve returned I may photograph them and display them on my page so all can see that I do indeed have lovely ankles.
My grandfather told me that the sign of a good woman was a full bottom lip and skinny ankles. Today…I have both.
I am a good woman.
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