I finally took that leap of faith back into the dating pond recently. I signed up for a dating service and started sending out those single signals in hopes that someone nice out there wanted to share some time with me.
My first date ended up being someone a friend introduced me to.
I love meeting new people. I especially love it when the new person has been screened and sieved by my friends. This guy was new in town, but at first blush he seemed dreamy. My friends were excited to introduce me and I was excited to get my feet wet.
Well, he was super cute! Surface-wise he really had it going on. I was immediately attracted to him. That attraction, sadly, did not carry me any further.
When you’re our age there are certain things anyone should expect. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that someone in their 30’s should have their own transportation, or at least the means to get their own transportation, like a job. That was two strikes and we hadn’t even eaten a meal together yet.
Speaking of eating a meal, this guy didn’t have the funds to really date me. My friends had no idea of any of this beforehand because during the pre-screening process he had not been very honest about his plight. I thought to myself, this is not a big deal, and decided to still give him a chance.
Did I tell you how cute he was?
Our first meeting was in a local bar where all of my friends hang out. I figured this would be a safe meeting place. This way, if he turned out to be a jerk, I had all of my friends there to buffer me.
It wasn’t so bad, though there were things I noticed that night that annoyed me. I watched him turn, surreptitiously, to people sitting beside him and ask them to buy him a beer! He did this all night! I don’t know about you, but I am a firm believer that if you can’t buy your own beers, don’t go to the bar! But I decided to let that slide.
He was so cute!
A week later I was going to a small gathering at a friend’s home and invited him to come along as my date. We weren’t in the door five minutes when he made a mean comment about the food being served. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except he made the comment to my friend! Then he laughed and said “Just kidding!”
Shall I count the number of times I heard him say “Just kidding!” that night? It was so obnoxious! You would think he had never been in the presence of human beings before.
The cuteness wore off.
This date was actually a good lesson right out of the gate. It helped me make a mental list of the person I did not want to date.
1. It would be nice if the guy has a job. It’s not a deal breaker, as long as I know the guy is trying to get a job, but a job is a must-have on my list.
2. It would also be nice if the guy has a car, or at least his own mode of transportation. I have no problems meeting my date somewhere, but I’m not keen on being the designated driver once he’s toasted.
3. Don’t bum drinks.
4. The biggest lesson was watching him interact with my friends. If a date can’t be socialized into my circle of friends then he’s never going to make it to first base with me. He has to know when to turn it off. Being snarky and insulting is not cute.
At the end of the evening I knew my friends weren’t thrilled with him anymore, but because they love me they would continue to accept him, so long as it made me happy. But alas, this was a definite deal breaker for me.
When you’re on a first date, don’t hate.
My calendar is filling up now! It’s true, there are plenty of fish in the sea! My next date will be happening soon. So stay tuned!
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