Talking yourself out of Love

by Single not Desperate
A photo of a cup of coffee.

Image via Wikipedia

Last week I decided to give Teletubby a second chance to woo me. He is the guy that called me from the bath tub. I can’t lie, I was nervous about meeting him. I kind of already knew it might not be a love connection.

Ladies, it’s a good idea to have first meetings during the day. Lunch, coffee, even a breakfast date can end very quickly if you decide you’re ready to move on. Drinks after work and dinner always suggest a lead-in to the evening and may not be so easy to escape from. 

I met this date at a local restaurant for coffee.

He was kind of funky looking and I mean that in the nicest way. Perhaps there was too much hair product and piercings for my taste, but maybe he had a winning personality? I could tell he was very shy and uncomfortable because he had trouble making eye contact. I always thought I would be the shyest one, but he had me beat.

The shy routine did not last for very long.

Once he warmed up to me, he really warmed up. I had to stop myself from checking my watch. Ten minutes into breakfast I was ready to bolt. I kept hearing my friend’s warnings and advice in my head and wondering “Is now the time to tell him I’m not interested in a second date?” I started making a mental grocery list in my head to keep from running to the front door of the restaurant screaming.

What did he do that annoyed me so much?

He talked about himself. He talked about himself. He talked about himself. He didn’t shut up about himself. And then he talked about himself some more. It went on and on and on. But did he ever ask one single question about me? No, not one, not even if I liked my coffee. This went on for an hour!

This guy was on a date with himself. I was just there to fill up the booth across from him at the table so he didn’t look too weird. It’s true! My contribution to the conversation were things like “Really?” and “uh-huh!” and “Oh!”.

I finally had the chance to interject when he made the mistake of taking a sip of his beverage and very firmly said “You know Teletubby, this has been nice, but I just don’t think I want to see you for a second date.”

Saying that and then making my exit, wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. I smiled all the way to the car. Never again will I have to suffer through a date like that just so I can feel like I’m with someone.

My advice to single men dating out there is this; don’t monopolize the conversation trying to impress the lady. Take a moment to find out who she is. If you want the lady to want you, make her feel special, or at least noticed. The date is not all about you!

Don’t be an idiot and talk yourself right out of love.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Talking yourself out of Love

  1. Regyna Longlank says:

    Ugh, I hate it when that happens. You get nervous and you just talk and talk and who knows what you are saying until later when you get home and realize you just did that nervous talking thing again. If I know I’m nervous I have a chance of controlling it, I can try to act normal if I realize I’m doing it. The problem comes when I don’t realize it, when I’m so nervous I think I’m fine until afterward. That kind of nervous makes you a strange sort of numb and you do stupid things before you realize you are doing it. Like walking out of an audition as if they rejected you while they are trying to tell you that you’re great. Yes I did do that, and as I came to my senses on the sidewalk outside I realized I had blown it, and it was way too late to go back in there because they had already seen me crack under pressure. Oh well, on to the next audition! I mean date LOL

    You are brave to cut it short and be honest. I have to admit I might not have been able to do that to his face. It’s so much better to just be up front, but I know I would have wanted to pretend it was fine until I was gone and could cut him loose in text format. I know, what a punk. But I am taking notes, and I think this applies to everything, not just dating.

    I would rather hear the truth then have someone feel like they are doing me a favor, you know how you do. You do more than you think is fair, and you say nothing, and then you are resentful. You end up feeling like this person owes you one, when really you should have just said hey, I don’t feel like it or no. Like Madeline said sometimes trying to be nice is really not nice at all. The nicest thing you could have done for this man was let him know how you felt in a polite way, which you did. I like your whole I’m the one interviewing you attitude. I need to adopt that for job interviews. Prospective employers smell desperate just like women do, and your whole confident, I’m checking you out not the other way around approach is what I need. Keep it coming, this is good stuff.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Don’t turn your Date into a Bro-fest! | Spread Information

  3. Marla B. says:

    Someone ( I don’t know who) linked your page to me. Loved it! I wanted to share this with you…off my page…enjoy!
    http://marlasgimmeaminute.wordpress.com/2010/02/07/how-to-get-a-date/

    Like

  4. Pingback: Don’t turn your Date into a Bro-fest! | Madeline Scribes

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