When Girls talk about and to Women

by Madeline Laughs

Two of my girlfriends and I were sitting around one afternoon talking about a female enigma we knew. She was kind of cute, but didn’t have a very pretty face. She did have a hot body, but she had an awful personality. She wasn’t very nice to people.

But the men! It seemed that every man that dated her became obsessed. They couldn’t live without her. They didn’t want to let her go. She bewitched them! 

Her past lovers, which were numerous, would all stand around on the deck at our favorite bar and when her name would come up you could see them physically change. Their shoulders would droop a little, their eyes would glaze over, and in quiet voices usually reserved for church, they would sing her praises. “That was the best sex I ever had in my life.” “I ain’t never!” “Good gawd that woman turned me inside out.” “I love my girlfriend, but if that woman would just give me another chance…” Shaking their heads, wanting to cry into their warmed cans of PBR, remembering a night of wanton sex and animal lust. Then they would stand in a moment of silence as her spirit passed through each of them.

It was pathetic.

We didn’t get it.

“What in the world does she do to them?! She must have some serious juju going on down there in her *restricted square!” We all giggled. “I wonder what it’s made of!” my girlfriend blustered. “Well” I said, wanting to make sure I picked the most precious of all things, “Mine is made of platinum! What’s yours made of?” My other girlfriend piped up quickly wanting to win the game, “Mine is made of gold! And once a month it has a dusting of rubies!” “Yes!” I yelled and we both laughed loudly!

We noticed that our other comrade in arms was strangely quiet on the other side of the table. We both looked at her. She had her head bowed, her eyelids were halfway closed and there was a sultry smile on her face. “So?” we both asked her “What’s yours made of?” She tilted her head up slightly, grinned and said “Mine?” she purred, “Mine is made of melted butter.” And she gave a throaty chuckle.

My other girlfriend and I stared at her with wide eyes. We didn’t laugh. We were processing what she said. Imagining it. Then the two of us were nodding our heads beginning to understand. We let loose the most reverent of all sounds a girl can make when she’s talking to a woman. It was low and awestruck and musical. It was;

“Ooooooooo.”

*borrowed phrase from a friend 🙂 you know who you are!!

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in Memories good and bad and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to When Girls talk about and to Women

  1. Regyna Longlank says:

    Ha ha. Rain deGrey was on Twitter saying hers smells like a grilled cheese sandwich, and asking what everyone else smelled like.

    Like

  2. My sister-in-law and I were talking about how much fun it would be if everyone’s vagina smelled like their nationality. Now this was a fun discussion except being Greek it would totally blow if your vagina smelled like feta cheese and being Scottish I don’t know that if smelling like Haagus would be much better. But Haagus does smell kind of good when it’s cooking. Perhaps smelling like Scotch whiskey would be better. We deduced that Latina ladies would be jalapeno, Italians would be garlic and Asian Indians would be curry. But my sister-in-law was adamant about one thing “If they smoke cigarettes, they smell like cigarettes because trust me, on a smoker everything smells like cigarettes.”

    That is soooo not true 😛

    Like

  3. Grilled cheese? We had those for lunch and for the life of me I can’t remember what they smelled like. They didn’t smell bad, I do remember that because I don’t eat stinky grilled cheese sandwiches 🙂 Well, Go Rain!

    Like

  4. Pingback: I wonder if she knows… | Spread Information

  5. Pingback: I wonder if she knows… | Madeline Scribes

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