Whatever happened to Him?

by Single Not Desperate

Puppy Love Plate from Sodahead.com

This is an update on one of the past dates that I’ve written about. Do you remember The Chase is Thrilling blog post I did not long ago? It was all about the guy that became clingy and swore his undying love to me and became stalkarazzi in my neighborhood.

Well, he’s engaged to be married now. 

I know! That was sure fast on his part wasn’t it? I was kind of shocked!

What kind of person does this? How do some people fall in and out of love so quickly? Is it even possible?

It takes a certain personality type to fall in love like a rock falling into a ravine. What you should always be aware of is that this person isn’t actually falling in love with you. They are falling in love with being in love. It really has nothing at all to do with you.

When someone tells you they love you on Date#3, Beware! The insecurities are boundless in this individual and they are as prone to puppy love as a teenager. Most likely their own level of maturity is stunted for some reason. They have no idea that what they’re doing is inappropriate for their age. It seems like they just can’t help themselves. The needy level is high and no human being will ever fill the void they have.

They don’t take break-ups well either 🙂

My best advice is to let them find themselves some place else. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment, this one needs to be thrown back.

Fall in Like first. Get to know the person first. Allow love to blossom like a rose rather than shoot up like a weed.

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Whatever happened to Him?

  1. When my ex told me he loved me in the middle of, you know, on about our third date, I just assumed it was popping out of his mouth out of long habit with his not-yet-completely-ex-wife, and completely ignored it. Several years later, I was stunned to find out he had actually *meant* it for me! WTF?

    I mean, I was falling for him too, but three dates? That is *not* love at that point, and if they think it actually is, it’s danger Will Robinson!

    It apparently came out of his mouth towards my replacement during their week-long first date, and she was all stars and hopes and dreams for the future. He promptly replaced her a few months later. Three collars in less than a year and a half. Gee, how special.

    Dudes, it’s not *possible* to actually be in love that fast. It’s also not sane. It’s called “lust” at that point, end of story. Limerance.

    Unsurprisingly, once “in love” turned into actual love on my part, he no longer thought it was so special .


    • Regyna Longlank says:

      I think people may not understand what a collar is, certainly this man did not. Outside simple collar play, used as a symbol of commitment, the least it can mean is equivalent to an engagement ring. Not to be entered into lightly, it is a powerful ritual. You cannot pick and choose which parts of it you would like to partake in, it is total dedication and devotion to another, to each other, and that is also missed. To Each Other. A lifetime commitment just as binding as a marriage. Probably not something you want to invoke before you actually know the person, definitely not something you use to get sex and then toss aside when it no longer pleases you.

      Sadly the man you describe is not alone in his misconception. Like anything the protocol becomes watered down as it becomes more popular and acceptable to sexual tourists. He will play this game until one day he finds he has fallen hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t care about him, and then he will know. He will hurt like we all do and he will finally be sorry but it will be too late. You will probably never know, never see it, never hear him say how badly he feels about the way he treated you. But he will know, and one day he will understand.

      Life does that to you, it breaks you where you are proud, crushes you where you are out of integrity. Rest assured the day will come when he knows what love really is, because love finds all of us in the end, breaks our hearts and blows open our defenses and suddenly the game is very, very real and it’s not funny anymore. It’s inevitable really, the human condition I suppose. I take comfort in this, and try to focus on healing myself. Some days it is a cold comfort, but it is what I have, what I will allow myself, and it is enough. Thank you for sharing your story with me, it helps to know I’m not alone.


  2. Pingback: Dating in Reality | Madeline Scribes

  3. My ex “fell in love” very quickly, about 3 weeks into the relationship. Tears and all, “he’d thought he’d been in love before but that was before he met me”. My guts said TOO SOON! But he was so good to me and I thought why not? OMG 10yrs later I am finally rid of him. Number #1 without fail trait of a narcissist is they fall in love quickly!
    The last year we were together I know of 5 women he was “in love” with including me (who he was living with), a married woman and the one he is with now.
    If a guy says I love you in the first month RUN! And don’t look back!


  4. Pingback: Dating in Reality | Madeline Scribes

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