Dating Someone’s Ex

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.

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by Single Not Desperate

I’m not saying never date someone’s ex, I’m saying be aware that this is what you’re doing. In reality, you’ll probably always be dating someone’s ex. There’s several different kinds of exes though and each one has it’s own special land mines. I’m going to talk about two of them today.

The Divorced Ex is particularly sensitive. This is someone that had legally committed to stay in a relationship. Most likely there will be children involved. When you’re dating a divorced ex you’ll want to ask pointed questions about the divorce, like how fresh it is and if they are mortal enemies. A fresh divorce that was excessively brutal does not bode well for you. I’d give that one another six months. 

The Long Term Dating Ex is another one that can either be very good or very, very bad. That depends on who had the idea to stop dating. There’s no divorce involved, but it can sure seem like some kind of legal something should be in place when some folks stop dating after being a couple for so long.

I recently had to deal with the Long Term Dating Ex.

He is a good guy, solid gold. He treated her like she was his queen and did all of the right things. And she was a white trash skank that cheated on him repeatedly and picked fights every chance she got.

They would break up and get back together so many times you could see a path beaten in the grass of their relationship. Every time they fought and broke up he was always the one that gave in “I sure wish she and I could work this out. I really want to do right by her.”

Every time they broke up I would make subtle hints that I was interested and he never took me up on it.So I settled for being his friend. We are definitely great friends.

This last time they seemed to really be done. He was totally over it “That’s it! I don’t care what she does!” He had never seemed this final about it. I was fed up too, so I told him “Good! Because I’m tired of being in the friend zone. If you’re ready to put it on the table, you better be serious.” I think it shocked him. And he asked me out on a date.

Our first date was so nice! Because we’re great friends we never ran out of things to talk about and there weren’t any awkward moments. At the end of the date he was a gentleman and walked me to my door. I even got a peck on the lips. I floated over the threshold that night.

Our second date was even better!

And then it happened. He got quiet. No texts. Not taking my calls. Same old, same old. He was talking to her again.

The break up was too fresh. There were unresolved matters, feelings, fights. He was still dealing with the “relationship” from hell.

That’s okay.

Some men like bad women. They feel like this is what they deserve, even when it’s not. If he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be with a good woman and deserves to be treated with respect and love, then he really isn’t ready to be with me. And that is just the way it has to be for now.

The problem is that when he finally wakes up and realizes what he could have with me, I might have found my Prince Charming and won’t be available anymore.

Until then, I’m back in the friend zone.

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Dating Someone’s Ex

  1. Pingback: I wanna go to Daddy’s, and you can’t come! | Spread Information

  2. Pingback: New dating rules: Love ‘em, use ‘em, figure it out « My Blog

  3. Jo La says:

    The divorce ex to me is the worse. You are constantly trying to prove you are not their ex. You are constantly compared to them.


    • When you run into this kind of situation, the divorced person has re-entered the dating market too soon and has unresolved issues. My advice would be to end the relationship and maybe revisit it in another year or so. And suggest that your friend get counseling in the meantime. Good luck out there!


  4. Pingback: I wanna go to Daddy’s, and you can’t come! | Madeline Scribes

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