I wanna go to Daddy’s, and you can’t come!

by Single Not Desperate
is this a self help group, or a legal practice...

Image via Wikipedia

Dating when you have children, especially small ones, can be difficult. Dating someone with children, especially small ones, can be equally difficult. How do you manage this delicate situation?

I found myself in a predicament recently when my new paramour brought his 3 year old daughter along on one of our outings. She made it very apparent that I was an intrusion on their day. Hiding behind his pants leg she clearly stated, as only a 3 year old can, “I want to go home to my Daddy’s house and I don’t want you to come.” Yes, this made me feel like a million bucks. Especially when Daddy didn’t correct her. 

Out of the mouths of babes.

I have a young daughter too. When I decided to start dating I knew I would need ground rules when it came to introducing her to potential love interests. I did not want her intermingled with someone that I felt would not be around for the long haul. So to date, she’s only met two of my dates.

What do the experts and self help groups have to say on this topic?

I found this on DivorceHelpForParents.com;

  • How will my children be affected by my decision to date?

    Every child will react in his or her own way to a parent’s dating after the divorce. And as has been stated many times on this site, knowing your child will always help you better understand what may be going on for him/her.

The research does offer some information about how children in general are affected by parental dating after divorce.

  • When a parent begins dating, a child’s hope that his/her parents will reunite is shattered.
  • Your child must now share you – which isn’t so easy to do.
  • It is very awkward for children to adjust to having an adult who is not their parent acting in a parenting role.
  • Children often experience loyalty conflicts between biological parents and new partners.
  • Children fear future rejection if the new relationship doesn’t last.

On a more positive note, parental dating after divorce can also offer benefits to children.

  • Happier parents in better moods.
  • A role model of a happy adult relationship.
  • New people who care about them.

They even give a good age range listing on how you should explain dating to your child depending on what age they are. I would definitely check them out.

Every situation is unique, so you should manage your situation the way you see fit. There is no one way to do this, but do your best. There are so many more positive than negative gains from expanding your family by looking for a new mate. Good luck out there!

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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