by Madeline Laughs
There is a place within all of us that only gets touched on the rarest of occasions. It is buried so deep inside that you hope you never have to dig down far enough to find it. Some people never do find it. Some people live there for the rest of their days.
This place is a dark, damp hole full of despair, pain and suffering. You are alone and defeated. No one will come to your rescue. No one wants to join you. They only want you to pretend that you’ve taken a vacation from their lives so they don’t have to touch the thing that scares them the most. That dank hole they also carry, tamped deep, untouched, unloved and necessary, but evil.
To hurt beyond feeling any more pain is numbness. You become dark and you pray your chest will stop heaving with sobs. It erases any thought of happiness, and it only wants your own heart to stop beating. It wills the blood in your veins to be still and quiet so that you might find solace in being no one, in feeling nothing and going no where.
To go there and to make it back isn’t always part of the journey. Those that do traverse this rugged terrain and rejoin us on this side again are truly miracles.
I know a few of these people.
I am one.
They are miracles.
The next time you feel a loss that pierces you to your marrow, stop a moment and experience that place within you. You can only fear what you do not know and understand. So marvel at the strength it has to twist you into oblivion. Respect that within you is also the ending of you. To know this place within your soul is to know how precious and fragile your life can be. To feel this darkness wash over you is to know that your power is limitless and you only need you in order to make it out alive.
Depend on yourself.
Love yourself and all that is you.
Dig deep, dig often, strike gold.