Getting off on Facebook

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Single Not Desperate

When I decided to get back into the local dating scene and used up every resource available on, one of my girlfriends suggested I join one of her dating groups on Facebook. Facebook? There are dating groups on there? Yes, there sure are! The one I’m a member of is marked secret, so in order to get in, you have to know someone already a member.  

It was a fun group! There are all kinds of conversations going between different people and when a post is commented on it rises to the top of the list, so you never really have to go looking for what’s new. People post music videos, poetry, interesting stuff they find on the net and they chat.

Late at night the chats tend to go a little off color. I was transfixed by this and even joined in the fun. That’s how I met Benjamin (not his real name). He sent me a friend request and soon after that he started inviting me to private chats with him.

My chats with Benjamin in the beginning were fairly tame compared to what I had witnessed in the private world of the group. I was shocked at just how desperate a few of these single women sounded and I wasn’t about to lower myself to that level. One woman even commented that she was masturbating during the chat. I think that was about the time I decided I should log out. I don’t know if she was kidding or not.

The one thing you should all be aware of is that Facebook is really all about exhibitionism. From posting your status to pictures, you are on display. “Hot chatting” is just another part of this same aspect. Some people enjoy being the ones putting on the show, while others enjoy watching.

Benjamin and I started chatting just about every night until one night he asked for my number. I gave it to him thinking he’d probably never call, but he did call. So now we were chatting and we were talking. I thought things were progressing nicely. We realized we lived close by so we were talking about getting together soon and having a real date. We had a lot in common and we never ran out of things to talk about either. This was way better than!

Everyday I would log on to check my messages. He always sent something to me saying Good Morning or just Hi and every morning I would see that one of the desperadoes, as I started calling them, Anne, had gone over his profile page with a fine tooth comb and Liked or commented on every single post. On the dating group page she had done the same. Every single thing he posted bore her name in some fashion, or another. I had never in my life seen anything like it!

Let me tell you something ladies. If you feel you have to lift your leg and piss in every corner of a man’s Facebook profile, then you’re probably a little desperate. While he might be feeling pretty good about all that attention at first, eventually he’s going to figure out just how needy and demanding you really are, because that’s what needy, demanding, codependent women do. They smother men. They take over every corner he lets them in.

Well, this annoyed me a little so I said something to him about it. He blew it off and said she was just a friend. I didn’t think this was much of an answer. My girlfriends warned me that he was probably more friendly with this girl than he led me to believe. Seriously! You would want to believe that women would never act like that unless they were told it was okay, or they’re already dating the guy, right? So I let it go.

Benjamin continued to ask me to chat privately and I did. He liked it when I got a little frisky with him online, but I kept it decent. I just think some things are better done in person and that’s one of them.

During one heated late night chat with the group, Anne started targeting Benjamin “Hey honey! When are you coming over?” And he went along with it. He claimed later that he was just kidding and he liked to flirt, but it was nothing serious. Yeah, like I was buying that load of horse shit.

Let me tell you something ladies. If you have to talk dirty to a man in a public forum then you have no idea of what being sexy is. If the man encourages this, then it’s likely he’s just a loser. It’s okay to be flirtatious, but show some manners.

Soon I realized that they would disappear shortly after these chats for periods of time. I assumed they were having a private chat. But when I found out what they were really doing, I stopped chatting privately with Benjamin. In fact, I don’t have anything to do with Benjamin anymore.

Yes, Anne and Benjamin were chatting but they were also sharing a mutual jack off on Facebook. That’s right folks! Facebook is the new and improved, high speed masturbation tool. Find a desperate, lonely woman, a loser guy, add some electrical current and you got yourself a modern day tv dinner complete with the happy ending.

Benjamin still tries to ask me out, but I decided that this kind of behavior adds nothing to my dating life. If you want to jack off to some lame text box in Facebook on a computer screen, then have fun. Who knows? Maybe they’ve graduated to video chat. A woman like that has no scruples, no morals and absolutely no self respect. He’ll soon find out that she’s going to wear the pants and control every move he makes.

This girl wants a man that can control himself until the time is right and that is when he’s with me, not in a chat room.

I’m still single, but I’m happy to keep looking for that special guy and not settling for a loser. Finding him in a chat room or an online group might not be the best place for me to keep looking. Later ladies!!

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Facebook Advice and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Getting off on Facebook

  1. Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) says:

    I hesitate to reply since I have a one eye picture (but seriously, I only did that because we had fun painting jungle images on our faces one day) but, oh well–judge me if you will. I just wanted to say Ewwwww! I’m glad you have enough self respect to recognize that you deserve much better than that.


  2. It appears she edited that part out 🙂 There are several one eyed profile pictures on Facebook, but we reminded her that sometimes people just like to be anonymous. And we like your picture!


  3. Rex Ryan says:

    Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.


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