by Madeline Laughs
Take your hand and place it over my heart. Breath in and breath out, pressing your hand against my flesh so that you feel my heart breaking through your palm. So close you can inhale my exhalation. A whisper of what was me inside of you now.
It dips down into the most private parts of you and settles all cold, lucid, aware of you, latching on, spreading out. Nudging you beyond your sanity. Inviting you in and wrapping you in an icy grip of despair. You feel the tattered ribbons tightening around your toes and clinging to your waist.
It mists your eyes and dampens your cheeks with tears. With bittersweet drops, it hardens your edges and slimes your soul. It makes you forget to forget. It takes away your happiness, your freedom, your judgement.
Grief will own you. Push you past your tender, sensitive moments and strip away your vanity and your pride. The ending blush of skin. Trickle of teardrops run down your face. The rush of warmth to your face, the thickening of your blood, the need that begs to be touched by a whisper, by a promise.
It will torment every dream and you will twist and whorl. Hopeless and crazed for the taste of numbness on your lips. Tangled in the tendrils and helpless to it’s whimsy.
Until you give in.
Dovetail with doom feeling the clamminess of skin. Pushing against, pushing aside, pushing away. Everything becomes one thing and becomes nothing. Nothing more exists except the need to belong. And you hold on. Afraid to let loose. Focus on that tiny point somewhere in the cosmos that screams your name and begs in fevered earnestness for your primal self to claw it’s way back to the surface.
Digging in with your nails, you cling. Making fast with your teeth, you connect. Encircling with your limbs, you enclose, you immerse, you disgust, you own.
Every secret is exposed.
You are bare, you are raw, you are vulnerable.
As two become one, become two, become none. Your existence no longer sustained in the centrifugal force of each other. Plummeting back to earth in a pitch high above the stars, far below the moon and as scorching hot as the sun.
I lay on my tiny, empty belly. I close my eyes and cry into the soft grass beneath my cheek. I raise my diminutive, delicate wings to the sky and rub them together making sad, melancholy music, like the bow slowly caressing the strings of a Stradivarious. It is a song heard by many, but answered by none, but I will keep playing, even as I sleep. I will dream and the world will stand guard, for there is nothing so poignant as the sound of a passionless ending.
It is sad here.
Here without you.
Can you feel the beat of my broken heart now?
Dedicated to my friend who said “Love is like obscenity. I can’t describe it, but I know it when I see it.”
- ~Purpose, Passion & Living with Authenticity (spiritusilentium.wordpress.com)
- Passion Untamed by Pamela Palmer (urbangirlbookreviewer.wordpress.com)
- Why can’t the moon be a ball? How you see things can change everything. (mynewfavoriteday.com)
- Pit tragedy ‘desperately sad’, says David Cameron (independent.co.uk)
- Where regrets live and passion is buried (belleranis.wordpress.com)
- Have you lost your FIRST love? (nathangilreath.wordpress.com)
- What is a force that is opposite to the force of gravity (wiki.answers.com)