by Madeline Laughs
We’ve all been there. You stand on the outside and watch as one of your girlfriends is slowly sucked down the rabbit hole by a known player. What should you do? Decency tells us we should step up and tell the woman about her man’s cheating ways. but seldom does decency play a part in this production. Most of us just continue to sit in the audience and watch as the drama unfolds.
I had an interesting conversation with one of my girlfriends about this phenomenon. Like me, she’s pretty outspoken and she told me that usually she has no qualms telling the woman “Hey, your man is screwing around on you and lying to your face.” And usually the women take the news to heart and change their circumstances for the better by dumping the louse. There is one place, she tells me, that this kind of assistance is not only frowned upon, but if you step up, be prepared to be knocked back down and hard.
That place would be your local watering hole, the neighborhood bar. Alcohol tends to dull even your keenest senses, but in matters of the heart, it makes them completely stupid and irrational. The inebriated can be a fickle and most unpredictable bunch. Here’s a scenario…
You show up on a night when most of your friends will be out celebrating the week. You see a couple of your friends. I say friends, these are more like acquaintances you see out occasionally, but you’re all friendly.
Oh look! One of your friends is in a newly minted relationship! Jolly goodness for him! You had worried a bit about him since he broke up with his long time girlfriend last year. That woman had been good for him in many ways and added a lot of positivity to his life, though the relationship strained at the seams and he wanted his freedom.
His freedom had seen him in and out of some questionable predicaments with a woman whose reputation as a man-eater was well known. You were glad to see him dating someone that was nice for a change.
The evening is going well when the man-eater enters the watering hole. She slides across the beer stained carpet in your friend’s direction. You see her forked tongue slither in and out of her scaly lips and hear an audible hisssss travel across the room. Your friend looks up and his eyes glaze over like a deer in headlights as she whips her tail back and forth hypnotically to seduce him. She slides to a corner of the room and curls herself into a chair and waits for her prey to acquiesce.
Meanwhile his new girlfriend is Chatty Kathy with a draft in her hand happily socializing and basking in her new-found love. She adores him and has made the rounds not once, but twice, and told everyone she can’t live without him.
Well, you think to yourself, Chatty Kathy better get ready to live without him because he’s about to be the victim of a poisonous snake bite.
This particular scenario has two possible conclusions. One would be what I described above where the woman has a brain and chooses life over antivenin. The other is what will most likely happen if this plays out in the bar.
If you’re going to be decent, the first thing you need to do is find out what your friend is thinking. In this case he’s thinking “Man, if that Man-eater wanted to constrict me, I’d dump Chatty Kathy in a heartbeat!” I think the glazed look in his eyes should be the dead giveaway. You could tell him how stupid he is and warn him that your next observation will be shared with Chatty, or you could just go have a chat with Chatty.
Either way the outcome will be the same…you will end up being the villain. You will end up being the person that tried to break apart Chatty’s new-found love. You will be to blame for the drunken amber ale rage he’ll be subjected to in the parking lot out front before they even get in the car to go home. He will be embarrassed and hate you for it. She will be enraged and hate you for it and the Man-eater will slither on to her next meal without a thought or a care of the havoc she just rained down on your circle of friends.
When folks start shooting the messenger, bad relationships and all their drama become a spectator sport. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news anymore. So sit back, order another beer and marvel at the intimate intricacies evolving before your eyes. The local watering hole can hold many dark surprises and teach us many valuable lessons in the art of deceit and treachery, but it can also teach one lesson that seems to elude most people…the art of being grateful that in our own lives we can avoid this kind of heartache by knowing the person we share our lives with. Take off your beer goggles and assess your relationship and if he smells like snake, he’s probably been with a snake.
I have one very smart friend and I thank her for sharing her insight and giving me something to think about and to write about.
Until next time, cheers! This one’s on me!
- Confessions of A Hermit (MKMMA Week 7) (grandmakitty.wordpress.com)
- Man Eater (humblemurderer.wordpress.com)
- Man-Eater: Stedman Was Scrapping With “Secret Lovers” To Get Oprah Back In The Day?? (bossip.com)