The RabbitHole called Facebook

Photograph of the Mad Hatter and the March Har...

Photograph of the Mad Hatter and the March Hare in 1910 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

by Madeline Laughs

The Mad Hatter: There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.
[picks up his hat]
The Mad Hatter: Which luckily I am.

I think that there should be a separate section on Facebook for people that have decided to have life changing extreme fake makeovers. They could have a whole partitioned segment of the Facebook experience all to themselves and rub elbows with like minded individuals that are doing the exact same thing. They could called it RabbitHoleBook because anyone daring to enter would have to sign a disclaimer that they knew they were going to be lied to and mentally abused and could not hold anyone responsible since it was their choice to click that Enter button.

Blue Caterpillar: I can’t help you if you don’t even know who you are, stupid girl.

But where would the fun in that be for the folks that enjoy sharing their lunacy with the innocent and gullible people, like me? I’ll admit that I have had a full fledged education and trial by fire with fake profiles and with bold faced liars on Facebook. I had never seen anything like it until last year. I thought I knew someone and I trusted them. Then they took a fake trip to Afghanistan. That’s about how it ends up. You finally realize you’re a chump when they Skype you and tell you they’re right in the middle of a gun fight with a bunch of rebels. “Hold on while I chop this guy’s arm off with a machete! Okay! I’m back! How was your day?

Cheshire Cat: How’s the arm, love?

The Red Queen: Never mind him. He’s mad.

I was accused of having a fake profile once. At the time it made me laugh out loud because where did I find the time to do that? Why would I even bother? Unlike someone that has no interest in letting anyone know what they’re really thinking,  I will get right in your face with my opinion.

The Mad Hatter: Down with the bloody Red Queen!

I have recently discovered that you can change your name on Facebook. I’ve had some fun with that, but I must warn anyone thinking it’s a game you can keep playing. One of my friends that I unwittingly led astray is now suffering with a name that she doesn’t like anymore and, unfortunately, (innocent-I-didn’t-know-face) it’s a moniker I came up with. (I apologize Princess Sparkle Puff! Please forgive me!) On Facebook you are only allowed to change your name a set amount of times. They do not tell you this! They do not warn you that you are using your last name chip! They tell you after the fact that you are now destined to be Princess Sparkle Puff for the life of your Facebook experience! The only remedy is to make a whole new account.

White Rabbit: Well. If it isn’t the *wrong* Alice.

I applaud the ingenuity of some of the fake profiles I’ve seen. I’m not talking about people with funny last names so creeps on Facebook can’t look them up in the phone book and go to their house. I’m talking about full on fakes. Fake name, fake history, fake jobs and even a few fake family members thrown in to comment on their posts when other people ignore them.

The Mad Hatter: Yes, yes-but you would have to be half-mad to dream me up.

I wrote about a notorious culprit on more than one occasion. I even got to talk to her on the phone a few times. In the beginning I really liked her. She was funny and I had the best time with her, but her pathology had an agenda and it had nothing to do with being liked. I found that out too late. I was already sucked way down the rabbithole along with several other friends and when her truth came out a lot of people were hurt and disappointed.

The Red Queen: You’re right, Stayne. It is far better to be feared than loved.

But you know what? If she popped up again and confessed her transgressions, these good people would welcome her back into the fold with open arms! Myself included! That’s just how adept she was at manipulation and deceit. She left behind an indelible mark on everyone she came into contact with. She was devastatingly lovable and tragic.

Stayne – Knave of Hearts: Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!

Her story has intrigued me almost to obsession. The amount of details she shared with several different people in private. The numerous fake names she reintroduced herself to the same group of friends with and the made up tales of hardship and personal crisis she suffered weekly were the stuff of fiction novels you might be made to read in school.

Alice Kingsley: I’ve been shrunk, stretched, scratched and stuffed into a teapot!

If the RabbitHoleBook had a monarchy, she would be Queen.

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter’s temperature]
Alice Kingsley: I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

I am currently writing a chapter story right here on Madeline Laughs entitled Socially Distorted and it is loosely based on my history with this person. I know that I refer to the personality as a woman, but the truth is that I have no idea if she is a woman, a man, or something else entirely not of this world.

I will be visiting some of the places she spoke to all of us about before she disappeared from our sight. I hope to share a pictorial glimpse for those that know the story, not as a reader, but as her Facebook friends once, so they can have some kind of small closure in their own minds that some of the places she talked about will most definitely be real for them, even though she never was and probably never could be.

She is still very active on Facebook. She shares very little of her personal life unless she is doing it in private, away from the prying eyes of people like me that wish to know who she really is and what she really looks like. In my mind she is still that 27 year old blonde riding a huge stallion down the beach in search of her own righteous indignation, leaving the broken hearts of older men in her wake and taking the secrets of the women that confided in her on the ride of their lives.

The RabbitHoleBook will remain a place in my mind and in it I will store the profiles that tell tall tales that delight and entertain us for the moments we choose to spend online allowing them to share. It will be the place I store my memories of the Irish lass named Darby that swore to me that if she had to choose sides, I would be the friend she would keep.

Cheshire Cat: What do you call yourself?
Alice Kingsley: Alice.
Cheshire Cat: *The* Alice?
Alice Kingsley: There’s been some debate about that.
Cheshire Cat: I never get involved in politics.

I know she still has my phone number. I’ll be in her neighborhood this April. Perhaps she could call me and we could have some tea and sympathy and for once we could be what I always was with her…we could be real.

The March Hare: You’re all late for tea!

~all Alice in Wonderland quotes are courtesy of….thank you!

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
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1 Response to The RabbitHole called Facebook

  1. Pingback: Insanity – Chapter 4 | Madeline Scribes

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