by Madeline Laughs
One huge time suck I tend to clear out of my life now, are liars. They are a big waste of time and energy and as long as people keep believing their lies, they will never change.
There is this one guy that I knew growing up and reconnected with as friends on Facebook later in life. I never knew he was a pathological liar back then. Maybe that’s because my real friends always protected me from him when I was younger. When he expressed an interest in the younger me, my friends told him that I was off-limits, out of his league, and to leave me alone. Thank goodness for that because this guy could have ruined my life like he ruined so many other people’s lives since. But now I had no one stepping in and warning me, until it was too late. By the time anyone knew I was friends with the pathological liar again, I had already bought into all of his lies. I believed everything he told me.
I call liars time sucks because you end up doing a lot of research trying to wade through the bullshit they tell you. Trying to decipher what’s true from what’s not can send you into a tailspin of keystrokes. I finally realized that when someone lies as much as a pathological liar tends to, you can’t believe anything they say. Not a word of anything they tell you has even a glimmer of truth in it. It’s easier just to stop talking to them and cut them out of your life than it is to expect them to ever be honest about anything.
A recent example is from the pathological liar I knew. He told people he was having surgery on his knee. He was back on Facebook in less than 24 hours after the dramatic exit where he claimed the doctors were shutting down his computer for him. There were all kinds of well wishes and pats on the back from his Facebook friends, which is really what he was after. It wasn’t about having a surgery, it was about getting attention.
Oh it gets better. Keep reading. Either he’s a miraculous healer, or he lied about the knee surgery.
Then a week later, maybe 5 days later, he disappears from Facebook for a few days and comes back claiming he was backpacking in the mountains where he lives, hunting elk. He says his Indian tribe friends and he packed into the wild with mules. Rugged terrain and snowfall and boy, weren’t they just tough guys! He even posted beautiful pictures that he claims he took, of their journey up the mountain. His Facebook friends were awestruck and admiring of his trip and ewwwwed and ahhhhed that he was so lucky to get to do stuff like this.
Really? They bought that load of crap? For real?
Knee surgery requires rehab and it doesn’t happen in a week’s time. There’s no way he packed into the mountains on a mule, much less walked to the 7-11 a block from his apartment for a pack of smokes. But I don’t even need that truth to tell me he’s a liar. The pictures he posted of his trip were all stolen from another woman’s Flickr page. A woman he does not even know.
See what I mean? It’s a big waste of time to think you’re worthy of being told the truth when your friend is a pathological liar. Nothing this particular guy tells you is ever true. Not even one word. He lies about everything, especially if it involves leaving his apartment. The guy sits in his small apartment day in and day out, and makes up lies to tell people on Facebook. He never goes anywhere, except to the grocery store to spend his food stamps.
I can call him a pathological liar, but the truth is that this person is a sociopath and deeply disturbed. Don’t ever make the mistake of taking pity on him though. That opens the door for him to take advantage of you if he can. Pity is a tool in his toolbox and if he can make you feel sorry for him then he can continue to suck you in. What gets him off is seeing that you believe him. That’s all it takes.
There is only one solution to dealing with a person like this. Cut them off. Have absolutely no contact with them at all.
But what about your friends? What about the people you’re leaving behind that still think this guy is awesome? You can warn your friends about him until you’re blue in the face, but if they are under his sociopathic spell, they’ll never listen to you. They have to find the truth out for themselves and only then will they finally come to the same conclusion you did and that is to have no further contact with him. Until then when they bring him up, just remind them that he’s a liar and you aren’t interested in hearing about his lies.
Is there anything at all you can do to help your friends figure him out sooner, before they get hurt? Sure there’s plenty of things you can show them, but it’s up to them to do it. Teach them ways to check up on what he’s telling them, like reverse image searching, or how to use Google, and just hope that soon their eyes will be opened to the amount of time they are wasting by continuing to enable this sociopath by believing him.
How do you deal with a sociopath and pathological liar? The answer is simple. You don’t. You simply walk away and you never look back. Cut off all contact and leave no possibility for them to ever feel they have a chance to come back into your life.
There’s no need to even be polite about it. Be firm and be strong. Don’t make your exit another episode of enabling by leaving quietly either. You aren’t obligated one bit to keep the guy’s secrets about being a liar and a sociopath! The louder you are about your reasons for cutting him off, the better the chances are that your friends will snap out of their hypnotic state and consider making an exit too. Be loud, be clear and provide proof if you want to. Call the guy a liar and make sure all of your real friends hear you shouting. And then SLAM that door as hard as you possibly can, right in the asshole’s face.
What makes some people tell outrageous lies like this guy does? I can tell you that lying is NOT a mental illness. It has nothing to do with how his brain is wired, or having an extra chromosome, or needing medication and therapy. It simply means he has no morals and no conscience. It’s a character flaw and that’s something he has complete control over and can change.
But as long as he has believers and followers, he’s going to keep right on serving the tainted, poisonous koolaid and the metaphorical mass suicides will continue.
- Mitt Romney Is A Pathological Liar (democracyforum.blogspot.com)
- Dicks With Huge Egos (eatcaketoo.wordpress.com)
- BHO: The ways of a sociopathic liar (wnd.com)
- Beware of this person (frautuazon.wordpress.com)
- The Truth About Liars (healnowtherapyhypnosis.blogspot.com)
- Pathetic, Pathological Liars (krazykillers.wordpress.com)