by Madeline Laughs
Every January I like to go back in time and re-read some of my older posts. Sometimes I’ll edit them and bring them up to date, and maybe even re-post them. But sometimes I’ll just read them and reflect on either how much I’ve grown, or how much I’ve stagnated.
This year I have definitely grown.
For two years it seemed all I did was question the way I was handling things. I was angry and figuring out why I was so mad all the time and what was causing it was a constant baffle to me. I apologized for my actions on a daily basis and found new ways to take ownership of how fucked up my life seemed.
I was awesome.
For the last year and a half I finally started figuring some stuff out and started making a plan. The “plan” did not take a real shape though until a few months ago. I hope anybody reading my progress was able to shorten their lead time to a better perspective by skipping over all the minutiae I went through to get there.
At least now I know who I authentically am. I knew who I was back then and have known myself pretty well for many years, but knowing who I am and what I will no longer stand for is a definite improvement.
I owe many of my personal epiphanies to some good friends.
People that stick by me, no matter what, and aren’t afraid to tell me the unsugarcoated truth. That’s the sign of a really good friend; someone who tells you the truth, rather than what you want to hear all the time.
Friends are people that continue to check you out and check in with you on a regular basis, not just when you’re on top of your game, or down on your luck. They like hearing your thoughts and best of all, they like sharing their thoughts with you because they know you’ll listen to them and really hear what they’re saying.
Friends are people that knew you when you were nobody and had nothing except maybe a car payment, but they loved you then as much as they love you now. It was never about what they thought they could get from you. It was only about being there whenever you came calling, and sometimes even when you never called. They just knew the love and friendship would always be there, no matter what and there was never a question about who they believed. They always took my side and they always had my back.
No matter what.
While some of them have passed on to the next journey we all must take someday, many of them are still a huge part of my life. I still have a lot of time left to be around them and to learn from them about this thing called Life and I look forward to it.
The best friends are the ones that can make you laugh and be silly, even in your darkest hour.
And I have those too.
Everyone that I choose to share my life with has the capacity to bring a smile to my face and if you’re lucky enough to have friends like that, then you have the world by the tail.
I owe my ability to question my own reasoning and to try to be a bit more logical and pragmatic to my best friend. He has always made me want to be a better person. Everyday I strive to be more like him, though I already know that I might never achieve that. At least I can look ahead and have a goal that is worthy of my time because he lets me know everyday that I’m worthy of his.
Until next year, when once again I take inventory of how my life has changed, this is Madeline Laughs wishing you the best year you can imagine and hoping we all continue to grow in leaps and bounds with a future filled with laughter and smiles.