Pathological Liars are not part of the average person’s daily life, but when we cross paths with one, it’s helps to know who they are, why they do it, and how to deal with them.
This affliction is something the medical community has researched. One study showed a biological difference in the brain tissue. A pathological liar tends to have at least 26% more fatty tissue in the brain.
So, they’re fatheads?
The medical term Pathological Liar doesn’t even stand alone as a mental illness. It is described as a defect in a person’s personality, but no one knows for sure if a PL has the ability to even control the lies he tells.
Psychotherapy is really not a good option, unless the patient agrees to be honest with his counselor. I have met the King of all Pathological Liars and I’m going to say that asking him to be honest with anyone, even someone trying to help him get healthy, is a stretch.
As far as the medical community is concerned, Pathological Lying remains a mystery. They aren’t sure why the person habitually lies and they have no real treatment that works. In fact, Pathological Lying is probably a small part of another very real mental illness such as Narcissistic ,Histrionic or Anti-Social Personality Disorders. It is also a part of the mind of a Sociopath. None of these disorders can successfully be treated or controlled by the medical community.
There are essentially two kinds of Pathological Liars.
One is a person that has addictive tendencies towards drugs and alcohol. Often they lie to fulfill their habits.
The other PL is simply an attention seeker. He lies about everything and will tell you the most outrageous stories in order to get and to keep your attention. His main goal is to manipulate you and keep your rapt attention focused solely on him.
Since the medical community has no surefire way to treat a Pathological Liar, it’s up to us to figure out how to deal with one if they have to be a part of our lives.
The overall advice I found when doing research online, was to avoid them. This is exactly what I personally tend to do. Once you realize that everything they have ever told you and the rest of your friends, are lies, then put as much distance between you and this person as quickly as you can.
Warn your friends and give them examples of lies the PL has told you so they can research it on their own to determine they have been lied to. Remember that a PL is also very charming and most people under their spell do not want to believe their friend is a liar.
I remember putting undisputed truth right in front of some folks, only to have them turn on me. “I like this guy and he’s a lot of fun! Why would I believe you when to me, he’s been a great time?” Um, maybe because nothing he’s told you is true? After a few instances like that, you learn to give them the tools to research it on their own. If they care that they are caught up in a web of lies, then they’ll go look and put some distance between themselves and the PL on their own.
You should also consider that some people just don’t care if the guy is a PL. He probably takes up a minuscule place in their lives. They see him as entertainment and never have any intention of giving him more than a laugh, or two, and will never take him seriously at all. If they aren’t in danger of being hurt by his deception, then don’t press them to act.
You will also find that a PL really doesn’t care how many people exit his life because he just moves on to a new group and starts all over again. Your exit from his life is merely a bump in the road.
If you try to press him to be honest by exposing his lies to your peer group, get ready for a fight. He will tell even more lies to explain why the lies you’re exposing aren’t really lies. He will have people so confused and rattled that they won’t know what is true and what’s not.
Don’t bother defending yourself.
The people that stick with him aren’t quality people and you’re better off without them. The intelligent people will see right through him and leave him behind on their own. Either way, you’re better off once the PL is shut out of your life and that’s what counts.
But if there is a PL that you can not avoid, like a sibling or a relative, then how do you handle them?
Distance is still an option, but prepare yourself for holiday family reunions. Know that anything they tell you about their lives is always going to be peppered with lies. Don’t allow them to manipulate you into doing anything for them, or giving them money.
The best advice I found if dealing with a Pathological Liar is something you can not avoid is to not take anything personally. Their lies aren’t about you. Their lies are about them and how they feel about themselves. Lying is their way of dealing with a reality they don’t think they deserve, but won’t do anything constructive to change.
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