by Madeline Laughs
You know the old saying “Blood is thicker than water“? It’s meaning is to instill a loyalty among family members. I have to tell you, if I ever had to make a choice between my own family members, you know the people I actually grew up with, and my own personal friends…my friends would win that lottery hands down every single time. My family will never take precedence over my friends, never.
I will pass over my own family to get to my friends.
The people I grew up around polluted me with so many fears and insecurities that I could spend the rest of my life trying to correct all of the flaws born out of their mistreatment of me. My own grandmother could turn me into a blubbering blob of Iamsuchaworthlesspieceofshitandwanttokillmyself after a two minute phone call.
The problem she had with me wasn’t that I was weak kneed and easy to push around and manipulate. She always spoke to me with the hard edge you would use with an adult. She would never tolerate any baby-talk or coddling, much less hugs and kisses or congratulations for anything. So that’s how I spoke back to her. She was okay with that, until I started using it against her. Then I was told I was a sassy smart ass.
She had no one to blame for the monster she created in me at a tender young age, except herself.
She did me a huge favor though. If I hadn’t emulated her gruff and abusive child rearing technique, she would have eaten me alive and I would have taken my own life years ago. It was that stubborn little girl in me, the one that refused to take her shit, and acted like a grown-up, that saved my life.
I was twenty five years old and sitting on the floor of my efficiency apartment bawling my eyes out after a particularly harsh phone conversation with her when it dawned on me “You know what? You don’t have to talk to her anymore! There’s no law that says you have to. There’s not even a commandment that says you have to!”
And that was the last conversation I ever had with her.
Twenty five years later when they called to tell me she had passed away, I didn’t even shed a tear. I tried to, but there were no more tears left in me for her. Not even twenty five years could erase my need to escape her and my elation to finally be free of her once I did escape.
The rest of my family isn’t much better.
Mainly because she ruled them all.
She was a bitter, hateful old bird that would put on this fake, helpless persona and tell people “I sure wish she’d call me. I miss her. If you talk to her please tell her I love her.” So they could call me up and try to lay a guilt trip on me for not going to visit the poor old lady. Then she would tell the next batch of visitors what an ungrateful little bitch I was and how much she was glad I left and stayed away. Of course, not one of them ever called to tell me she said that. I had to find that out through the family grapevine.
Yeah, good times.
And people wonder why I have such a bee in my bonnet over liars and sociopaths. Well it might be because I have known the Queen of Sociopathdom herself and I survived her, so the rest of them can kiss my ass because they can’t hold a candle to her psycho drama.
Blood is just blood. It doesn’t rule my heart and it never will. I’m happy as a clam over here swimming in the water with my friends.
- Home = Family [Weekly Photo Challenge] (mstonephotography.wordpress.com)
- Realise Blood Isn’t Thicker Than Water (howdoesitfeeltobe.com)
- Blood is thicker than water (alovelynewlife.wordpress.com)
- Is “blood thicker than water”? (mqueenbailey.wordpress.com)
- “Blood is Thicker Than Water and Other Misrepresentations of Family Life” (offthemerry-go-round.com)
- Weblog 3 (ashleyaliana.wordpress.com)
- Sisters (brokenrulesmagazine.com)
- More on Family Drama (heartandsoulperspectives.wordpress.com)