Sex and the Business Deal

by Madeline Laughs

venturaRULE #98: When your colleague uses sex and/or sex appeal to get new business for your company, always take the high road by refusing to do any job gained under these types of circumstances.

There’s nothing better first thing on a business morning than to get a call from your new colleague with the promise of a lucrative project. That is, until he describes how he got the job offer with, “I was making out with this woman last night that has a big house in the islands! Anyway she told me she’d fly me to her big house in the islands to do a project! Cool, huh? Do you think you can help me string her along and get the job without me having to actually sleep with her? Man, she’s real old! Man, she’s like a grandmother!” 

After you chastise your enthusiastic colleague for his very unprofessional behavior, try to salvage this as a legitimate business opportunity by setting up a conference call to gauge just how serious this job offer is.

If your conference calls goes anything like this:

You: So Granny, can you tell me anything about the project you’ve been discussing with Partner?

Granny: I’m so excited about what ya’ll are doing! I’m thinking Partner can come to my big house on the island and do this project and make lots of money!

You: What exactly is the project and who is in charge of making the arrangements?

Granny: I’m so excited about what ya’ll are doing! I’m thinking Partner can come to my big house on the island and do this project and make lots of money!

You: Okay, I get that part, but how will we be paid? How large can our crew be?

Granny: I’m so excited about what ya’ll are doing! I’m thinking Partner can come to my big house on the island and do this project and make lots of money!

You: Um, Partner, would you mind chiming in here and helping me explain some of the details of managing a project like this for Granny?

Partner: No probs! You see what I think Granny is trying to say is that she’s so excited about what we’re doing! And she wants me to come to her big house on the island and do this project and make lots of money!

If your call goes like this, you’ve got problems.

At this point, you should disconnect the call and bang your head against the wall.

Give your colleague one more chance to turn this business venture into something legitimate by pressing him for what he expects from pursuing what you have determined is a dead end, or more to the point, an old woman’s desperate attempt to ensnare a younger man with the promise of making lots of money.

If his reasons include:

1. Using you as a buffer to keep the old woman in the loop by curbing her persistence in calling his cell phone every five minutes. Perhaps she could call you every five minutes instead?

2.  Stringing her along to get the job and then maybe he’ll throw her a bone and sleep with her if the paycheck is big enough to buy him a new car.

3. He just wants a free trip to the big island to stay in her big house and really doesn’t care if there’s a paycheck involved, or not.

Now would be the time to set some boundaries by informing your colleague that you did not sign on to be his personal pimp and this business venture should be dropped.

In fact, I’d probably drop the colleague too.

This kind of business deal never works out. There will always be some problem, hurt feelings and the possibility of getting sued. Steer clear of mixing pleasure with business. You’ll keep that Open sign hanging in your window a lot longer if you practice clean, ethical business habits.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Sex and the Business Deal

  1. Pingback: Trick or Treat! Is your Business Partner a Monster? | Spread Information

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  4. Papizilla says:

    So the gigolo approach is not the best way? Damn the luck. No wonder all these old biddies keep calling me then….. 😀

    Like

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