I do and I do and I do

by Madeline Laughs
A Jewish Wedding

A Jewish Wedding (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I love Facebook.

I love it for many reasons, but the main one is that you can find old friends on there that you haven’t thought about in years. The other night I just stumbled across a comment one of my oldest friends made on someone one’s page. We had not kept in touch over the years, but we genuinely liked each other back in the day. I wasn’t sure it was her, but the picture looked familiar, so I clicked on it. Sure enough, it was her! She looked fantastic and her smile just exuded a lot of joy.

Her profile was mostly open so I clicked on her Photos to see how her life had been going, and besides her smile was making me smile, so why not see some more of them?  

I clicked through pictures of her, her with her dogs, her with her children, her getting married, etc. Her life looked idyllic. I love happy people and I like surrounding myself with them, so I was definitely going to send her a friend request and a little note saying hello.

I was click, click, clicking through the marriage photos that appeared to be recent. Checking the dates I saw they were 2012, so she was a newlywed. That would be enough to put a glow on anyone’s face! The man was also quite happy and very handsome. It was a Jewish wedding and there were photos of him breaking the glass and in his yarmulke.

I didn’t remember that she was Jewish, but back then it wouldn’t have been something I paid much attention too. On her profile I had seen fanpages that she liked for the Torah and a few Jewish organizations, so she was either Jewish the whole time, or she converted.

I continued clicking through her pictures and there were more of the beach and various outings. And that’s when I saw the first thing that made the hairs stand up on my arms.

Here she was in another wedding gown.

A different wedding gown from the one I had just looked at.

With a different groom.

He was handsome too, but a lot bigger than the other guy and he was not wearing a yarmulke. In fact, the description on this wedding picture clearly stated it was taken at a nondenominational church. So…not Jewish at all.

I checked the dates and this wedding took place about 8 months prior to her most recent wedding. This wedding was in 2011!

I clicked through these pictures. Click, click, click. Oh yes, she had definitely married the guy. This was not a stage production, or a joke wedding. This was real!

I couldn’t stop going back in time in her online photo albums now so I just kept clicking and lo and behold in 2010…SHE GOT MARRIED AGAIN! This time it was a Christian wedding in a Baptist church somewhere in North Carolina.

Three weddings in 3 years! That didn’t even include the wedding I actually knew about which was her first marriage right out of high school to her sweetheart.

Three different religious faiths in 3 years! I tried to remember where she went to church when we were younger, but it escaped me. But holy crap! That’s a lot of changes in 3 years!

Now I clicked through the pictures going forward in time. I was looking for some clue about why this had happened, but of course, there wasn’t one.

Her photos were public and so was most of her profile. You could skim back over those last 3 years and read the posts relating to each different wedding. The proposals and the romance was all right there for anyone to read. The only thing missing was the in-between parts. You know, the divorce that had to happen between each marriage.

Since the invisible butterfly antenna on my little noggin were already standing on high alert, my suspicions were also running to the dark side. Could my old friend be a Black Widow?!

*GASP* cue scary soundtrack music…

Of course, she wasn’t.

I clicked on each groom’s highlighted name to see proof that they were all alive, well and still posting recent entries on Facebook. Except none of them made even the slightest hint about being heartbroken over a recent divorce from my friend, the Serial Bride.

I toyed with the idea of calling her because her phone number was listed on her profile, but I resisted that temptation. I knew there was no way I could make it through the pleasantries this kind of phone call out of the blue would require for etiquette’s sake.

Hi SoandSo! This is Me! I found your profile on Facebook and you looked so wonderful and happy that I just wanted to call you and say hello! How are you? How are the children? How in the world is it that you have been married three times in the last 2 and a half years to three different men in three different churches and someone hasn’t thought to have you committed to a psyche ward somewhere for mental health testing? Because honestly girlfriend, I think you must have lost your fucking mind! 

Nah, I probably shouldn’t call.

I know me and that call would deteriorate pretty quickly once I started asking questions like that and there’s no way I wouldn’t ask. Besides, she would probably hang up on me as soon as I mentioned her mental health. I know that if I were in her shoes and somebody like me called, I’d hang up on them too.

But was any of this even my business?

No, absolutely not.

This the other thing I love about Facebook.

Something this unusual and this personal can definitely be classified as none of your business, but once you put it out there for public consumption…you make it everybody’s business. That’s where the new saying comes from:

If you don’t want people to know about it, then don’t post it on Facebook

I just spent the last 6 months cleaning out the toxic people I was involved with on Facebook, so sadly, I won’t be sending her a friend request. You could argue with me that there’s nothing wrong with her behavior until you’re blue in the face, and I still won’t buy it.

I think the best thing in the world, besides being a parent, is probably being a bride or a groom. That’s a life milestone and one that makes a huge difference in your world. I don’t fault anyone for having more than one marriage, because sometimes that’s just how it works out.

But all of my friends that tie the knot more than once, have some down time in between nuptials. When I say down time, I’m talking about a few years, at least.

Nope, there’s some seriously warped juju going on here and the one thing all of it has in common is, unfortunately, my friend.

What do you think? Do you think three marriages over the course of 2 and a half years is okay? I’d really like to know your thoughts on this, so please chime in.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I do and I do and I do

  1. Papizilla says:

    Ruh-Roh Raggy! My Scooby-Doo sense is tingling on this one. Maybe she is secretly polygamous? Brother-grooms, instead of Sister Wives? With three Husbands, well, that is an awful lot of “Honey-do” listing she gets to do…… I would have friend-ed her and bide my time until I could pounce with my questions. But then, I make my own fun…. 😀

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  2. Weird. Maybe there’s something going on where these marriages can’t last because of something like failure to consummate? Maybe you should ask her, she might need an ear.

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  3. In my opinion, we are never in a position to judge something like this. What works for you doesn’t work for other necesarily and if she’s looking for happiness I would imagine that she is making good use of her time and making quick moves to find that happiness. Who are we to judge someone else’s choices? When we judge, we immediately presume we “know better”.

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    • I have to disagree with you Oscar. Marriage is not something I take lightly. If you want to change boyfriends/girlfriends at a moment’s notice then have at it. Change them like the wind direction. Find the one you want to spend your life with and spend some time getting to know them. When you enter into a sacred union you are making a promise to another human being that says “I will be there with you through it all”.

      Ending something of that magnitude should be carried out with reverence.

      When we start discarding the rituals of life, we are no better for it.

      I would also like to address the personal attack. When I asked for opinions, it wasn’t to get opinions about my opinion. In other words, my post may sound like “judgment” to some folks, but it does not sound like I think I “know better” where she is concerned. My main concern is her lack of respect for marriage and also not wanting to involve myself with someone that obviously has a tendency towards extreme and unhealthy self gratification at the expense of others. If you think this is her way of finding happiness, then I just have no words to describe how much that assessment makes me want to vomit.

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  4. She’s not overweight at all, in fact, she’s quite beautiful, but I totally get what you mean. I don’t understand it one bit, but I guess it’s not for me to understand since every fiber in my being said to run the other way as fast as I could and never look back. People like her always find a way to make it work and most of the time they make it work at the expense of other people. She probably feels no remorse for what she’s done and that’s fine if it works for her, but it makes me nauseous, so I’m keeping my distance.

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  5. I’m with Papizilla – this has the makings of a great thriller novel. Brother husbands, or even a time travel kind of thing. She marries in different centuries but there is a convergence of the time space continuem on Facebook of all places. There have been too many vampire stories to dredge that up,but a glutinous Vampira would explain things too. I wish you would friend her and keep us posted.

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  6. Green card? Soap opera-esque lifestyle resulting in multiple bouts of amnesia? Sometimes Facebook is a spectator sport, lol!

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