by Madeline Laughs
Surviving the shun once it’s started is not something there seems to be a lot of information on out there. A shunning can be mentally and physically devastating to the person experiencing it. Some people have even taken their own lives because they just could not handle living with this kind of constant, daily mental torture.
So what can you do when you become the object of a public shunning?
When you understand the history of shunning, you have to wonder about the folks that would actively participate in one.
In Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter, Hester Primm is forced to wear a scarlet A on her chest by the Puritans because she committed adultery. Even after successfully escaping the prying eyes of the town by moving away, she later returned to live out the rest of her life there and voluntarily continued to wear the A everyday.
Hitler forced the Jewish community to wear the Star of David armbands and encouraged German citizens to shun them. He also forced the homosexual community to wear a pink pyramid armband and encouraged them to be shunned as well. The pink pyramid is now a worldwide recognized symbol for homosexulaity and the community took back the power of this symbol by wearing it with pride now, instead of in fear.
Historically shunning is a tool for stressing that the people doing the shunning are better than the person being shunned.
It has never been proven true.
Historically the people doing the shunning are NOT better than the one being shunned. In fact, they are far more evil and wicked and they are the ones we should steer clear of.
I have always found that taking a situation apart and breaking it down into categories and groups makes it seem less of a behemoth. When you can break down the parts of a situation and work from the smaller parts inward, it takes the sting out of what’s happening. It diffuses the power of the situation and helps the person going through it to understand exactly what they can do to recover from the magnitude of what is actually happening.
Taking apart the shun may make it insignificant.
So that’s where we are going to start today. My friend will be making a list of the people participating in her shun. Then we will go from there so that she can begin her recovery.
If any of you have any advice, groups or helpful tips on strategy, please let us know. I think having a course of action that is available for everyone going through this is important.
- Don’t shun the shuns (thelearnedkat.wordpress.com)
- Female tourists shun India after gang rape (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)
- GAY MARRIAGE? What Other Kind Is There, Earl? (wintropemerrideththeiii.newsvine.com)
- Jehovah’s Witnesses ‘a cruel cult’ (theage.com.au)
- James Yap shunned by own son, says lawyer of Kris Aquino (entertainment.inquirer.net)
- shunning…it’s not just religious anymore (madelinescribes.wordpress.com)
- The stupidest phrase in the world (likeinbooks.wordpress.com)
- Community, conduct, conflict, and communication (nedbatchelder.com)
- Twisted Mick Philpott freak show shames everyone because we all had a gawp (mirror.co.uk)
- Child Sex Abuse Victim’s Father Files Complaint With Human Rights Commission Over Chabad Intimidation, Harassment And Shunning (failedmessiah.typepad.com)