I wrote that?

by Madeline Laughs

shesawriterI was plundering some of my old posts last night and re-reading some of the events I have processed over the last few years. One post caught my eye and I sat back to read through the whole thing.

This is something I rarely do.

I reached one paragraph and was quite impressed with what it said. I wondered to myself who I had quoted so I scrolled to the bottom, looking for the quotation marks and the credited source. I didn’t find any, so I scrolled back to the top, thinking I must have missed something. There weren’t any quotation marks at the top either.  

I read the paragraph again.

Wow, I thought to myself.

I wrote that.

I have never had an ego about anything I write. I enjoy sharing what I write with my friends and anyone else who comes along and takes the time to read it. I love to write, but it is rare that I will ever go back just to read something I wrote. I might go back to something I need at the moment. I might edit it to bring it up to date so I can repost it, but I never go back just to read my own writing.

For me, writing is therapy.

Just as if I sat in a professional therapist’s office and regurgitated my thoughts, fears, revelations or tears, writing it out and hitting Publish is like spending $50 an hour to tell it to a doctor.

I get it out and then I get a move on.

There have been certain BIG events in my life that I will continue to process and grow from, in my writing. They aren’t pretty subjects, but they are something that needs to be talked about. Not just by me, but by a lot of people that have been warned to keep quiet when they try to share things that have hurt them.

Don’t be quiet anymore.

Talking about it and sharing your experiences with others is the best medicine I know about.

I am aware that some subjects are not society approved. This set of rules is what leads me to believe now that society is just another word for suppress. If someone can make you feel guilty for exposing the ugly truth, then perhaps the ugly truth can stay hidden. Then repeating history won’t carry a stigma.

I never allow anyone to dictate to me what I write about when it comes to this. Oh, a couple of folks have tried to bully me into submission about one subject, but they can kiss my ass. If they don’t like what I have to say, they don’t have to read a word of it. You would think that’s common sense, but I see their digital footprints every time they trespass here and it makes me chuckle.

I guess there are times I am more prolific than I am aware of. I guess some days I am better at expressing myself, than on others. I know I can’t hold onto many of the thoughts and words in my head that I tend to share here and so I am pleased to be able to have a place to put them.

I know it feels good to be able to come here and occasionally say to myself…

Damn, I guess I can write.

Whodathunkit?

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in Artsy and Poetic and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I wrote that?

  1. Yes, you can write 🙂 Loved your post 🙂

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  2. YES YOU CAN WRITE! And very, very well. 🙂

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  3. whine-wine-whatever says:

    Yes, dahlink, you can write. There’s nothing wrong with discovering a little hidden self-validation now and then.

    And there’s one sentence in this blog entry that made me ROAR out loud with laughter. I even woke up the dang cat! Can you guess which one? heh.
    😉

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    • Was it the line about the digital footprints? She’s on here like clockwork every week, come rain or shine. I hope it satisfies some need she has, though I have no idea what it is.

      And thank you for the compliments WWW. I am so fortunate to have a reader like you for such a long time now. Your comments always inspire me.

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  4. Writing is my therapy too :). I’ve never totally felt in love with it like I do with pieces of music or art, or when I’m playing the piano or drawing, but I do feel some innate drive to write- that it must absolutely be done!! It’s an essential part of me I guess!

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    • It’s a pleasure to welcome a kindred spirit to the fold. Thank you for stopping by and for commenting. I hope you find many reasons to return to us and I’ll be checking you out regularly now that I subscribed to your blog.

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  5. whine-wine-whatever says:

    You were close! It’s this one (ok, it’s two sentences): “I never allow anyone to dictate to me what I write about when it comes to this. Oh, a couple of folks have tried to bully me into submission about one subject, but they can kiss my ass.” It was ha-ha funny when I read it. But there is a deeper meaning now.

    It took me awhile to see it, but now I realize that she does have an unhealthy fixation about you and your words. She claims that you constantly copy/paste her posts, but I read every single thing you post on FB and on your blog and honestly haven’t seen that to be true. For someone who claims you have “mental issues,” she sure is glued to every utterance you make, and it sounds like she visits your blog a lot.

    I had hoped to maintain separate friendships with both of you, and it did work for awhile. But when she posted about the death of your mutual friend, I was stunned at the meanness of it, and that there were no words of sorrow for his death. It was all about you, vengeful words, and included a “warning” to others about becoming your next “target.” A friend had just died?? And was found, alone and rotting in his apartment, about a month after he’d passed? What a horrible, vicious thing to post. That was my first clue. I guess I completely misread her. Perhaps I was in denial. I don’t know. The whole situation makes me sad and heartsick.

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    • When I read your comment this afternoon I almost cried. I am so weary of her and her disciples. I truly wish they would all just leave me alone.

      I asked, with love and respect, that she please leave me alone. I asked that she treat this person’s passing with reverence. I asked that she stop trying to destroy another human being with her bitterness. No one is happy when another person dies and for her to continue posting undeserved and uninformed comments that this could ever be the case, was unconscionable and disrespectful to me and everyone else involved.

      One of her comments was flippantly shared in a thread where this person’s death was newly announced. There were friends in that thread that were just hearing this news for the first time. People were shocked and stunned.

      And yet, there she was. Without a single morsel of concern for their grief and not an ounce of sympathy, announcing that “there would be some that share a different opinion for many reasons”

      But oh, she just hated it.

      Let’s not forget that heartfelt platitude.

      This was not an anonymous blog post she was posting on. This was not a thread that was written as private. It was a Public post and the boy’s name was used. These were REAL people!! These were people he went to school with, worked with and hung out with. These were people from his hometown that only knew the boy that went away and did good. No one deserved to have that kind of venom injected into a thread where people are reeling from the news of a friend’s death.

      I have remained quiet for eight months. I have allowed her to gleefully malign and disparage and pass her almighty, self righteous judgments without retaliation and without defense, I have ignored her constant presence in this blog and laughed off her rude and insidious comments for almost a year and I am done being nice.

      If I have mental issues now, I have most certainly earned them, but I’m not a raving lunatic yet, and I never will be one.

      All of this makes me sad and heartsick too. It makes me appreciate the people in my life that have always carried themselves with decorum and grace. It makes me appreciate people like you that have the courage to say what’s on your mind and to speak the truth, regardless of how unpopular it makes you. If more people stand up and start pushing back against people like this, then eventually they will either stop, or change. Something has got to give.

      Thank you for this. Thank you for the validation. And thank you most of all for the love.

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