hitting a nerve

by Madeline Laughs

stalkerWhat does it mean when people tell you that you’re hitting a nerve?

When you hit a nerve with someone it means you’ve touched on a sensitive subject for the person and triggered them into a defensive posture.

How do you know if you’ve hit a nerve with someone?

Oh, they’ll let you know. Even when they’re trying not to let you know, you’ll figure out they’re triggered pretty quickly. All you have to do is pay attention to what they say to you, and how they say it.  

There’s a woman on Facebook whose nerve I keep hitting without even trying to hit it. She is constantly seeking me out to read whatever new thing I have written so she can make her own observations about it to her friends. She tends to slam anything I write, even though in the past she was one of my biggest fans. I had stopped paying attention to her slights long ago, but recent events have set her back in motion in a large way.

Here’s an example:

“Just a note…before giving someone a lesson on “how to act” or “how to do something”, make sure you are qualified and didn’t flunk the course yourself!!”

I actually thought about commenting on this one to congratulate her on finally realizing she shouldn’t be telling other people how to live their lives. But I refrained from commenting there and preferred to just have my say about it here instead.

Newsflash hunny!

You flunked.

At least I’m out here trying to help other people get through some tough situations in life. I write without judgement and offer solutions to problems I have faced myself. No one that contributes here claims to be an expert, but we do claim to be human beings. Rather than placing yourself in some high seat of superiority, looking down your crooked nose at the rest of us, why don’t you try practicing a little kindness. It goes a long way these days.

What I find truly ironic is peppered among her most judgemental posts are these heartfelt pleas on the plight of humanity. She gives the impression that she cares about the human race, but she has never shown me an ounce of the same empathy. 

When someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, the best reaction is to let them go quietly. Perhaps whatever caused a rift between you can be repaired one day and you can be friends again.

Why make them into your enemy by being a bully?

Would I ever be friends with this woman again? I’m not sure that she ever was my friend.  She has carried on with her vendetta against me since September 11, 2012, the day I deleted her on Facebook. She stalks our fanpage on Facebook and she lurks right here in the blog. She logged on here a couple of weeks ago and left it open on her computer for 15 hours. That was kind of creepy, but I suppose she fell asleep with it open.

I’d say she flunked the friend test a while back too, so I think I’ll just keep my distance from her.

When someone is so deviantly consumed with every word you write and every move you make in life, that’s their problem. But try to have some empathy for their station in life that has made them so bitter that they are incapable of letting someone go that doesn’t want to be around them anymore. It has to be frustrating to them that you have moved on and are continuing life without them. You aren’t completely destroyed like they feel you should be, so they are intent on destroying you in every way possible.

What could have happened to them throughout the years that has caused them to behave like a crazed psychopathic stalker? It’s not up to you to figure it out, or try to fix, but know that they can’t hurt you unless you let them.

The best thing you can do for them is to cut off all contact and keep yourself off of their radar until they either leave you alone, or find some other unfortunate soul to take your place. I believe she even wrote a little something about that too…when the object of someone’s wrath dies, they’ll just find someone else to torment? Not a direct quote, but close enough. She seems to write a lot of stuff that is self predicting, which brings me to my next tip on how to know you’ve hit a nerve.

You can tell you’ve hit a nerve with someone by what they tell you.

When someone approaches you in accusatory anger about something you shared about them and they are so defensive you can literally hear the spittle flying between the words, then a nerve has most definitely been hit.

Watch for isolationist terms being used like “a lot of people are mad at you” or “a number of people are talking” or “everybody in the group thinks..”. This kind of referencing to large numbers or groups of people that are allegedly behind the person doing all the yelling is always bullshit.

This is also textbook sociopathic speak. Sociopaths will always reference big groups of people to back up whatever they’re toting. It’s always some mob scene being described that will have his back if you don’t sit up, pay attention and start behaving in a manner that suits him.

They want to scare you into submission by giving you visions of the whole world being against you. Don’t buy it. Trust me, the only person pissed off is him and maybe one of his disciples.

Listen carefully for what they say and how they say it.

When someone is truly who they claim to be, then going on the defensive and contacting someone in anger is the last thing they will ever feel the need to do.

It’s a liar that is trying to cover his ass that feels compelled to contact you, belittle you with personal insults while trying to scare you into submission by gaslighting you into believing that “a bunch of people” are mad too.

Once you can recognize the difference, it’s easy to walk away from that kind of confrontation without ever being affected by it. They just showed you their true colors and you just hit a nerve.

Until next time, this is Madeline Laughs. I hope this sheds some light on how hitting a nerve is not always a bad thing, especially if it exposes people you really don’t want to have in your life anymore.

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to hitting a nerve

  1. Wow so sorry for this nightmare of an experience! Obviously she must not have much of a life if she is so consumed with anyone else that much! Sad!


    • On April 17, 2013 I sent her a text message after enduring her constant posts referring to the death of someone in my life. Her posts were in poor taste and undeserved.

      I asked her with love and respect to please leave me alone. I asked her to show reverence for this person’s passing.

      She has continued with the stalking behavior and continued posting inflammatory and defaming comments directed back to me. Now that I’ve called her out, even though I never used her name, she is owning this post and using it to make herself into a victim now. After I have remained quiet for the last eight months and allowed her the sheer joy to passive aggressively malign me to my friends, now suddenly she’s a victim?

      You’re right, some people are just sad.


  2. It’s really creepy that she logged on to the site for 15 hours. On a slightly related note: how do you know what specific person is logged on? I ask because I’m not that technological savvy and didn’t realize you could tell who was reading outside of general region: are there features of wordpress I’m missing?


  3. I second April’s question! I would love to know how too. 15 hours wtf! It reminds me of some movie where I saw Raul Julia answer someone who was really angry with him and said, “That day defined your life, but to me it was just a Tuesday.”


    • LOL! I love that quote from Raul Julia, and how true it is when applied to this situation. To me, I was just deleting someone that was bullying me, but it defined her life and gave her an unhealthy obsession up to this moment.

      I’ll send you a private message about stat trackers too George 🙂


      • Got your message – thanks!

        God forbid someone try to get away from a bully. Very creepy. Look how bad online crap got between the Elvis impersonator and Mr. Ricin. How anybody could care what someone else is doing is beyond me. Could you imagine constantly being mired in that negativity of wanting to hurt someone?
        btw When I first found you, I read a bunch of your posts, but I wasn’t stalking you. I swear. Just wanted to know if you had been in a cult or something because I didn’t know what had happened to you.


      • A cult? Hahahahahahaha! Thank you for making me chuckle this morning! I guess you could call a secret discussion group on Facebook a cult if you wanted to call it that. It sure feels like the most twisted group of people I’ve ever been exposed to. It’s not fair to say everyone in the group has a bad agenda though, because most of them don’t. It was only a few of them, but jeez they are lunatics.

        Oh and I usually do not pay much attention to who is looking at the blog. I’m more interested in how to interest people, so I look for the posts that get the most hits. It just so happened that a couple of readers warranted watching because I knew they had evil intentions. One of them recently passed away, which was sad in many ways. He did love every word I wrote. He just had some problems. This other lady just needs to get a hobby and leave me alone. I let her slide for almost a year, but I’ve had enough of her crap now. I’ve asked her nicely to leave me alone and that didn’t seem to have any affect, so now I’m just going to call her out and she can explain herself to the people that think she’s so innocent and harmless. Boy are they in for a wake up call someday.

        Here’s some irony for you…the guy that loved every word I wrote and this lady are both from the same secret discussion group on Facebook.


  4. 🙂 I don’t know which post I started following you on, but you hinted at things and to me it sounded like a cult with people trying to bilk you out of money and trying to undermine your self-esteem. After reading more, I got that it was about the facebook discussion thing. I was just confused at first.

    I’m sorry about your friend that passed away. That is always hard and usually it hits you out of the blue even when it’s a long- term illness. No matter what, it always seems sudden.

    Hope you are doing okay, despite the stalker and your friend.


    • Thank you George 🙂 I think the stalker will go away eventually. I just need to remember not to feed the trolls and she will get bored.

      As for the “friend” that passed away…I think it’s safer to refer to him as someone I once knew, instead of a friend. When I knew him long ago he was indeed my friend, but in later years he became a constant source of sadness and distress. I hope he is at peace now and I hope that he is no longer hurting.


      • I’m having problems with a thunderstorm here and this is my third reply…argh. Sorry I misread your later post and forgot to amend my answer. It’s unfair that she said you’d be happy he passed away just because the two of you were on the outs.


      • Exactly…no one knew how I felt about his passing, but me. I was relieved only because I knew he wasn’t hurting anymore. I was also relieved because he couldn’t continue hurting others. But I was never happy about any of it. I cried when I read his obituary. I cried the day of his memorial service. I cried because I knew him and I knew there were parts of him that were brilliant and good, he just chose to exploit the dark side of himself instead. It was sad.


      • I absolutely get it! It’s complex and it doesn’t fit what some people expect (or want) you to feel.

        Sorry I’ve added things that make you come back to an older post…


      • No worries 🙂 You comment to your heart’s content. I will always be here to read and respond to them.


  5. Pingback: Turning the tables on your stalker | Madeline Scribes

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