by Madeline Laughs
When you hit a nerve with someone it means you’ve touched on a sensitive subject for the person and triggered them into a defensive posture.
How do you know if you’ve hit a nerve with someone?
Oh, they’ll let you know. Even when they’re trying not to let you know, you’ll figure out they’re triggered pretty quickly. All you have to do is pay attention to what they say to you, and how they say it.
There’s a woman on Facebook whose nerve I keep hitting without even trying to hit it. She is constantly seeking me out to read whatever new thing I have written so she can make her own observations about it to her friends. She tends to slam anything I write, even though in the past she was one of my biggest fans. I had stopped paying attention to her slights long ago, but recent events have set her back in motion in a large way.
Here’s an example:
“Just a note…before giving someone a lesson on “how to act” or “how to do something”, make sure you are qualified and didn’t flunk the course yourself!!”
I actually thought about commenting on this one to congratulate her on finally realizing she shouldn’t be telling other people how to live their lives. But I refrained from commenting there and preferred to just have my say about it here instead.
At least I’m out here trying to help other people get through some tough situations in life. I write without judgement and offer solutions to problems I have faced myself. No one that contributes here claims to be an expert, but we do claim to be human beings. Rather than placing yourself in some high seat of superiority, looking down your crooked nose at the rest of us, why don’t you try practicing a little kindness. It goes a long way these days.
What I find truly ironic is peppered among her most judgemental posts are these heartfelt pleas on the plight of humanity. She gives the impression that she cares about the human race, but she has never shown me an ounce of the same empathy.
When someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, the best reaction is to let them go quietly. Perhaps whatever caused a rift between you can be repaired one day and you can be friends again.
Why make them into your enemy by being a bully?
Would I ever be friends with this woman again? I’m not sure that she ever was my friend. She has carried on with her vendetta against me since September 11, 2012, the day I deleted her on Facebook. She stalks our fanpage on Facebook and she lurks right here in the blog. She logged on here a couple of weeks ago and left it open on her computer for 15 hours. That was kind of creepy, but I suppose she fell asleep with it open.
I’d say she flunked the friend test a while back too, so I think I’ll just keep my distance from her.
When someone is so deviantly consumed with every word you write and every move you make in life, that’s their problem. But try to have some empathy for their station in life that has made them so bitter that they are incapable of letting someone go that doesn’t want to be around them anymore. It has to be frustrating to them that you have moved on and are continuing life without them. You aren’t completely destroyed like they feel you should be, so they are intent on destroying you in every way possible.
What could have happened to them throughout the years that has caused them to behave like a crazed psychopathic stalker? It’s not up to you to figure it out, or try to fix, but know that they can’t hurt you unless you let them.
The best thing you can do for them is to cut off all contact and keep yourself off of their radar until they either leave you alone, or find some other unfortunate soul to take your place. I believe she even wrote a little something about that too…when the object of someone’s wrath dies, they’ll just find someone else to torment? Not a direct quote, but close enough. She seems to write a lot of stuff that is self predicting, which brings me to my next tip on how to know you’ve hit a nerve.
You can tell you’ve hit a nerve with someone by what they tell you.
When someone approaches you in accusatory anger about something you shared about them and they are so defensive you can literally hear the spittle flying between the words, then a nerve has most definitely been hit.
Watch for isolationist terms being used like “a lot of people are mad at you” or “a number of people are talking” or “everybody in the group thinks..”. This kind of referencing to large numbers or groups of people that are allegedly behind the person doing all the yelling is always bullshit.
This is also textbook sociopathic speak. Sociopaths will always reference big groups of people to back up whatever they’re toting. It’s always some mob scene being described that will have his back if you don’t sit up, pay attention and start behaving in a manner that suits him.
They want to scare you into submission by giving you visions of the whole world being against you. Don’t buy it. Trust me, the only person pissed off is him and maybe one of his disciples.
Listen carefully for what they say and how they say it.
When someone is truly who they claim to be, then going on the defensive and contacting someone in anger is the last thing they will ever feel the need to do.
It’s a liar that is trying to cover his ass that feels compelled to contact you, belittle you with personal insults while trying to scare you into submission by gaslighting you into believing that “a bunch of people” are mad too.
Once you can recognize the difference, it’s easy to walk away from that kind of confrontation without ever being affected by it. They just showed you their true colors and you just hit a nerve.
Until next time, this is Madeline Laughs. I hope this sheds some light on how hitting a nerve is not always a bad thing, especially if it exposes people you really don’t want to have in your life anymore.
- What It Takes to Be a PR Person (womeninpr.wordpress.com)
- On my last nerve…maybe. (catchmybreathxo.wordpress.com)
- Your Bad Driving Habits Get on My Nerves (allstate.com)
- Re: WOW!! Did I Strike A Nerve With Paul A Drockton’s Self Importance? (forum.prisonplanet.com)
- School Daze (nazaradine.wordpress.com)
- Daring, nerve and chivalry (shihao92.wordpress.com)