by Madeline Laughs

Viper (Cocoa) and Oreo in the kennel

~DECEMBER 12, 2012
Feral Five Update!!Who’s the best kitten trapper in the east? That’s right…it’s me 🙂

Have two of the babies in a trap now. One of each, a black one and a black and white one. The black one is much larger and more ferocious than the oreo, which tells me Oreo may be the runt I’ve been hunting for. The runt won’t go out alone and it looks like they turtled together to the food dish.

No one was hurt by the trap, which I’m always afraid of, especially with kittens. The bigger kitten did a lot of hissing and acting tough while Oreo sat there breathing hard and looking terrified. The next step will be to let them calm down a bit and get used to the trap for a couple of hours and then move them into their new digs…the kennels. They’ve already been playing in the kennels and using the potty in the new potty boxes in there, so it will be a bit familiar to them.

I have no idea how we’ll move them, but failure is not an option.  


Viper and Oreo

~DECEMBER 13, 2012
Feral Five Update!!

We just went down to check the trap. We don’t leave it active after we go to bed. The last thing we want to do is have them trapped for more than a few hours.

WE CAUGHT TWO AGAIN!!!! Then in the process of transferring them to the kennel, one escaped. BUT WE HAVE ANOTHER ONE!! He’s all black and much smaller than the other two, so now I’m perplexed about who the runt of the litter is.

This one is much wilder than the other two altogether. He was shoving his little arms through the bars and going nuts until I put my hand in the cage with him. Then he got really calm and just watched me. Probably pure terror. His paws are just a bit bigger than a dime. So tiny!!

So, three down and one more for sure to go…maybe two more.


Monkey tipping over her potty box for the umpteenth time!

~DECEMBER 14, 2012
I got my first full on, skin contact swat this morning! Cocoa, who I am renaming Viper, swatted me! When I squealed (cause it hurt!) he was shocked into paralysis and just looked at me like he couldn’t believe that little tiny him could hurt the gigantic, hairless monster octopus in his kennel.

He likes to sit in his potty box with just his eyes glaring over the rim and his ears flattened on his head…the mad Potty Box Viper.

~DECEMBER 15, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!!!!WE HAVE ALL FIVE! hopefully there’s only 5 of them…The last two to succumb to the pleasures of the trap are the BIGGEST ONES! One all black and another oreo. These two are much smarter than their siblings and knew immediately to push in the corners and test the bars to see of they could squeeze through them.They finally calmed down. I put a soft towel in the kennel along with their own potty box and some water for now. Unlike their smaller brothers and sisters, they were in the trap less time, but they ate every morsel of food. The other kittens were in there much longer and never ate a thing!I think we’ll name the new oreo Dexter, in honor of my friend Morine 🙂 If it’s a girl we can call her Dexie. I’ll post new pictures this weekend!


Viper and Oreo. The flash on the camera always make them look demonic.

~DECEMBER 17, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!!!Yes, there are only 5 of them.Two of them are batshit crazy. Monkey and Viper are just plain ornery. They are the only ones that hiss, spit and swat the living crap out of me when I’m cleaning their kennels. I clean their kennels twice a day because they completely destroy them.

The bedding gets soaked and covered in litter, their water dish is full of litter and there’s always one or two poops that have made their way out of the potty box.I held my gloved hand in Viper and Oreo’s kennel this morning just so Viper could swat to her heart’s content. She took full advantage and I remained stoic, letting her know that not only would the hand not hurt her or retaliate, but it wasn’t scared of her either.I am convinced that Viper and Monkey are females and probably need to be separated from the others and on their own in order to make any progress with them. Now how are we going to accomplish that? Sheesh.

The other three kittens are zen. I rubbed Dexter’s back with my bare hand this morning and he and the other kitten (not yet named) just watched me. They never hissed or spit or tried to swat me. And their kennel was pristine.

Here’s the setup: Monkey is in a kennel on her own. Viper and Oreo are together. Dexter and NoNameYet are in a kennel together too. Monkey makes more mess in her kennel, all by herself, than all of the rest of them put together. And I think the mess in Viper and Oreo’s kennel is mainly created by Viper because she is extremely high strung and Oreo is very docile. I wonder what would happen if we kenneled Viper and Monkey together….omg, I would not want to even stick a gloved hand in there then.



~DECEMBER 18, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!!!We are now back to being the Feral Four after an unsuccessful Cuddle Sesh. Thinking one of them was docile enough to be held, we removed Dexter from the kennel for some tender loving pets only to have him bite through the towel, scare the crap out of both of us…and escape back into the bowels of the garage.I will be trapping Dexter, the little stinker, again today.


Monkey’s new station in the laundry room.


Capone’s new station up high in front of a window.

This morning will be spent cleaning the kennels and moving them into their new locations throughout the garage. Monkey will now reside in the laundry room. Viper and Oreo will be residing in the bathroom temporarily until Dexter can be trapped again and put in the new kennel we got yesterday. Then Dexter and Oreo will be moved to the work bench while kitty with no name yet will live in the back of the garage.

I read yesterday that we are not supposed to be making eye contact or staring at them for long periods of time. They think that’s hostile behavior. Well, I think we failed that rule miserably. They are so damn cute! How can you not stare at them for long periods of time?!I now sport two tiny scratches on my right hand, the one that wears the glove most of the time…these are some of the most gangsta kittens I have ever seen.

Don’t they know that if they turn the potty box over, scratch it up in the air and get litter in their water dish that it’s essentially undrinkable?
Face palm…they’re kittens, not Einstein.

~DECEMBER 22, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!!!Dexter is still at large in the garage and being very crafty. We stopped leaving food out for him yesterday, so I imagine he’s getting hungry. Since I killed most of the edible creatures in there the other day cleaning…he ain’t got much on his menu now.

But alas, the one thing he does have now is company. That’s right people! I became complacent with Capone and like his namesake, he escaped! There ya have it…the 2 nicest kitties fooled me and got away! dammit

I read on FeralCat.Org that the kitties might like to be brushed, especially with a flea comb. Their kitty mamas do this with their rough tongues, grooming them. Looking at the scratches all over my hands and now sporting two puncture wounds from bites, I thought to myself…cold day in hell I’m getting that close to them.

So I got me a toothbrush! :)I started with the 2 meanest ones, Viper and Monkey. THEY LOVED IT! Monkey hissed a little at first, but after brushing her whole head and moving down to her neck, she was quite calm and winky-eyed. Viper attacked the brush several times and I let her bite it and chew on it a little, and she finally calmed down and let me stroke her head all over and scrub her ears. When I stopped brushing she looked at me and for the first time, it wasn’t with pure fear and hatred. So I brushed her some more.
Posting pictures…stay tuned!

~DECEMBER 23, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!!!Dexter is still at large in the garage. The live trap was active all day and he never showed.

We did figure out that Monkey has been sharing her kibble. It is obviously being scratched or grabbed through the bars by someone. Hmmm…wonder who?I got worried when I saw Dexter hadn’t used the potty box we have out for him. We have scoured every inch of the garage and he’s hidden well, so we pretended to leave through the back door, then quietly tippy toed back in and I sat cross legged on the floor and made kitty mewls. I’m quite good at kitty sounds too. A cacophony of cries went out to their comrade in hiding from every kennel and lo and behold the little booger gave himself away by coming out!

He’s hiding in the pool table! This is a regulation, slate pool table, very heavy and daunting to move, but a great hidey hole for kittens. The pool table has been in Chris’s family since his teens and has raised another litter of kittens in the past. Our beloved Bebe and Thager played in these same billiard pockets, so it seems fitting.

We have left a Christmas Eve dinner out for him and will start fresh in the morning with the live trap. He is well though and quite energetic! When he saw me on the floor he tore around the corner and bounded back into the safe confines of the pool table in seconds.


Oreo and Viper’s new station in the garage bathroom.

~DECEMBER 26, 2012
FERAL FIVE UPDATE!This morning I am Cat Detective Extraordinaire.After cleaning the kennels and serving brekky, I perched quietly atop the pool table texting Chris the morning updates on our captives.

Capone, thinking I had departed, began to quietly meow to the escapee that “all was clear! Come out!”

Sneaky little shites…

So who comes hopping out of the pool table but little Dexter! Already prepared with towels and window screens I commenced Operation Close the Pool Table Entry! He saw me and skittered back to hide near Capone’s kennel.The pool table no longer provides a hiding place for young Dexter and now it’s just a matter of time. Muahahahahaha!

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to FERAL FIVE UPDATE!! Chapter 2

  1. Pingback: FERAL FIVE UPDATE!! Chapter 3 | Spread Information

  2. Pingback: FERAL FIVE UPDATE!! Chapter 3 | Madeline Scribes

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