Younger man, Older woman

by Madeline Laughs

life is too short

Now this is a subject I can write about with some authority and experience.

The younger man, older woman situation seems to be widely ridiculed, but I’ve never paid it much mind. Never did, until one of my friends was being condemned for the age of the man she fell in love with, that is.

Then it caught my attention.  

It annoys me whenever someone tends to always point out the “double standard”, but in this case it’s obvious. An older man can have a full blown relationship with a younger woman that’s not even a third of his age, and everyone says he’s a stud.

Well, not everyone. I’ve always called men like that lecherous. Half his age is one thing, but when you start courting the twenty year old lovelys and you’re in your eighties, then that’s just pushing it too far if you ask me. Hugh Hefner and his bleached blonde harem does not impress me one bit. I find that sad.

But I digress.

Society calls this guy a stud.

Whatever.

When a woman dates a much younger man, she’s called all kinds of things, but stud ain’t one of them. None of the descriptions of her are the least bit congratulatory. If people could burn her at the stake for casting spells, they probably would!

Who the hell came up with the term “cougar”? It has to be one of the stupidest terms I have ever heard. Am I to believe that an older woman stalks and preys on the younger man and that’s how she gets him? Because that’s how the term hits me. It’s not grandiose and complimentary like the word “stud” is.

The women embracing the term “cougar” always make me a little sad too. If I were to describe what I’ve seen out there, it would be an overly made up woman flaunting what little bit of youth she had left and treating the younger man more like a Boy Toy than a human being. Kind of like the modern day American Gigolo. Where the relationship is based purely on animal attraction and sex than it is on feelings and love. Where the boy is bought and paid for and the woman is being serviced.

Pathetic.

They’re not doing the fair gender any favors with their behavior and I am not impressed. In fact, they do all of us a great disservice and perpetuate the stigma that an older woman goes after a younger man because she can’t live up to the expectations a man her own age has. I don’t think any man my age has expectations that need to be met anymore than a younger man does. Besides that, women have and don’t have the same expectations any man might have too. So what’s the difference?

The fact that I have a vagina does not make me any less worthy of loving someone regardless of their age, than someone that has a penis.

Is it jealousy?

Insecurity?

Perhaps they think the world will run out of younger men meant for women their own age?

Is it that older men don’t want the competition of women their age being able to get a younger man? Therefore negating their own self inflated ego of studdom?

I have searched far and wide since this topic came to my attention and I can not find a single approving article I can share with you about the older woman loving the younger man. Why is that? Is society so backwards that they can’t bear to accept the fact that this is happening? Are women still not entitled to be human beings and love the person we love without being judged for it?

Why is it socially acceptable for an older man to court a younger woman and the same is not true in the reverse?

It is my humble opinion that the snarky and insulting views of this phenomena are strictly upheld by the people that have nothing better to do with their lives except to judge other people. I also blame people like Hugh Hefner that flaunt their financial stature in order to buy themselves a younger body they can exploit, rather than someone they can actually love, that loves them back as a human being, rather than a fat wallet. I blame the women on television that want bragging rights of a younger man, rather than someone they want to spend their lives with.

They have taken this beautiful and sacred connection between two people and they have turned it into a circus of freaks.

I don’t think any of their behavior has anything at all to do with love. Not even one bit of love.

So on that note…

Guess what people!

I am the older woman married to the younger man.

Anyone that even hints that I’m a cougar or any other derogatory term of the sort has already missed that boat. There was no stalking on the Serengeti here.

The age difference has never been an issue for my husband. It was for me! I was the one thinking we shouldn’t pursue a relationship because of our age difference, but he didn’t give a fig about it. In fact, he has always been proud of my age!

Oh, and I have never treated him like a Boy Toy either.

If you were to ask the general group of folks that see us on a regular basis if they knew we were different ages, they’d tell you they had no idea. Everyone has always assumed we were the same age. That’s not because I act immature or because he acts older. It’s because age is just a number and the way we act is simply like ourselves.

Our age difference has never been a secret either. It’s just not a topic of conversation.

Why would it be?

What is wrong with some people that they think they have any right at all to meddle in the private and intimate affairs of two people in love?

For the entirety of my relationship with my husband, age has never been an issue. I’m not smarter than he is and he’s not quicker than I am. I’m not pushing him around in a pram and he’s not pushing me around in a wheelchair. He has just as many white hairs on his head as I do and he has more crinkles around his pretty eyes than me.

We’re just two people that fell in love.

That’s all it is folks.

It’s just love.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Younger man, Older woman

  1. whine-wine-whatever says:

    I don’t know what the age difference is between you and your hubs. Don’t care, either. My man was 9 years older than me. It made no difference. At all. My BFF married a man 11 years her junior. They had 3 brilliant, beautiful girls, now successful young women. The age difference didn’t matter. Love doesn’t care how young or old people in a partnership are. It’s people relating to each other and loving them. You said it perfectly: It’s just love.

    Like

  2. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Great post, lovely 🙂 I have been in three relationships in which I was the younger partner. 3 years younger, 6 years younger and 7 years younger. When I was 18 a beautiful 24 year old Chinese princess for some reason decided to love me and it was amazing. She taught me so much about touch and sensuality and life. I still feel so blessed for having had that relationship 🙂

    I’ve also been the older person, 5 or 6 years older at the most. The funny thing is I’ve been younger and taken the lead, and I’ve been the older partner and followed the lead of the other person. And vice versa. Age really is just a number (within the law of course), and I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business the age difference of lovers and partners.

    Thanks for sharing, great post!

    Rohan.

    Like

  3. Anny says:

    I think every lady has her own concept about picking a man. Younger men who date older women or a cougar is popular today. Not all men are the same. Some of them prefer to date a matured lady while some like their money. So, most of these young guys are not supportive but depend on their women. So, power and materials are two things that most young men and old women relationships happen. Older women are seeking younger men because they guys can make them feel younger. That’s what I think.

    Like

    • In my case, it was purely by accident that we met. When I found out his age, in my head I had decided that this would just be a few dates and that was it. But he was so mature and grounded that I fell head over heels in love with his soul. Best thing I ever did and still together after 20 years 🙂

      Like

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