2 things

icarus

There are 2 things you should never feel afraid to say to a friend.

1. No, it is not okay for you to speak to me that way.

When  a friend speaks to you with complete disrespect, it usually has nothing to do with how they feel about you. It is a reflection of how they’re feeling about themselves at the moment and the saying is true, misery loves company. Whatever the case, it is never okay for anyone to speak to you in an offensive manner, unless you’ve done something offensive.  When a friend does it, you can forgive them, but also make sure they know that this is not acceptable behavior and they shouldn’t do it again. If you can’t let them know they have crossed your personal boundaries by speaking to you harshly, instead of like a friend, then this person is not your friend…not really. Move on and find someone else to spend your time with.  

2. No, I will not do that for you because it’s makes me uncomfortable.

When a friend asks you to continue participating in a toxic situation, even after you have expressed your discomfort, you might want to revisit your friendship with this person. Ask them why it’s important you stay. If the reason is simply because they need you financially because they can’t afford to do it alone, or they need you to perform a task so they can be free to do what they want to do or simply to make them look good because they are friends with you, then this person is not your friend…not really. A friend would never ask you to continue being in a situation that hurts you. Find someone that respects your personal boundaries and will care enough to notice when a situation makes you uncomfortable.

Above all else, when your friendship is good and healthy, situations like the ones described above may never even happen. When they do happen is the time you can decide if this person is really a friend, or just someone using you because you have allowed it.

Take care out there! Good friends are hard to come by, so if you have one, let them know how much you love having them in your life.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to 2 things

  1. whine-wine-whatever says:

    So good to have you writing again, my dear friend!

    Like

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