Adult Cyberbullies

Cyberbully

I am beginning to believe that there are some folks out there that are deep, toxic pits of need so great that no amount of anything will ever be enough for them. Rather than take responsibility for their own inhumane and destructive behavior they continue to ask innocent people to suffer just so they can feel justified in having a heart blackened with self loathing and hatred. These people are called bullies and sometimes they are adults.

I was cyberbullied by a woman for the past year. All year long I put up with her posts on 3 separate social networks. A nasty little song she posted with malice and intent to harm and disparage me personally.

I called her out.

I asked her to stop.

I did everything within my own power to shine a light into her darkness so she could see and understand just how deadly her actions were and begged her to seek professional counsel…and she ignored me. Finally, after a year, the song has been removed, but the cost of what she has done remains. No one will ever forget what she did and now there are people that will never trust her again.

She put so many innocent people in jeopardy just so she could lash out at me and all I wanted was for her to leave me alone. That is really a simple request…leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you anymore. You add nothing to my life.

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I just don’t get it and I hope there never comes a day when I understand what makes a person so spiteful.

If you ever wonder what cyberbullying looks like, or feels like, just ask me. Cyberbullying is very real and the people that cyberbully are pathetic, but dangerous.

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How do you know when you’re dealing with an adult cyberbully situation? Here are some things to look for from Bullying Statistics.

There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

  1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
  2. Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
  3. Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
  4. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
  5. Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.

Never be silent about being bullied by an adult. Fighting back against bully tactics is not being a bully if you speak the truth and remain logical. It’s not fighting fire with fire, it’s having your say when someone chooses to defame or publicly humiliate you.

If you are a cyberbully, reconsider your actions. When someone isn’t interested in being your friend and all they want is for you to leave them alone, do yourself a huge favor and walk away. Find people that do want contact and attention from you. Everyone will be a lot better off with that choice.

Note to Becky: Yes, this blog post is about you. Out of 600 posts I’ve written over the last 6 years, only 4 of them, including this one have been about you. I have archived all but this one. As for the post about pegging you are so worried about, that one still exists somewhere out there in cyberspace because I didn’t write it. Good luck with your musical career.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Adult Cyberbullies

  1. Les Linet MD says:

    Madeline,
    With empathy and encouragement to you, I read your blogs on bullying and narcissism. Bullying in its various forms is a vicious form of abuse. You are not alone in many ways.

    Thanks for following me on wordpress.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: A World of Bullies | TamekoTheArtist

  3. whine-wine-whatever says:

    She can’t possibly be content with the rotten life she lives, waking every morning with thoughts of who “done her wrong,” and who she’s going to badmouth and demean. All I can say is, I hope one day she gets “it,” and somehow manages to stop wasting her time bullying people, and moves forward to find a productive life. That might mean working on her self-esteem, or finding people who truly want to be her friend. We only get so much time….Who wants to die with a bitter, hateful ugly heart, and no true friends?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. artsie_ladie says:

    Dear Madeline,
    I SO empathize with you. 😥 ❤ I have had to deal with a person stalking me for over 7 and a half years. His owns the website, http://www.elftown.com among others. I have taken countless measures to try and get it stopped, starting with on the site itself. But when I tried to get help on the site, the staff running the site, then turned on and attacked me, ostracized me and literally assassinated my character, leaving me with not only being victimized by him but then victimized by those running the site and leading the way, was the site's second in command, the vice mayor at the time. I was talked about mostly by staff members in the forums and diaries especially, called crazy, a lunatic, a drama queen, a psychobitch, a liar, etc.. I was even told to 'cease and desist'. So I was not only bullied but was the target for bullying by a group which is called mobbing. The owner also retrieved what I said in my private sources and then shared it with those who were ostracizing me, thus fueling the abusive behaviour, all the while enjoying his spying on me.

    He began invading my privacy "on the site" and then broadened this by hacking into my computer and my phone. (He's a computer programmer with an equivalency of a masters in computer science obtained from Linkoping University, Sweden; lives in Ryd, Linkoping as well.) I purchased a new computer and got a new ISP, but in no time he gained access to my new computer as well even though I never went near his sites with it. No matter what I do, I can't rid myself of this vampiristic leech. He threatened me, told me that if I continued to tell what I know, he would have me thrown off the Internet and permanently ban me from Elftown.com.

    Needless to say, since I refuse to be intimidated by him or anyone else who violate my rights, he has now denied me access to my THOUSANDS of works, both written and art, therefore is stealing my work and the staff has given members permission to "use MY work as they wish", which violates my copyright blatantly, with TOTAL and INTENTIONAL disregard. Not only this he is slandering my name all over the Internet, accusing me of lying and making up conspiracy theories. Meanwhile, I get told by members on the site of staff, past and present, that I need to see a shrink, that I should just drop this, and that there's "nothing they can do", which is all to try and get me to stop trying to get this atrocity stopped and to try and excuse themselves of any blame as well as so they can justify their inaction when they know what he's doing to me. Their apathy is appalling.

    I have taken many measures to get this stopped, including reporting him to the FBI and more recently the FCC and the FCC Agent witnessed first hand the tampering with my phone and even said while I was trying to provide the Agent with his name and information, that it appeared to him that someone was trying to cut off our conversation to try and prevent me from giving the info about the person I was reporting. My phone company's personnel (customer service, techs, and fraud departments) have also witnessed the interferences and are therefore aware of the problem but tell me there is nothing they can do. He messes with my datausage, makes it go through the roof and then I have to pay for it. Dell techs, iYogi techs, and AOL techs are all those also among the ones who have witnessed and are aware of the problem as well.

    Still I'm left with this horrific problem. I have NO privacy whatsoever. He knows and makes it his mission to know everything I do on my computer, gains access to my online accounts, and he also knows everything said on my phone. So not only is invading 'my' privacy but all those who communicate with me. Through data I've collected and friends have collected indicate he is targeting my friends as well. Leeches like this use intimidation tactics to stop themselves from being exposed and should one continue to expose them, they will do anything to discredit anyone who dares to expose them.

    I have been smart to collect, document, and save MEGA amounts of data that overwhelmingly points directly to him as well as countless examples of how I've been ostracized by others for trying to get this stopped, which I've been made fun of as well for saving data. In other words, none of this I've stated here is said without supporting data to back it up. I will continue to fight this profound intrusion and violation of my right to privacy to my last breath if I have to.

    Like

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