I’ve been thinking a lot lately about spiteful people and the legacy they leave in their passing. I wonder sometimes if this is what they meant to accomplish, or if they just thought there would always be enough time to clean up their act. Unfortunately for some of them, there wasn’t enough time and what they left behind ends up being a plethora of untruths and a legacy of hate.
What do I mean by “a legacy of hate”?
A few years ago I started policing my own behavior when it comes to contact with angry and spiteful folks. I know a few and they have proven that they have absolutely no scruples at all. They think nothing of dashing off a nasty email, posting their tirades on Facebook publicly, or writing a nasty song, and sharing it with everyone they know. A legacy of hate is based on boldfaced lies and slanderous accusations. A legacy of hate is steeped in resentment, insecurity and jealousy and has no foundation of proof whatsoever to back it up.
While writing this blog I have remained as truthful as I possibly can, without naming people or trying to damage them publicly. Those that have claimed damages are seriously deluded because unless you own anything I’ve written by laying claim to it yourself, or have made sure to connect to me as a means to cyberbully me, therefore giving me your own permission to tag you, then my writing style is pretty broad and can be applied to numerous folks all over the globe.
I, on the other hand, have been named, identified, libelled, stalked, bullied and smeared, by people intent on leaving behind their own legacy of hate. It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?
It’s not fair, but am I interested in playing their games?
Do I aspire to be just like them?
There have been times in my past that I have been asked to lay low, to be careful or to avoid confrontations and I have obliged. I don’t have a problem minding my own safety and I know what it’s like to continue to engage someone that is mentally unstable. It’s a royal pain in the ass, but sometimes it can also be dangerous. You see, when someone is on the path of destruction, they take everyone down with them and if you’re engaged in any kind of encounter, then you go down too.
I will give you the same advice I received a few years ago when I first realized what was happening to me; CUT OFF ALL CONTACT! That means ALL CONTACT, not just some contact, ALL CONTACT. No emails, no texts, no phone calls, no Facebook, no messages sent through another friend. No Contact. If you aren’t ready and willing to do this, then you are giving that person your permission to continue to gaslight and abuse you.
If you remain in contact with someone that is actively abusing you, then you are participating in your own legacy of hate.
That hits hard, especially for me because I am a crusader. I like to fight back, to expose and to make the bullies uncomfortable. I want to name them and shame them! But to name them gives them exactly what they want and that is a connection to me. Why on Earth would I want a bully to have a connection to me? Even a small one? The answer is simple; I don’t want a connection to a bully, so I will continue to write about what they do in a broad sense and hopefully someone suffering will find me and know that they are not alone out there and that there is hope.
As we all move into another grand year it is my wish to leave behind a legacy of awareness.
I want to give people tools to make their lives healthier and free from being bullied. I’d like to make people strong in their convictions and to eliminate their fear of being bullied by showing you how to create concrete boundaries that keep even the vilest creatures from getting to you. No one says you have to suffer in silence either. You can write about, or talk about your experiences and help others that are going through the same situations by continuing the crusade of myself and many others out here just like me. Do not be silent and do not allow them to survive the light you can blind them with.
More today than any other time in history has the bully finally had the curtain ripped away so they are exposed for who and what they really are. Understanding exactly what you’re dealing with is the first step to recovering from the devastation they can rain down on someone that has no idea what’s happening to them. Whether they were bullied themselves as children, or have extremely low self esteem and anger management issues, it is not up to you to fix them. Your best defense is to remove yourself from their grasp and to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. Then do yourself and those that love you a huge favor and CUT OFF ALL CONTACT!
Bullies are legacies of hate.
If your intention is to leave behind something of value, something to be respected and remembered, then start today by building your own legacy of goodness and love. Make a promise to yourself that this is something you will strive for like it’s your last day on Earth. Make the world a better place for future generations by leaving one LESS legacy of hate.
Good luck out there. Stay safe and remember the best person you can ever count on when it feels like the world is crashing around your feet, is yourself.