Disclaimer: the details in this story have been changed to protect the hurts.
I have been witnessing the decline of a relationship that I was sure was rock solid, and I watched it all play out on Facebook. Neither one of them ever had to say a word to me. In fact, I don’t think they ever brought it up on Facebook, but if you knew them well, you could tell there was some serious issues going on with them.
It all started when she kept posting about needing a roommate. I thought that was just the oddest thing for her to keep posting about, but every month she put something up as an advertisement. A few times I considered warning her about privacy issues when I noticed she wasn’t just posting these pleas to her own friends, she was posting them publicly. That was kind of sketchy.
Then I noticed the forward and really awkward comments she was making on her boyfriend’s pictures. This is someone she lived with and at the time, I thought they were still living together even though she was posting for a roommate. I figured they were just down on their luck and wanted someone to share the expenses until they got back on their feet again. But her comments were bordering on overly attentive and complimentary. They were kind of creepy. The worst part was when he would Like what everyone else wrote, and completely ignore her comment.
Then one day they weren’t friends on Facebook anymore and she hasn’t posted another word since then.
But he sure has been busy on there! I think he posted a selfie about every day and one day there seemed to be quite a few pictures of this new woman. Then there they were, all snuggled up together hugging. His family has already friended her and made comments on their pictures too.
I was like…what the fuck?! It’s only been three months! This guy lived with my friend for almost 6 years and in three months he already has a new girlfriend?
Now I don’t care what happened or why they suddenly split, but there is no excuse for the instant replacement. Jeez, did the guy even take a second to mourn the loss of a relationship that did him more good than he probably deserved. This woman changed his life for the better and he was this quick to replace her! Wow! I think that being with anyone for six years means you take the time to either work it out, or heal from the break up and three months is not healing. Three months is simply being on the prowl for your next conquest.
I knew he was a narcissist for the get-go. Everyone that knows him, knows he’s a narc, but my friend really helped him begin to consider other folks in his life. He mellowed and became less self absorbed. She got him to finally get involved in living a good life and supported his craft so he could pursue his dreams. Together they were stunning!
It makes me sad that this has happened to her too. She does not deserve this slap in the face, especially not from him.
So here’s my advice for her…pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. Obviously, this guy is not worth it and probably never was. I am just as shocked as I can only imagine you are, but trust me, the people that have watched this play out have no more respect for him either. Stand tall and proud and don’t allow this any more energy than to blow the ash from your shoulder.
Relationships shouldn’t be as disposable as people treat them these days. When you connect to someone on an intimate level this is a sacred moment in both of your lives and not to be taken lightly. The day I can throw someone away that I have loved and respected and exchange them for someone brand new in less than three months, will be the day I will need to reevaluate my own morals and principles. It just doesn’t make sense to me that this happens.
Can someone please explain it to me?