stop embracing the BULLY

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I have written many posts about bullies and about fighting back against them and their reign of terror and hatred. Today I’m going to tell you something that was shared with me from a very wise friend. You can fight back and defend yourself, but once you realize the bully is getting off on your reaction to their continued bully tactics, it’s time to stop embracing and engaging the bully.   I fell into that trap.

I fought back and fought back and the bully continued coming up with new ways to get yet another reaction from me. That was all she wanted. She wanted my attention, my time and my focus. Taking my focus meant I might not have time left over to live my life, or to be happy. She craved that. I might not like it and it might make my skin crawl, but I am her focus.

The bully is still out there looking for a reaction from me, but this time she will not get the fix she needs. Not from me anyway. I will no longer embrace the bully or her drama.

She knows what she is.

I know what she is.

There comes a day when you sit back and you think about your blessings. I have many, many things in my life to be grateful for. I am surrounded by wholesome and healthy people. I am healthy because of their grace and friendship. I have a beautiful family and a lovely home with an ocean breeze that blows away almost everything bad. I love my job and am lucky enough to be able to do something I enjoy and feel good about because it allows me to make a lasting and concrete contribution to society so the world might become a better place for all of us.

I have a great life and a lot of living left to do yet, so why would I spend another second of continuing to embrace a bully and all of the ugliness and hatred she shares?

The answer to that question is pretty simple.

I won’t.

Stand up for yourself and the people that love you will always have your back, but know when to walk away from the bully and their toxic behavior before it makes you sick too.

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About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to stop embracing the BULLY

  1. Suzan says:

    as always, WELL said. 🙂

    Like

  2. whine-wine-whatever says:

    Engaging with a bully often gives them the power they seek over an issue or particular person — they have your attention and succeed in getting under your skin. Sometimes, the best option is to fight back, defend yourself. But sometimes, the best option is to completely ignore them. This will disappoint the bully, no end. They no longer have your attention while you happily go about living your life. It’s as if they don’t exist. Too bad, so sad.

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    • This is very true. Although sometimes I feel the need to say something before they get out of hand. I have read recently that people that behave this way are also capable of physical violence and I believe that. I would rather ignore them than add any more fuel to their fury. And you’re right, it is very very sad.

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    • Sometimes we can’t always avoid engaging, but I am hopeful that someday that connection will be severed to the point that I no longer hear the bully at all.

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