I have written many posts about bullies and about fighting back against them and their reign of terror and hatred. Today I’m going to tell you something that was shared with me from a very wise friend. You can fight back and defend yourself, but once you realize the bully is getting off on your reaction to their continued bully tactics, it’s time to stop embracing and engaging the bully. I fell into that trap.
I fought back and fought back and the bully continued coming up with new ways to get yet another reaction from me. That was all she wanted. She wanted my attention, my time and my focus. Taking my focus meant I might not have time left over to live my life, or to be happy. She craved that. I might not like it and it might make my skin crawl, but I am her focus.
The bully is still out there looking for a reaction from me, but this time she will not get the fix she needs. Not from me anyway. I will no longer embrace the bully or her drama.
She knows what she is.
I know what she is.
There comes a day when you sit back and you think about your blessings. I have many, many things in my life to be grateful for. I am surrounded by wholesome and healthy people. I am healthy because of their grace and friendship. I have a beautiful family and a lovely home with an ocean breeze that blows away almost everything bad. I love my job and am lucky enough to be able to do something I enjoy and feel good about because it allows me to make a lasting and concrete contribution to society so the world might become a better place for all of us.
I have a great life and a lot of living left to do yet, so why would I spend another second of continuing to embrace a bully and all of the ugliness and hatred she shares?
The answer to that question is pretty simple.
Stand up for yourself and the people that love you will always have your back, but know when to walk away from the bully and their toxic behavior before it makes you sick too.