Why do these people offend you so much?
This is a question I have heard often and I would like to clarify something…there is a difference between being offended and trying to understand your responsibility for the collapse of the relationship. People that have been abused don’t explore topics because they continue to be offended. They explore them so that they might become a better person, and perhaps less offensive themselves. I know that I don’t like continuing to make bad choices.
Only I know what works for me, and what does not. I usually try to figure out if this is something I am responsible for so that I might work on some of my own faults. I owe this not only to myself, but to other people in my life that I want to remain close to.
I have realized that the particularly twisted ones I have walked away from continue to try to engage me. This doesn’t offend me either. My reasons for ending my friendship with them are validated each and every time they do something that reminds me of why I walked away the first time. It also kind of cements the fact that I am never going to let them or anyone like them, get close to me again.
If you are like me and you seek self improvement and empowerment, you will look for those answers within yourself, and also with other people that have gone through similar circumstances. We all like to compare notes and get advice on how to continue heading towards the light, rather than back down into the dark.
It’s not about being offended, or bothered.
It’s about sharing, growing and getting better through community and community awareness.
Before I started writing about some of the situations I was being thrust into, many of my readers had no idea what a narcissist was, or what a sociopath is. They started taking stock of their own relationships and realized for the first time that they did not have to roll over and get screwed in their rear just to have a friend. They started standing up for themselves and it shocked some of the people that had taken great liberties with them, that were not theirs to have.
One friend told me that after reading some of my posts, she finally stood up to someone that had belittled her for years! She wrote to me that the look on the other woman’s face made her giggle inside and she felt so good about herself at that moment. It was a new day for her and a new path.
Another friend told me that after reading my research and explanations that now she has no problem seeing these toxic traits in some of the folks she has spent time with over the years and that knowing how to deal with them was liberating for her. She wasn’t afraid to speak up anymore and they did not scare her because she knew that she didn’t need them. They needed her! Knowing this freed her to make better friends.
I’m not out here alone. I am one of the many that have chosen to finally start talking about the elephant in the living room. My own desire to speak up has been encouraged and nurtured by writers that are far better at getting a message out than I. It was through them that I have matured as a person and as a writer on these topics and I owe them a huge debt of gratitude. They assured me that there is a light at the end of that tunnel and they waited there for me on the other end while I found my way and my voice.
The bullies, the narcissists and the sociopaths. They have long lorded a reign over some of us with their warlike tactics and it’s time for them to be exposed for what they are. For years they bullied people into submission and silence by ridiculing, humiliating, threatening and lying about anyone that displeased them. It’s time for everyone suffering from the onslaught of a bully to find some peace and understanding. It’s time to start speaking up and letting them know that you’re onto them and you won’t stand for it anymore.
And it’s time for the bully to step off the platform of our lives.
None of us will ever be silent again.
Welcome to a community of awareness 🙂