Someone posted a meme about angry people. It read something like this; if you see someone that is constantly angry, don’t bother with them. They are just mad at themselves and it has nothing to do with you. Move on. I am sure the person posting it was lording themselves as being one of those people moving on and that they would never be the angry one at all. I scrolled down the page and every single post was about angry people, moving on and how angry they were about this and that.
Hm, evidently this person feels the need to post such hooha because they want everyone else to think they’re over it, but the very act of posting this must mean they are still deeply embroiled in whatever they want everyone else to think they are over.
That is what finally made this meme posted below, make sense to me. Well, that and my friend that took the time to explore it with me.
My response when I saw this was essentially cough*bullshit*cough!! I have no idea why, but seeing this meme just pissed me off! I felt righteous! I scrolled past it, but I could not stop thinking about it. So I went back to the post and I made a comment about my indignation. This is what I wrote;
“People are, who they are. Someone I once perceived to be my friendliest friend has stabbed me in my heart, and laughed about it. So how is it that I can see a friend in someone that was never a friend and think that all of this could merely be my own shadow? It is just not possible.
What is possible is knowing and trusting one’s self well enough to be able to walk away from the shadows of others once they prove harmful. All the bad in this world does not rest within your own heart, but your heart does rest where bad dwells and it is up to you to know the difference.”
Usually I can just scroll on past memes like this, but that day this particular meme triggered me and not in a good way. I was so tired of people telling me that whatever was bothering me was within me and not the other person’s fault. Yeah, right! Are you fucking kidding me? Free the wolves so they can kiss my ass. That’s what I think about it.
My friend, who is always so zen and grounded, wrote this back to me;
“I hear you and agree with you but if you look at the “shadow” as fear and you believe that you draw into your life what you fear so you can overcome it then you will continue to draw those people into your life until you no longer fear drawing those people into your life. So not so much a reflection of yourself as a reflection of your fear.”
(When someone starts out by telling me they hear me, I tend to listen closer to what they are getting ready to share with me. You guys might wanna give that part a try sometimes because it really does work.)
I was totally onboard with what she said! I understood exactly how that whole scene could now be interpreted without the need for me to curl up my nose and scoff at it anymore. Epiphany!!!
Later I was triggered again, but it was a light touch this time. I was so amazed at myself for the way I handled it and the fact that I didn’t have a screaming meemee meltdown that I called one of my closest friends to brag a little about my growth spurt. This friend has a Masters in Psychology, and she is also one of the most empathetic and caring individuals on the planet Earth. This is what she told me:
“Omg! I am so happy to hear you’re having an easier time with this! But I have to tell you that even the fact that you got triggered a little bit means that you are still not through with it yet.”
There it was again…the wolf was not free yet.
BUT the wolf was closer to being cut loose than before and that is a very good thing.
Being triggered means something, and it can be anything, that reminds you of an unpleasant issue in your life. Being triggered brings you back to that uncomfortable place along with the uncomfortable feelings.
Time heals all wounds. Sometimes they will leave a scar, but eventually the scar is just another part of you and not something you pay much attention to anymore. You get used to it being there, you know how it got there, but you don’t feel or remember the pain as vividly as before. Everyday that trigger becomes a little less likely to fire on you.
This is when being triggered becomes less of a part of your daily life.
This is when you know you are truly done with it.
The wolf gets set free.
~Dedicated to my good friends. One with a voice that will make you think you died and went to heaven and the other with a smile so brilliant, it’s like falling into a vortex of sunshine.