A while back I decided to start working on myself a little bit. I had already dragged myself through the arduous task of making and keeping personal boundaries. Oh, I could make them with no problem!! It was keeping them that I had to work on. I had spent endless hours bemoaning the loss of people I cut out of my life that were mentally unhealthy, but in order for me to live a whole life, I had to get rid of the toxic influences. I whined and dug my heels when I started recognizing toxic traits of my own. But I worked on improving my own outlook on life in order to begin fresh with picking better friends. It was a lot of purging and very little going back in that I was ready for.
Changing one’s own nasty habits is never easy.
The first thing I did for myself was I started being honest with myself about my own behavior.
When I started ridding myself of toxic friends, I realized that my new/old circle of friends are not only mentally healthy, but most of them are physically more healthy too. Instead of always hearing about how unhappy someone was, or how much they hated themselves, or someone else, I started hearing stories about working out, eating right, and making improvements in their lives that were all about living better.
The second thing I did for myself was I stopped spending my time with people that made me unhappy.
I stopped smoking.
I have not smoked a cigarette (with the exception of one pack in August) in almost 2 years. That’s huge!! I had quit once before a long time ago and started back for no other reason than I liked chatting with one of my friends on the loading dock while she smoked throughout the day. One cigarette was all it took to get me right back on the smoking bandwagon. Sheesh! Trust me, if you don’t smoke, never start and if you quit smoking, never think you can smoke just one and be done. Once you take that first puff, you trigger all of those old cravings.
I have lost a lot of weight!
I have never been a dieter, even though over the last few years I probably should have put more effort into it.
I have been eating healthier and managing my caloric intake for about 9 months now and I am pleased to announce that I have lost 20 pounds! The best part is that I have lost the weight slowly and under a doctor’s care. Losing it slowly means there’s little chance of it coming back. Over the holidays I didn’t gain a single pound and even maintained my loss! That was a milestone for me.
The third thing I did for myself was I started facing my own issues with being healthy, inside and out.
This year I decided to move forward with projects that always seemed to get put on hold, or road blocked, or simply forgotten about. I have worked more on my own artistic endeavours and we started aggressively pursuing designing our new home. I am ready to move forward into this new life I am creating for myself and my family and for once, I am excited about the possibilities.
My professional life is steady and successful and I have always liked the people I work with and for. I can not name a better group of folks to share business with. They are supportive and progressive in all the areas where you need those extra bumps up. And I do love my job. I feel like I make a difference in the world, even though it’s a small one, it’s there.
The fourth thing I did for myself was I started looking beyond my own nose and really appreciating the life I have.
I can make a lot of good things happen, not just for me, but for everyone in my life that I love. I am grateful for the life I have now. It feels full, healthy and forward moving. I am no longer stalled in the traffic, being run over, by negativity. I have stopped living in the past and rarely, if ever take a glimpse backwards. Whenever I do, I am reminded of why I left so much of that behind me and keep plugging forward.
It’s not hard to do, but I will confess that this hasn’t been easy for me either. If you do the work though, the reward is a better life. I think all of us deserve to have a better life. Once you decide to make your own happiness into your priority number one, you’re halfway there already.
I wish all of you out there the best of everything!