What YOU can do for YOURSELF right now

093

I want to share with you something you can start doing for yourself right now. This moment, right here. It’s something that costs nothing, but pays huge dividends once you implement the process into your daily life. It’s hard to do at first, but once you get started, you’ll wonder why you never did this before.

Start being more open about what you’re feeling, or how you feel about something.

I have never truly been that closed off, but I found out there are many people that are. They live behind these walls they created in order to hide what they’re feeling, or hide from what they’re feeling. I had walls too.  

There are some adjustments to make here. You can be open, just be selective about who you are open with. Remember there are folks out there that like to pretend they care just so they can gather intel they can use against you later. When I ask you to be open about how you’re feeling, being open with people you absolutely know love and care about you, is the best way to go. For instance, someone leaning over in a bar somewhere saying “Wassa matter honey? You can tell me all about it.” is not my idea of someone that loves and cares about you. That’s usually someone looking for some good gossip to spread around. You know the type, right? They want to be the One in the Know and juicy details about people always make them more popular with other people. Avoid oversharing with folks like that.

Once you begin opening up and letting whatever you’re feeling come to life, you’ll find out that if you’re hurting, it ends quicker. You get it out and you don’t allow it to sit inside those walls you built around it and fester.

Knowing how to pick your battles is also a great way to start being open about how you feel.

For instance, I loaned a friend a large sum of money. It wasn’t something I couldn’t do easily, but it was enough money that it hurt to let it go. My friend decided that they couldn’t pay me back and rather than just be open about that fact, they trashed our friendship instead. This way they got to feel justified in not giving me the money back. It was immature on their part, but I understood that for someone like them, this was a standard operating procedure since I had watched them do the same thing to other friends before me. I was open with some of my close friends about how much this hurt me and my friends were very supportive and pretty pissed about this person’s actions. They asked me to pursue getting my money back using legal avenues, but this didn’t appeal to me. It would have drug the process out for months, maybe years and frankly, after the way this person treated me, I wasn’t interested in maintaining a connection with them any longer. I knew that no matter what I did, this person was never going to do the right thing.

My serenity was worth more than the money I lost.

I was picking my battles wisely.

If I had not already started to be open about how I feel about certain things, this incident would be something that continued to bother and eat at me to this day. But I already knew where this would end up and decided weeks after it happened that there was not a single move I could make, except to move on. And that is exactly what I did. There are some days that I miss the friendship, but they aren’t as frequent as I thought they would be. I think that if I had been honest with myself years before loaning the money, I would have realized that I had been walking on eggshells and dancing around truths about this friend for a very long time.

When you are truly open about what you feel, the first person that you need to be open with is yourself.

I know that everyone out there has people in their lives, or situations going on, that they refuse to acknowledge for fear of rocking the boat a little. My advice is to start by rocking the boat gently, and work your way up to nearly capsizing, so you find that happy medium that allows you to be open with yourself, and the people you love most. Once you get there, the rest is smooth sailing.

Advertisements

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to What YOU can do for YOURSELF right now

  1. Hello,
    I am not a blogger, nor am I techie, so when I opened my account I somehow made my self a blogger? Don’t ask? Maybe one day I’ll figure it out, (hopefully soon), I work my iPhone better than my desk top or laptop. I started following you because I don’t have FB, and didn’t know what a “troll” is, and enjoyed several of your other articles, (okay posts, I am old). Umm let’s see, I can relate to your article today. I have learned if I “loan” you $, it’s a gift, we can say it’s a “loan”, but I really don’t intend to get it back, even though I will pay you back. If I am your friend, and you tell me things in confidence and we become “not friends”, I do not betray the confidence we had because the friendship is over. I feel it’s childish, and why would anyone want to be my friend ever again after doing such a horrible thing. Which is similar to what you mention. In gaining “Intel” there is being informed about things going on in your life, (which is why I am currently not commenting a whole lot right now, I am preparing for litigation. (Ex husband drama). Surprising it has nothing to do with custody, yet. Then there is gathering information to destroy another person, I don’t do the latter, I have better things to do with my time.
    About me, I have 4 children, my older 2 children boys (now 23, 21, then 15,17) were abducted by my mother and her boyfriend, my oldest son, his dad, works for Sherrifs Office had his missing persons case taken out of MUPS, with no custody papers (I have them). While my second son, (the used car sales men fast talker) talked the officer into taking his report out, because kid 2, is a Narcisstic Sociopathic, thanks to my ex husband, all the while, everyone knew where they was living, except me, (I know, the police department, failed to call me, they thought I knew). I found out my youngest sons senior year, when my 6 year old daughter, told me he had his drivers license. My older boys still feel they have to “take care” these people. They are grown men, I can’t help them, (lol, I try they get mad, so like you said I pick and choose my battle). I took my younger son out of this enviormwnt for a year, senior year of high school, it did nothing.
    My ex husband (our 2 children, 10 boy and 13 girl) is another post, maybe a whole book.
    I read others bloggers posts, maybe for Intel or research, purposely for the reason, my opioion is not the only one, I am naturally curious of other’s thoughts, not just the ones around me, (I live in a small minded community), but the world, and not just about custody or parental alienation, just everything, I follow quite a few range of topics. I just like to read about everything. I even read about the draft so I can keep up with my sons and my boyfriend, My daughter is interested in dance, cheerleading, yoga, crossfit!! I had a c5-c6 spinal fusion a few years ago, I think she wants to hurt me, super bad!!

    Have a great day!!
    NIBSIH.

    Like

    • Oh my! Big comment. Lemme see if I can successfully navigate a response to you.

      First thing I want to make sure you know is that because I know nothing about you, doesn’t mean I think you’re a troll. 🙂 But now with the info you shared I think the fact that you are out here searching for answers is so amazing and honorable! You rock mama!!

      Oh, and for sure, it was a loan and not a gift. I even heard the words “I will pay you back.” I just didn’t know at the time I would be paid back with hatefulness. 🙂 Live and learn baby!!

      Sending you loads of love ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

      • Lol, I had to download a “urban dictionary” I know it’s not a cool thing. The most horrid word they have created! Yuk! I have also learned if I don’t have it to give, I say NO! sometimes the loan comes back when I need it most? Go figure? I too have been paid back with hatefulness, for giving everything I had to give. It’s a concept that is foreign, and one I am still searching for answers! Sorry, I am one of those unorganized random thought people!

        Kids off to school, ahh coffee time!!

        Enjoy your day!!

        NIBSIH!!😊

        Like

      • Thank you so much for stopping by and including me in your morning!! 🙂

        Like

      • Regarding the “troll” article, it randomly came up, and I had never seen it, and I was like “oh new word” then I explored your blog, decided to follow you. So that’s how I found your blog! Enjoy your blogs ever since!

        😊

        Like

      • Thank you so much ❤ Glad to have you onboard!!

        Like

  2. whine-wine-whatever says:

    Great blog entry!

    Like

I think it's so nice to see your thoughts! Please share!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s