One of the Search Terms for my blog was this:
“how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”
Sometimes I wish I could privately respond to these people searching for answers, but alas, I can not. So I will write this post and add those tags so that anyone wanting to know how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign can get the answers they seek.
The answer to that question is that you can NOT win that fight. In fact, there are NO winners there. Not the narcissist waging war, not the people/flying monkeys that participate and certainly not the person being victimized and bullied.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut your losses and walk away. Don’t ever look back because like my friend Paula will tell you, narcissists never get better and they never change. To go back or try to win is setting yourself up for even more heartache.
What happens when you try to beat the narcissist at a game they’re experts at playing?
You open the door for them to abuse you even more.
You give them ammunition to use against you.
You make yourself crazy.
What can you do for yourself once you become the object of a malignant narcissist in a smear campaign?
- Cut off all contact. Do not call, email, visit or send messages of any kind.
- Do not retaliate. The more you try to defend yourself, the more they’ll malign you to others.
- Beware the “concerned mutual friend” that wants to help or mediate. They are just looking for drama and are most likely what I like to call “a flying monkey”.
- Concentrate on yourself. How are you feeling? Do you need extra attention and assistance to recover from this abuse? Are you taking care of you? The stronger you are mentally and physically, the quicker you can get on with life without the hurtful abusive behavior of the narc.
- Do NOT go and look! Do not check out their social media posts. Do not ride by their house. Do not have friends spy on them to find out what they’re doing. I know this sounds awful and who would do that, but someone that is living in fear becomes hypervigilent and watching is a way to feel secure. Except watching is not healthy and it doesn’t guarantee you any kind of security. It also steals precious moments away from you that could be spent doing something that makes you happy.
- You might believe, and you might even be told, that the narc will get bored, or tired, or they will find another victim, and go away, but they won’t and they don’t. They will always be a malignant narcissist and you will always be someone they freely attack whenever they see an opportunity.
- Don’t react to their taunts. Unless they are breaking the law or physically causing you harm, ignore them. They aren’t worth the mental anguish and they do not deserve to steal your power.
If you want be a winner, you have to start loving yourself enough to know that walking away from that fight is the best thing you can do for YOU. That’s what makes you a winner.