Why keep people on your Facebook friend list that you don’t even like, but even worse, people that have proven over and over again that they don’t like you either? This is a conundrum that I will never understand. Why not just delete them? Then you can move on and they can move on too.
I am guilty of doing this myself. I would kid myself that it was all in my head. Then one of them would slam the crap out of something I would post, or embarrass me in front of the rest of my friends by being openly hostile. Or I would see them post something intentionally mean about me on another friend’s page. But I’d still keep them on my friend list. Why? I have no clue today why I put myself through it, but I did.
I don’t do that anymore.
Some folks tell me it’s a “keep your enemies closer” mentality. I have written posts about this being done on Facebook before. Let me clue you in. Keeping people around that don’t like you and allowing them a window into your life, like Facebook, is just stupid. That’s right. I think you’re stupid for continuing to practice some Sun Tzu tactic on a social network that’s supposed to be all about being social and having fun.
Have you considered that keeping a bunch of borderline and full-on sociopaths on your friend list means that not only do you expose your life to them, but you expose the people that you love too?
Your loved one might have removed people from their life they consider toxic for the same reason any sane person would have removed them and if you keep all of them, well then how does your loved one fit in with your social networking now? Wouldn’t you think for a minute that they might be unable to participate because you’re still open to the hostility these folks have already shown you they’re capable of?
Keeping people on your friend list that have shown you how much they disrespect you doesn’t make you the bigger person. It simply makes you a target for future smear campaigns.
Do you have people on your friend list that have posted sharp and demeaning comments without provocation on your posts?
Do you have people on your friend list that have openly flayed you in front of your own peers in a group, or on a public page?
Do you have people on your friend list that constantly insult you or make fun of you?
Do you have people on your friend list that have disrespected you, or your family, in real life?
If you answered Yes to any of the above questions then I have just one more question for you.
When did you lose your own self respect?
Delete those assholes! You owe nothing to anyone on a social network and if you tell me that it’s about business or work, I’m going to call bullshit on you. If you have people on your friend list that fit into any of the categories I just described and you feel strongly that you can not delete them, then you would be better served to put ALL OF THEM on a Restricted list so they can NOT cause further harm.
Here are directions for putting people on a Restricted List:
1. While logged into your account, go directly to the person’s Facebook page.
2. Click the Friends button with your mouse to open Lists.
3. Scroll down the Lists and choose Restricted.
Or you can do it this way:
1. While logged into your account, click on the Lock symbol in the upper righthand corner on the blue header.
2. Choose How to stop someone from bothering me.Then choose See More Settings. This will take you directly to your Privacy functions.
3. In the left-hand column choose Blocking.
4. The top of this list explains the Restricted list and how it works. To the right is an Edit button. Click this.
5. This shows you everyone on your friend list and you can click on as many people as you want to Restrict.
What do people see that you put on the Restricted list? There’s a function in Facebook you can use to see what a particular person can see, but I can tell you that all they can see from that moment forward, or backwards on your past profile posts, is anything you post Publicly. They can’t see anything else.
So if it’s a matter of being the bigger person, or because of work, you simply don’t have to be available to anyone you don’t want to be available to on a social network. They can remain connected, but they do not have the privilege of participating or voyeuristically stalking, your private life or that of the people you love.
There is not a rule anywhere that says you have to keep people around that you don’t like, or that make you feel uncomfortable. On a social network you have the right to be complicit in your own surveillance. I suggest you consider how much more fun it can be when you’re not constantly worried about gossipy assholes.