Bullies love the holidays

How many of us out here have always dreaded the holidays simply because we have family members that are overbearing and aggressive bullies? Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone. The worst part of it all is that bullies really look forward to the holidays because this is their chance to sink their claws into family members they love to beat up on. Whether it’s just a rude and obnoxious relative, or a tyrannical whiner that ruins the day with their constant demands to be the center of attention, bullies can make every family gathering a real pain in the ass, but holidays are an especially large stage to carry out their theatrics.

With everyone applauding the whole “family togetherness” all around us, from television commercials to the mom saying we need to forgive and forget,Β many of us will hunch our backs, grit our teeth, and come to the family dinner on Thanksgiving Day this year. We will subject ourselves to yet another feast that leaves us with sour indigestion and in desperate need of a month to recover from the damage to our sense of self, just from dealing with the holiday bullies.

I’m here to tell you that this year you have my permission to make other plans.


Do it today!

Plan a meal with loving and supportive friends instead. Surround yourself with folks that respect and actually like to be around you without being compelled to tear you to shreds just to make their petty, whiny selves feel superior.

There is no law, written or unwritten, that says the holidays have to be spent around family. When family is a broken and dysfunctional shell that beats on your heart rather than making your heart beat, leave them to their own devices and have a happier holiday this year. Family is great for a lot of things, but in order for them to be great, they have to be nice. If they aren’t nice, then pick yourself a brand new family from the good friends you have made along the way of this rocky road we all call living.

I am thankful for the good friends I have in my life. I am thankful for all of you guys out there today reading this and knowing that it’s okay to avoid family drama and have a great time this year. I am thankful for the parts of my own biological family that I am still connected to and I am thankful most of all for having a loving and supportive partner to share my own holiday magic with this year and every year to come.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Bullies love the holidays

  1. Human says:

    Thank you for bringing out into the open this dreaded aspect of family life! Imagine how different the world would be if we all were as sensible, confident, and committed as Meryl Streep?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your relatives. Bullies have a captive audience in their relations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to think I was being held hostage every single holiday, but then I decided that I only need to be present when I know it’s going to be pleasant and if the bully is coming, then I make other plans. When we are children this kind of behavior is something we have to suffer, but once we become adults with a mind of our own, we do not have to suffer one more second of a bully’s bullshit. Let them consume each other. I can find better places to be and with stellar people.

      Happy holidays to you Prayer Warrior πŸ™‚ May they be merry and free from bully drama.


      • Human says:

        You are lucky to have good alternatives to destructive family holiday gatherings. For many, the only other option is a very lonely one.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Madeleine, I really identified with your article. Bullying within the family seems to be still under a social taboo. People don’t recognise that obnoxious people have relatives, and those people are the first and perennial targets.
        I had this problem in childhood. As a child I resolved that when I became an adult I would exercise my right to associate and not associate – and not spend a minute longer than necessary in the company of blighters. This included resolving to remain childless.
        Good article. It is a comfort when someone else honestly identifies a problem you have suffered. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I grew up in a family of bullies and had broken ties with their holiday traditions long before meeting my husband. I was so happy to be a part of his family and it was years before I realized that I was in the presence of the most malignant bully I have ever known. It’s not enough to just make me miserable, this person has to make everyone miserable with their demands and ultimatums. Since I am no stranger to making other plans, that’s what I will be doing from now on πŸ™‚ it doesn’t bother me one bit to spend my holiday with people that actually like me and want to be around me. I think this is what the holidays are all about. The nastiness of someone else can be left for someone else because I really have no time for them anymore. I only wish they could see how much of their own time they are wasting by being so toxic.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. cindy knoke says:

    Oh this is brave and so good of you to post. You can always be seditious and only invite those family members you want to be around. Sedition in the service of sanity and happiness is not sedition at all, it is smart and often necessary! ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pingback: Bullies love the holidays | Beat the Bullies

  5. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Unfortunately this does apply to quite a few families – festive occasions should be just that.. a time to be with people you love and treasure.. duty does have its limits especially when it can cause so much grief.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy Thanksgiving. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jet Eliot says:

    Well said, well said.

    Liked by 1 person

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