“If one person calls you a horse’s ass, be curious. If three people … be reflective. After five people … buy a saddle.”
There are folks in this world that seem to think that just because a little time goes by, that they can pretend nothing ever happened. They think they can just waltz back in without so much as an insincere apology. I always want to ask them who parented them. What parent teaches a child that it’s socially acceptable to crap on a friend and come back months later and pick up where they left off? In some cases, this is probably okay, but if you took a great big crap on someone, it’s sooooo not okay. No, not even a little bit.
When did people stop respecting personal boundaries and start behaving like a horse’s ass?
Here’s the other side of that discussion. Why do you think that the person’s significant other, or spouse, is someone that it’s okay to sidle up to once you’ve crapped on their other half? Do you think the spouse has any love or respect for you? If you took a great big stinky on someone’s significant other, it doesn’t give you a free pass with them either. Taking a great big crap on someone’s significant other is just the same as taking a great big crap on them too. I guess you might know that if you ever had a spouse or a significant other either now or in the past. Odds are, you haven’t, or you’d get it.
You see all those huge piles of steaming turds positioned like land mines all over your pasture? Those are the numerous craps you’ve taken on your so-called friends. If you don’t actively take part in cleaning them up, it takes decades and a lot of raining tears for them to dissolve and become just another piece of the landscape. Do yourself a favor and don’t wait that long before owning your own shit and apologizing for being a horse’s ass.
While the words “I’m sorry” are a great place to start, try to say them with meaning. They are more than just words when you’re trying to make up for your bad behavior. They are an apology for not respecting personal boundaries. Those few words are there to assist you in making up for the times you hurt someone. How would you want them said to you?
Refrain from asking your friends to speak on your behalf. When did that ever become okay?! Own your own shit. Asking your friend to say that you’re sorry for you, makes your friend look like a horse’s ass. Besides, if you felt someone owed you an apology, would you want to hear it from one of their friends? Or from them? I think anyone that tries to play peacemaker under these circumstances deserves a swift kick in the rear. And if you asked them to do it, then you deserve a swift kick in the head.
It’s true that time heals all wounds, but scars remain. While those might fade with time, I think it’s unrealistic to expect the same kind of friendship you once had. When you receive open and honest trust from a person and all you give back is duplicity, disrespect and lies, then the most you can hope for is a smile. Even that is better than the nothing you have right now.
On both sides, I recommend healing from within and then moving on with your life at a gallop.
There’s no reason to hang on to someone that shows you how toxic they can be. Listen to an apology, if they ever offer one. Odds are, they never will. But never forget what they did to you or how it felt, or what it taught you about life and about yourself.
As for the horse’s ass, I recommend some soul searching about what you think a friend is. Chances are you have no idea. But one thing is apparently true for you and that is that you can’t be a good friend if you aren’t friends with the most important person in your life….YOU. People that are bad friends have never sorted out a good connection with themselves.
Until next time always remember that walking away from drama and the people that cause it is never a waste of your time. Peace to my peeps!! Stay strong and happy!!