HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!
I took a short vacay from writing over the holidays and decided to totally immerse myself in the reasons for the season and to be totally present for the people I love most in the world.
The months of November and December are a whirlwind of activity for my family and friends, starting with this year’s travel back “home” to visit and give thanks for our family back in Texas. Thanksgiving was spent on the beach there, frying up whole turkeys and getting and giving back a whole lotta love.
December is all about Christmas and birthdays and wedding anniversaries, so we stay super busy. This year was another epic celebration of friends, family and love.
I have to confess…it was the perfect wrap-up to a perfect year for me!
I’m not kidding and this is not overkill. You guys know me well enough through my writing that if it’s not going well, I’m going to share that with you along with my own research for solutions on how to fix it. I truly believe that if you’re not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem. This year held fewer and fewer problems I felt needed to be explored than any year in a long, long time.
Let’s start with why this happened…
When I was rather new at this thing called boundaries, I would constantly be on guard and watchful. I became hyper-vigilant and defensive for a long time. The people I was dealing with were extremely toxic and nasty. So I was always on the lookout for their constant push and shove to get my attention.
I stopped doing that.
I realized that it does no good, especially to me. They are never going to give up their heinous behavior. They will remain bitter and butt hurt. It doesn’t matter who is looking at them either. They put that garbage out there on a daily basis fishing for their next mark. They wallow in revisiting the scene of the crime, just like a serial killer does.
I have no desire to do that anymore and besides that, they do not deserve my attention anymore.
I moved on.
I realized and learned to appreciate the good friends I actually do have. I call them my “brain bleach”! They were the people there all along that supported me and nurtured me through my many growth spurts creating safer boundaries for myself over the last few years. I am a stronger, healthier and more open person now than I was three years ago and it’s all thanks to them.
We all have that one good friend, or several good friends, that have absolutely no agenda, except to be a good friend. Find one that you can bounce your fears off of and listen to what they tell you. I think it also goes without saying, but you need to be a good friend too. Practice active listening with your friends and put yourself in their shoes when they are asking for your advice.
Someone that constantly revisits trouble by stirring up more trouble, and never offering a single positive note about how to avoid the trouble, is giving you a big clue about who they really are. This person is not someone you’ll want to spend a lot of quality time around, simply because they don’t bring quality to the table.
2015!! Best year yet!!! More is coming my way and your way for sure!!
So get out there this year and make some better changes in how you approach life on a daily basis. There is some truth to YOLO!!