The circle of friends that I trust and respect has gotten smaller over the last few years. I was struggling with making good choices when it comes to my own tribal members, so I decided to just back off a bit, be myself, and try to remain objective about what was happening in some of my personal relationships. It didn’t take long for me to figure it out.
The road blocks I kept hitting were with people from my past, those awesome renewed friendships resulting from the opening of a Facebook account. I remember the good old days though. These were people I grew up around. I actually knew them! Back then I made friends by the dozens with absolutely no effort at all. I probably lost friends by the dozens too, but for some strange reason (or stroke of blind luck) I don’t seem to remember the pain and anguish of losing anyone. I always thought that if you were with me, you were damn lucky to have me as a friend. I was a good friend, and I am still a good friend. Except today, I think I’m probably a better friend than I used to be.
The nostalgia of these renewed friends has caused me to make some poor decisions. Thinking I could still trust them like I always did, or believe what they told me, was so fresh for me. Finding out that some of my old pals grew into full blown and unrealized sociopaths, liars, thieves and the like, was debilitating to my psyche. I had to rehabilitate myself and rewire my brain when it came to dealing with something as innocently commonplace as…a friend.
It was also apparent that some old friends just can’t be bothered if it has nothing to do with their daily life. That was a surprise.
Asking a Facebook friend to look over something I had written and expecting some sound and helpful advice was a huge letdown. The response was a full seven minutes of their time to tell me they didn’t have time to tell me anything. This taught me not to ask anymore. It also taught me that just because I care deeply and might go the extra mile for an old friend, they probably aren’t that interested in dipping a toe in the pond for me. You just have to be okay with that.
I watched old friends side against old friends with someone they only knew from Facebook and had never laid eyes on. They couldn’t be bothered with meeting this new person, or researching perhaps if they were even a real person and not just some fake name sporting a stolen picture.
And so it became the norm that I could no longer be bothered to navigate the quagmire that is Facebook.
Oh I’m still on there! But today I am surrounded only by the truest of true friends. I know 95% of the people I am friends with and have laid eyes on them. We banter and support one another and I feel no anxiety at all about the news I share on there anymore. I have no worries that someone is two faced or psycho, and that’s saying something! I went from having almost two thousand friends to less than one hundred and that suits me so well.
If you are my friend on Facebook, you are indeed, a friend.
I just can’t be bothered with anything less than that.