Never been a Cliquer

monkey in bars

I just re-read the title of this post and had to grin. When I first had this idea it was back in March of 2015. I visited my blog and made a new post, then saved it as a draft to be finished later when I had more time to write. As you can see, I never revisited this particular draft, until today, one year and five months later.

I’m trying to remember what was going on back in March of 2015 that would have triggered me so much that I felt compelled to write about it. This isn’t a new subject for me. In fact, I would swear I’ve written about it before.  

It was actually six years ago that I sat down and wrote the post entitled; We Are Not Monkeys.

“Some people need a crowd around them to feel they are a part of something bigger. If this crowd carries with it the prestige of being exclusive then to participate and be accepted you can now express your own superiority to the masses by letting them know that to be a part of your crowd comes with a price and perhaps it is one that most can not afford to pay. They also use this new found in-ness to bolster their own low self esteem and in some cases they use it as revenge for perhaps not being popular when they were younger.”

In 2011 I wrote The Meaning behind the Private Joke.

I even re-posted the part about What to Do because some of it makes sense to me. Tell an adult is good advice. It was even good advice for me at the time. I needed to tell an adult because the folks I was dealing with were definitely immature.

What kind of an adult builds a clique, or wants to be a member of a clique?

Believe it or not, the answer to this question is the same for adults as it is for children that do it.

“…sometimes kids form groups that they won’t let other kids belong to. A clique is a group of kids who hang out together and won’t let others join in. Sometimes kids in the clique are mean to kids they think are on the outside.”

Cliques are formed by people who are insecure with who they are. They use the  group to build themselves up, to make others take notice. They will even bring folks into the clique that will add a bit of panache and make others want to join. The problem is, the people that want to join are usually the ones the clique leader is trying to keep out.”

In 2013 I wrote a No Resolution life.

“Just like me, you are worth it too. The only thing you have to do is believe you’re worth it and start living like you’re worth it. Break away from the cliquey, self serving groups of people that make you feel bad and start drawing in the friends that make you feel good to be alive instead. Stop living in a constant grudge and release the ones that make you want to exact a payback by hurting them as much as you hurt. Forgive yourself for being angry, for being petty, for being vengeful, for being hateful and for being human.

Be happy and share your life with happy people.”

In 2014, I was still harping on this same subject. This seemed to be something I took great issue with, so I wrote; the Word Secret.

“Like I said, I have a real problem with secrets like this that are used to exclude people. My issue probably stems from the fact that I can’t stand to be manipulated or controlled, especially when the person executing the secret crap is an asshole. I also do not enjoy excluding people that have every right to enjoy an event as much as I do. I think exclusion is just petty and trite.”

I guess you can gather that I have struggled with and explored this topic for many years. I still haven’t remembered what was going on in March of 2015 that prompted me to revisit this same subject again, but whatever it was just did not have a big enough impact on me to make it happen. I think I am finally at peace with the knowledge I have and the tools I have collected in order to deal with the population that tend to gather into toxic cliques.

I have never been a cliquer and now I am happily moving on.

Note: All quoted articles are linked to in their titles. Just press the link and read the entire post. Enjoy!


About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
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