The blush of youth and love are two of the most intoxicating emotional states we can enter into. The eyes of lust and wanting cloud our best judgement at times and down the rabbit hole we fall. It is those times it becomes important for the light of heart to take a moment and remember why we fell in love. Was it the way they moved when they walked across the room? Was it the feeling of their warm breath on our neck? Did they reach out to hold us at just that right moment?
When I think back to the reasons I fell madly in love with my husband I can’t even count all of the tiny nuanced occasions that made my heart pitter patter.
Was it the day we met? Did I fall in love when he leaned in to kiss my hand at the front door? Was it the night at the movies when he had secretly tucked tissues in his pocket to pull out at just the right time during the film when he knew I would cry? Was it when he wanted to make a meal for me, instead of going to a restaurant? Was it his hair? His soulful eyes?
Do you remember the moment you fell in love?
I think as time passes in some relationships we tend to forget those moments, rather than celebrate them. Sometimes we want more than those tiny instances of a past. We start making demands and asking for changes. It becomes less about love and more about us and our expectations of the other person. Pretty soon the arguments and the resentment creeps in. When did they become such a horrible person? When did you start walking that very thin line between love and hate?
I had already had a few failed relationships when my future husband came into my life. I wasn’t looking for a new beau then, so I kept myself from making that essential emotional investment in the beginning. But as I got to know him and his heart I knew he was the one for me. I also knew what I didn’t want in my new relationship and those were the keys I kept in my heart as our love for each other grew.
I rarely blog about my marriage because it is something very sacred to me.
I will tell you this…the secret to my marriage and the fact that his face still lights up when I come into the room, is that I have always celebrated those small moments in our life together. I have never tried to change him. I am his biggest champion. No matter what it is he wants to try in life, I will be there to stand and applaud, even if it’s something I don’t really like. He does the same for me.
I knew I didn’t want to be with someone that told me what to do, or how to act, or policed the way I looked on the outside. I wanted someone to love me even if I slipped. On the flipside of that, I wanted someone I could love if they slipped. Isn’t that what love is supposed to feel like? YES! That’s what it feels like!
We are two people, two very different individuals, and yet when we come together we are invincible. I accept him just the way he is and he accepts me the same way. There are no demands and no expectations, but there is mutual respect and admiration. That is what love feels like. That is what marriage is. Marriage, while being a merge of two lives, business and all, is also a merging of the heart.
So today as you gaze across the room at the person you fell in love with so many moons ago, try to remember what made you fall in love with this person you’re spending your life with. I think you’ll discover a whole new and better way of looking at your relationship with the one person that promised to always be there for you, no matter what.
This is Madeline Laughs and here’s wishing you many nights of passion and many years of feeling safe within the comfortable arms of that person that loves you.