who is the Loser?

A touching moment as a tiny Piping Plover chick snuggles into its parent on a sandy beach in the early morning sunlight.

A touching moment as a tiny chick snuggles into its parent on a sandy beach in the early morning sunlight.

Who is the loser?

Is the loser the person that has spent the last twenty years telling everyone how much she hates me?

Or am I the loser because for the last twenty years I believed it every time she told me how much she loved me? I looked forward to her hugs and kisses. I told people she was my best friend and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have her in my life. I would have done anything to help her. I loved her like she was my own mother.

And when I would exit the room, she would loudly tell everyone, once again, how much she despised me.

So, who is the loser here?  

Is it me for blindly trusting and believing she was the sincere and loving person she pretended to be to my face? Is it me for standing in front of her friends and family and broadly smiling with joy and happiness because I was basking in the warmth of her love and kindness? People that knew how much she truly loathed me. People that heard the untrue stories and lies she told them about me. People that never had the balls to come to me and tell me what she was doing all these years. Is it me for believing every word she told me and for disliking anyone that tried to hurt her? Is it me for disliking all those people that stood and watched me smiling broadly, basking in her love and kindness, because she told me how much she hated all of them too?

Who is the loser?

Is it her for taking advantage of someone that loved her? Is it her for lying to my face? Is it her for filling her own heart with so much hatred and filth that she could never return to the beginning and love me, the way I loved her? Is it her for being so vile and contemptuous that she felt compelled, even driven, by her own bottomless black soul?

Who is the loser?

Is it the person that stood in the face of love, even though it was contrived and fake, and felt powerful and secure in the knowledge that nothing could ever, would ever, shake their connection to each other?

Or is it the person that spent over two decades of her life living under a dark cloud of vile hatred, despair and jealousy?

A photo by Ray Hennessy. unsplash.com/photos/DAHUS8W4rNE

Which person would you rather be?

I have to confess that I would much rather be in my shoes, than hers. I can’t even imagine how much pain she must be in on a daily basis to feel the way she does and I do not envy her one bit.  A word from the wise; don’t spend your time being a loser.

If this were the Wizard of Oz, I’d be dropping a house on someone right about now!

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to who is the Loser?

  1. I think it was Obi Wan Kenobi who said (I can’t believe I’m quoting “Star Wars” 🙂 ) something like, “Who’s the loser? The loser or the one who follows the loser?” It’s okay to be a loser (we all are now and then) as long as we don’t start following their example. Good post. 🙂

    Yes, she must be in a lot of pain.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. connie says:

    I’m glad you have found the words to tell it like it is about that person. I feel certain others will gain strength reading them and when their snake in the grass raises her ugly head to bite them, while pretending to serve water or wine next time, they will say, at least to themselves “You speak of love while you sharpen your rusty blade to cut me and others from behind, you are no longer worth my time or attention. Go to your mirror and wonder why.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sharon says:

    I’m sure you are not the loser. You have a heart of gold, and these days that can seem like a curse; but you just keep on being you. We need more like you in this world.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would say a loser is anyone who accepts that there have to be winners and losers in life …


  5. You’re right, of course! I didn’t make myself clear. What I meant was that those who think they have ‘won’ have in fact lost because by prioritising their own feelings over those of another person they have lost some of their own humanity. This would matter if we had proper communal values but our selfish, insanely individualised culture makes it all too common.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Author Interview – Katie Lewington (Poet & Author) – Put Me Down, I’m Terrible & Just: A sign of the times | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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