I was chatting with a recent reader of my blog when she remarked that she sure hoped when those disordered people read my blog, they figured out how much they were hurting people and tried to get help for themselves. It always pains me a little to try to explain to someone, who has the absolute right and just thoughts, that disordered people would probably never read my blog.
If a narcissist or sociopath did read it, it was simply to see if I mentioned their name, talked about stuff that happened between us, or someone else they might know. They would especially tune in if I wrote a particularly revealing and heart breaking post about myself. They love to wallow in another person’s pain, especially if they know me. They would point at their computer screen and scream about the blasphemy and lies I was telling and how I need to be taken down a notch or two. They would love to figure out a way to shut me down. They don’t want me writing.
I have even heard them admit to contacting WordPress to have my blog removed.
(fat chance 🙂 )
Many of them have never clicked the link to my blog and if you ask them about it, they’ll scoff and sneer and tell you they think I’m crazy. That’s their answer for anyone that doesn’t play by their rules.
You see, the people I write about don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. In fact, they are over there on their side saying the same things about me that I’m writing about them. They think I’m evil. You would think I’m evil too if you were doing something that was secretly found to be heinous and nasty, and someone like me comes along and start exposing and sharing all of these secrets to the masses. “THIS IS HOW YOU SPOT ONE!”
I don’t write for them, I never have. I write foremost for myself. A long time ago I figured I needed to start getting these thoughts out of my head and put down some place I could go back and look at them and make sense of them. It was ridiculous how good it felt just to write those feelings down. It must be how it feels to write a song. It was therapy.
But that’s not the only reason I write.
I write for you. I write so that when you come here to read something, you find another clue, you discover another tool you can use, a secret you can implement, that will continue to carry you down the road to recovery. I want you to find a way out of the mess you’re in and you want that too, or you wouldn’t be reading right now.
I want you to find your voice, just like I did, and I want you to start using it.
I want you to feel empowered.
I want to give you every good reason in the world to stop allowing them to abuse you.
Today find a beautiful serenely calm place to sit for a moment or two. Close your eyes and think of how perfectly wonderful your life will be. I want you to make a promise to yourself to make and keep good, healthy and strong personal boundaries. Shut down your negative self-talk. You are a magnificent human being and you deserve everything in life that is good and wholesome.
That is your birthright.
Now go out there and get it!
Thank you for stopping by today and having a look. There is so much more like this under Categories in the column to the right on your screen. You can also search for posts using keywords in the Search box. If you’d like to know when I write something new, click the Follow button after adding your email address. As always, until next time, this is Madeline Laughs.