Facebook, Safebook, Happybook

stocksnap_juc6r3pple

I have been chastised for deleting people from my Friends list. I was told some folks found it offensive. For a while I felt bad about that, but it never stopped me from hitting the Delete button.

Your Facebook account is YOURS and it is what you make it.

I think sometimes people get the wrong impression about “friending” someone. They think this gives them a license to execute several socially unacceptable behaviors in your presence and it’s okay because it’s just Facebook. I’m here to tell you, it’s not okay. That’s why there’s a Delete button.

Then there is the “one degree of separation” syndrome. 

I was victim to a petty public humiliation on Facebook a few years back when I offended some folks. They ganged up on me and posted everywhere they could think of just to get in my Face-book. If you dissected their actions you could build a tree of how they were gathering the ranks as they posted on some of my friend’s pages that they professed to hate with an “Oh, be included in our tirade!” Some of these friends participated without really even knowing what was going on. How’s that for being manipulated?!

Rather than expose their dirty laundry by trying to defend myself or even explain it to some folks, I exercised my right to Delete button and eliminated the one degree of separation on the In-Your-Face-Book campaign.

Angry mobs on Facebook are quite common. They are the definition of Cyber Bullying. Don’t subject yourself to their immaturity by keeping them on your Friend List out of some misguided grown-up notion. Yes, you can use your Settings to keep them in check, but I see that as a reward for bad behavior.

If they want to be a jerk, they don’t deserve to play in my backyard.

stocksnap_yebi1n2k7s

I have also been stalked on Facebook and was resigned to delete folks from my Friend List that shared a connection with my stalker. These were people that I truly enjoyed interacting with. That was a difficult thing to do, but necessary. The stalker followed me all over Facebook until finally I had to close the door on many of my connections. It broke my heart to see folks drop out of my Feed, but the peace of mind was so worth it to me. Besides, I still email with my friends and they know how I feel about them.

I want the people on my Friend List to be the same people I would enjoy being in the same room with. That’s why they’re there. I’m not interested in being verbally abused or threatened or gossiped about. Are you?

Take a look at your Facebook Friends.

  • Do you feel safe when you post?
  • Are you compelled to hide certain information from folks because you think they might hurt you?
  • Do you have people on your list that you really can’t stand?

If so, delete them. There’s no rule against it.

I know there are some arguments  against this…

For instance, the divorced father that keeps the ex-wife on his friend list for the sake of his child. I find that admirable, but if it hinders your social networking experience because the two of you aren’t friends, why not monitor the ex-wife’s activity on the child’s page and eliminate her from yours?

There is also the assumption that if you delete a bunch of “friends”, that have made it clear they don’t like you, then somehow they win by making you delete them. Um, hello? What do they win? And who continues to lose by allowing them to share your space? Yes, there is the joy of living harmoniously, but I see no harmony in allowing people that wish me ill to be able to connect with me in any way.

Don’t let anyone dictate to you how to manage your Facebook. It’s supposed to be fun and it’s supposed to make you happy. When it stops doing that, use your delete button.

Make your Facebook a Safebook and have a Happybook! I’ll see you in my Newsfeed 🙂

Advertisements

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Facebook Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Facebook, Safebook, Happybook

  1. Trapped Ape says:

    Agreed. It is silly and insidious to let Facebook define terms for you. They’re just a corporation providing you with a service in hopes of making a profit. Fine, no problem with that. This corporation chose the term “friend” and you have no choice but use that FB terminology when you “friend” someone on FB. It can mean anything from “I think you’re kindof a jerk but you’re part of a nice little community we have here at work” to “I want to sleep with you, I want to sleep with you!” Buyer beware: it only means what it means to you and the person you’ve “friended”–and it’s not necessarily the same thing.

    Like

  2. Pingback: keep Friends Close, all others discard | Madeline Scribes

  3. andy1076 says:

    Geeez, FB is indeed very much yours to do as you like, people should not be upset by how you want to handle it? :-/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The best button on Facebook is the “delete my account button.” 3 years ago I read an article titled: “If you wanna be happy, DITCH Facebook.” I did and I am. Facebook seems to breed negativity and it’s hard to deny what a waste of time it is. As a blind man, I can say with certainty Facebook added to my isolation rather than help me connect with the world. People with disabilities are often maligned on Facebook. There is a universe of positive experiences available on the internet… Facebook is not one of them. Yuck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that each of us have our own way of dealing with social media. I like it. But I had to learn to deal with the downside and one of those downsides is the negativity and isolation you talk about.

      Facebook can definitely make you feel isolated, especially when you’re being bullied on there. You feel like the whole world is out to get you, when the reality is that it’s just a few insecure buttheads with way too much time on their hands.

      But it can also keep you from being isolated by giving you a place to go and see your friends, no matter where they might be living. You have the ability to make Facebook a safe place now. I would rather see folks do that, than deactivate out of fear.

      Deactivating from boredom or from a negative stream…those are good reasons too. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • I am not affected by bullies. I am actively engaged in my local government as an advocate for people with disabilities. I have argued for equal access for people with disabilities for decades. The isolation I speak of is Facebook’s active refusal to allow the Technologies that help blind and people with limited Mobility to participate, on an even footing, in Facebook. This only happens on Facebook which means it is an intentional filtering of these Technologies. Facebook actively shuts down third-party applications that desire to make Facebook accessible to people with disabilities who must have these Technologies in order to participate. Facebook is free to do as it chooses. the attitudes on Facebook are shaped by the policies of the Facebook Team. I cannot, in good conscience, support a so-called social media site, that segregates and silences certain segments of our community. I don’t expect people without disabilities to understand this type of discrimination but Facebook has been fully informed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I was not aware of this Buffalo Tom. Thank you for letting me know. I will keep this in mind for anything I can participate in for the future of making this right.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Not a problem. Facebook has some very serious issues for all its users. Not the least of which is lack of accessibility. By a default agreement all Facebook users surrender copyrights to their original material posted directly on Facebook. Should Facebook decide to misuse your original works, you would have to sue them, at your expense, to stop them. You will notice that savvy producers of original works never post their work directly on Facebook but rather use links to other sites however, Facebook will own and control your post containing the link. it is usually not possible to delete your original material from Facebook once you have posted it. Facebook will use your original Works, without your knowledge, to promote commercial products and companies and other Facebook users that you may not approve of.
        I suppose Facebook is fine if you want to talk about the weather but it is a terrible place to Showcase your original work. most of the misappropriations and misuse of your Facebook posts are done automatically and in an automated way that the Facebook team cannot control… hence all of the disclaimers and permissions when you open a Facebook account.

        Liked by 1 person

I think it's so nice to see your thoughts! Please share!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s