This seems to be a question people have no shame asking these days. I have even asked the question if it was someone I cared enough about to wonder. Mostly when I get deleted now I don’t even notice. I decided a couple of years ago to stop watching that “friend number” because in real life, it means nothing.
How about when you figure out someone blocked you that you don’t even know? On yeah! That’s happened to me too. My husband and I were out to dinner when one of his old friends approached us. The guy shook our hands and exclaimed how great it was to see us. You’d never guess that he had blocked me on Facebook! I wish I could have seen the look on my face when he was talking to us. I’m sure it was one of absolute gall!
When he walked away I told my husband what the guy had done. “I didn’t know you knew him well enough to be friends with him on Facebook.” he said. I replied that I didn’t really know him at all and I had never been friends with him on Facebook. I was watching my husband have this exchange with another person on there one afternoon and I couldn’t see who he was talking to. I thought that was odd, so I asked one of my friends to tell me if she could see the person. She told me the guy’s name and I remember a creepy feeling passing over me because who would do something like that? What kind of weirdo blocks his friend’s wife, a woman he’s seen maybe once in his life and does not know at all? What happens in a person’s life that sends them over that edge?
- You never know what kind of heinous behavior is lurking around on your social network, be aware and be careful.
- When a complete stranger blocks you, don’t bother asking why they did it. Just back away slowly and limit your exposure to them from that moment forward. There are no logical or healthy reasons they could ever give you that would make them not look crazy and stalker-ish.
I went through a period about three years ago where I was getting bullied by my mother-in-law for stuff I posted on Facebook. Every week she was calling me from her job to yell at me about something I had posted on there. None of it had anything to do with her. It was all just me, posting about daily life. I wondered how she was even seeing any of it since she’s not on Facebook! And I was especially keen on cutting off the source since it was causing me a lot of unnecessary grief.
It turns out that some of it was just pleasantries in passing with one of her customers asking how I was doing. That should have been a nice thing for her to pass along to me and instead she used it to chastise me because strangers knew my personal business. If they were on my friend list though, they weren’t strangers to me. A couple of people actually opened their accounts up on their phone to show her my pictures because they thought they were being nice and simply sharing. She would smile and coo along with them and later call me and curse me.
The only solution I could come up with, short of asking people not to do this, was to remove friends from my Facebook list. This was before you could choose your audience, so deletion was my only choice. It made one person particularly angry and I was subjected to more hostility, simply because I had a Facebook account. It makes me wonder sometimes why I bothered staying online.
- If you find yourself in a hornet’s nest of hostility because of the company you’re keeping on Facebook, establish and maintain some healthy personal boundaries with Facebook friends and also with the people complaining about them. Who you are or aren’t friends with on Facebook is no one’s business.
- If you feel uncomfortable with the kind of exposure you get because one of your friends on Facebook is friends with people that you would rather not be exposed to, then let your friend know in the friendliest way possible that it’s not personal to them, but you’d rather have your friendship connection to them in the real world instead of in the cyber world. This way everybody wins, even the jerks you’re trying to avoid.
- There are some folks that can not distinguish between the real world and the cyber world. Those are people you’ll just have to get used to and figure out a way to deal with.
I deleted this one person because I didn’t trust them in real life. Now every time I see this person they only want to know why I deleted them on Facebook. There will never be an answer they find acceptable because I think people like that already know they were connecting to you out of some kind of malicious intent. They know, trust me.
I figure why keep that window of my life open to anyone that only wants to harm me? I will never understand why people do that on any kind of social media.
- If you don’t like them, or you don’t trust them or if they give you any kind of red flag raising moments, delete them! Keeping them that close to you is not some new age warfare about keeping your enemies closer. That’s crap. It also doesn’t make you the BIGGER person. It simply means those personal boundaries you said you made, are being broken every day this situation continues.
- Also never, ever feel obligated or get bullied into accepting anyone’s friend request. If you have to accept a “friend” request under duress then odds are this person is not friendly, at all.
I revamped two articles I have written about this same subject about Facebook. I am republishing them today because I think they are worthy of a look. One is entitled “Keep friends close, all others discard” and it’s about why keeping enemies as friends on any social network just doesn’t make sense to me. The other post is entitled “Facebook, Safebook, Happybook” where I talk about some of the more heinous things that have happened to me on Facebook. Both articles give the reader valuable information about how to protect yourselves while having fun on social media. Check them out!
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