I have never been uninvited to anything in my life. To be uninvited implies you were invited, and the host/hostess changed their mind and uninvited you. Whenever I have not been invited it was because the person throwing the party didn’t want me there, or it was simply an oversight.
When one is not invited, it is gauche to let them know there’s a party and they aren’t invited. Believe it or not, I had a friend like that once. Emphasis on the word “had”.
One time my name was omitted from a wedding invitation because I had dated the groom. The wedding was my cousin’s. Yes, I dated the guy, but I only went out with him twice and he never even kissed me on the lips. I didn’t particularly spark with him so the next time he called, I was busy. He dated my cousin right after that and she sealed the deal with him by getting pregnant, so he married her. I think that was good on him, but I don’t think it was good on her not to invite me to the wedding just because I dated him. They’re divorced now.
If it’s a family event and you plan to leave a family member out of the celebration, don’t expect karma to let you slide.
When space is limited, I understand when I’m not invited to join old friends that are gathering for a reunion. I totally get that and it doesn’t hurt my feelings one bit. Sometimes there just isn’t enough room to accommodate other people. I know this is a fact because the house we live in right now is incredibly small. I was having a party once and when the guest list reached 30 people, I started to panic. Where would they all sit, or stand?
Know the size of your party location and prepare to invite as many as can fit and still be comfortable.
It’s a mean friend that makes you wait around for a phone call to hang out with them and they call from the restaurant saying they just finished breakfast and are in a hurry to get somewhere, but would you like to tag along. Um no, I would not. I might have enjoyed sharing breakfast with them though. I would have enjoyed getting a phone call earlier, instead of waiting around all morning to hear from them while they had a leisurely meal together. I would have liked that invitation much better instead of the afterthought and the rushed feeling.
If you’re going to invite someone to do something, treat them with the same respect you’d like to be treated with. If being an afterthought is something that makes you chub up, then by all means…be rude. Eventually you’ll be alone, because no one wants to be second best, rushed to get ready or an afterthought.
Some folks just have the worst manners when it comes to invitations, or including people in their plans. While others are spot on and prove it every single time they throw a shindig.
There are some hard and fast rules of etiquette for invitations though.
What should you do if you don’t have the room for a lot of people? Or perhaps not everyone gets long? There could be any number of reasons why you can’t invite absolutely everyone. Here are five easy guidelines to planning the perfect party.
- There are two important things to always consider first; location and budget. Once you know those two things you can move on to your guest list.
- What’s your party about? Should they bring gifts and what should they wear? Will there be alcohol? Is it BYOB? Are you serving food, like dinner? Or just nibbles?
- Can guests bring a Plus One? Are children invited?
- Be discreet passing out your invitations if you’re having a smaller party and not everyone is invited. If you want to avoid the drama of hurting someone’s feelings then don’t broadcast your party and ask the invited guests not to broadcast it. If your party is huge, make sure you invite everyone and let others know to invite people you might have forgotten.
- What do you do if some guests don’t get along, but you want them to come? Not inviting one or the other is never an option, unless you want to sever your friendship with one of them. Invite them both and privately let them know that the other will be attending and you would like for them to work it out, or keep their distance and not ruin your party.
How should you feel if you’re the one that didn’t get invited? I wouldn’t take it to heart. Sometimes it simply means there wasn’t enough room for everyone and that’s okay. If your friends constantly leave you out of their celebrations though, I might be inclined to find new friends. If you are always omitted from the guest list, that is hurtful and no one deserves to be treated that badly.
The worst “uninvitation” I have ever heard about was someone telling a friend that they were having a party that weekend. She was complaining that some people she invited had never RSVP’ed and it pissed her off that they could be that rude. And yet, the person she was complaining to was someone she had not invited. Now that’s more than lousy manners there. I know it’s probably hoping for too much, but wouldn’t it be just desserts if everyone was a no-show?
So until next time this is Madeline Laughs and I say Party On!!!!