I am a long standing member of The Wives Club.
If you are to believe every word out of Ethel’s mouth, the wives are the downfall of every story. Oh, okay, they’re just obstacles in her stories. In fact, it seems the wives hinder her from imposing and insinuating herself into their husband’s business interests and lives.
But did I mention?
Ethel was a wife too while she was doing all of this complaining and confabulating with other women’s husbands.
I can name some of them here that she has loudly complained about over the years. There’s Scott’s wife, and Roger’s wife and Peter’s wife, to name just a few. She hates them all and goes out of her way to make sure she discredits these lovely women whenever and however she can.
After all, these women were terribly great at something that was a mystery to her. These women knew how to have a successful marriage.
I became another one of her victims when she tried her best to seduce my husband and one of my good friends, into a shady fake business deal. Just like the wives that came before me, I confronted her. I complained to my husband about her insinuating behavior. I told my friend that she was a toxic person and she was not allowed in our home. I refused to answer her emails to me and I fired back when she reduced our communication to mud-slinging.
The one thing I did differently than the other wives was I exposed her to the community she was so deeply invested in. I let others see behind the curtain she used to hide her blasphemy. She didn’t expect that and she never saw me coming.
Poor, pitiful Ethel. How she has suffered from having to deal with “The Wife”.
She languished terribly because out of all of her fantastical braggart modes of seduction, not one of the husbands ever showed the tiniest bit of interest in her. Not one! All of the alleged romance with each of them happened in her head. When those smart husbands finally did figure out what Ethel had in mind for them, they all politely declined and discontinued contact with her. The so-called business deals vanished into thin air.
Now she settles for the pleasantries that come with social grace whenever these deserter husbands are present. She smiles and pretends they have a secret that no one else knows and nothing could be farther from true. The husbands, being the nice people they always were, feel pity for poor Ethel and they smile back and keep their distance. I can tell you how it starts in case you ever fall victim to this creature.
She starts by sending an email here and there. Perhaps she will send him texts or call him after work hours. Anything to introduce herself into his life beyond his real job will do.
Then she pitches an event of some kind that she and your husband can collaborate on. That’s her shtick…collaboration. When she and your husband are “collaborating”, she can use this connection to try to control him and to exclude you.
Once she has the target-husband’s interest stoked about her event, she hijacks their Inbox and has been known to email them four and five times a day. She starts calling incessantly and making promises of big money if only they let her do this for them. Who wouldn’t turn down an offer to get free money?!
She used to be able to extend an invitation to an event she was in charge of, but those folks wised up and finally fired her after numerous complaints about her behavior. I remember hearing about some of the toxic conversations she would have with boyfriends that wanted to bring their girlfriends along. “Sucks to be you!” she would yell into the phone. Then she would threaten that if they disobeyed her, she would tell the hosting hotel to charge them for their lodging and she would never invite them to come to her event again.
She never hesitates to let everyone else know what a burden the wife can be to “their” new business venture.
The piece de resistance would be the email with “Oh! To save some money, why don’t we share a room, just as friends?”
There will be several requests for the husband’s presence or attention, but never an invite for the wife. She pretends that her relationship with the husband is “man’s work” and the little lady is best left at home. When the husband insists on including his wife in the project, all bets are off and she will add him to her never-ending litany of poisonous gossip she shares with whichever community is paying homage to her at the moment.
She is a predator and a sociopath.
Whatever happened to her poor husband? When he finally figured out what she was doing he cut her off, threw her out of the house, divorced her and married someone better a year later.
What can you do if you find out your own marital bliss is being invaded by someone like this?
- The best defense is communication. A spouse that is in a committed relationship will feel uncomfortable when someone like this starts to send any kind of questionable communication that suggests a “cahoots” kind of connection. Your spouse will tell you about it and the two of you can decide how it should be handled.
- Not responding directly to the predator is the best method and has proven effective 100% of the time. Be prepared for gossip as fallout because a predator left unsatisfied has no other recourse but to make you into an enemy. Not to worry though. Your real friends will see through this and the ones that go along with the bad behavior aren’t folks you want to be around anyway.
- Do not go out of your way to launch a defensive campaign. That’s just what the predator wants you to do. They will tie you up and keep you busy defending yourself until the cows come home! Don’t respond directly to them on anything they say. Silence is golden when it comes to direct contact with the predator. Break that connection and never look back.
- Talk about your situation with other people as it pertains to you. You can tell your story without being provocative or defensive. Talk about what happened and how you handled it so that others that could be in jeopardy of falling victim to this predator can protect themselves.
- Expose the predator. Let mutual friends know what happened. You don’t have to place blame or be judgmental. Just talk about what happened. Allow your friends to come to their own conclusions, but never be silent about the predator and what this person has done. To be silent is to give them permission to continue victimizing others.
Coveting another woman’s married life will only bring you sorrow.
When you become so incredibly arrogant that you assume you can be an excellent replacement for another person’s spouse, simply by offering them a business opportunity, then you need some serious professional help.
The best advice I have is that anyone that thinks this is good behavior, it’s not. Stop pursuing the unavailable and build a life of your own that doesn’t come at the expense of someone else. Anytime you’re in hot pursuit of someone who is obviously happily married or in a committed relationship, and you get burned, you have no one to blame but yourself. Blaming your target’s spouse is delusional.
Like I said, I have joined the elite. I am now a full fledged, pledged member of The Wives Club with an enabling husband to boot. Yes, my husband does enable me in many ways. He enables me to have a happy home and to live a good life. Being the Wife definitely has it’s benefits.
It’s a liberating feeling to live with integrity.
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